«I did, my darling. I had to get my life together.»
«Not a word, not a letter, even a call. I went out of my mind!»
«I could never replace Ingrid, I knew that.»
«Didn’t you know how much I wanted you to try?»
«We come from different worlds, my dearest. Your life is here; mine is in Europe. I have responsibilities you don’t have, Tye, I tried to tell you that.»
«I remember only too well. Save the Children, Relief for Somalia—two or three other initials I could never figure out.»
«I’d been away too long, far longer than I would have been without you. Organizationally, things were a mess, and several interfering government regimes weren’t helping. But now that the Quai d’Orsay is firmly behind us, things are easier.»
«How so?»
«For example, one time last year in Ethiopia …» As she spoke of the triumphs of her several charities—over bureaucratic barriers or far worse—her natural ebullience lent a kind of lovely electricity to everything about her. Her wide, soft eyes were so alive, her face so expressive, revealing that well of infinite hope she drew from and which sustained her. Her capacity for compassion was almost unreal, made infinitely credible by a sincerity that bordered on naivete, in itself denied by a soft-spoken intelligence and worldliness.
«… so you see, we got through with twenty-eight trucks! You can’t imagine what it was like to see the villagers, especially the children whose hunger was in their faces, and the older ones who had nearly given up hope! I don’t think I ever cried with so much happiness… And now the supplies get through regularly, and we’re branching out everywhere, as long as we keep up the pressure!»
«Keep up …?»
«You know, my darling, harass the harassers with our own threats, presented gently, of course, with our very official documents. The Republic of France is not to be toyed with!» Dominique smiled triumphantly, her eyes bright.
He loved her so. She could not leave him again!
«Let’s go get a drink,» said Hawthorne.
«Oh, yes, please! I do so want to talk to you, Tye. I missed you so. I have an appointment with my uncle’s lawyer at the bank, but he can wait.»
«It’s called island charm. Nobody gets anywhere on time.»
«I’ll call him from wherever we are.»
4
They sat at a sidewalk café, their hands clasped across the table as a waiter brought Dominique an iced tea and Hawthorne a carafe of chilled white wine. Tyrell spoke.
«Why did you disappear?»
«I told you. I had other commitments.»
«We might have become one, a commitment, I mean.»
«That’s what frightened me. Quite simply, you were becoming too important.»
«For what? I thought you felt the way I did.»
«Your confusion and your guilt about Ingrid were overwhelming, Tye. You didn’t drink because you were an alcoholic, your charters proved that. You simply had to go a little wild when you weren’t responsible for anyone but yourself. You couldn’t forgive yourself for what happened.»
«That was it, wasn’t it?»
«What was?»
«You wanted to be more than a nursemaid, and I was so wrapped up in myself, I couldn’t see it. I’m so sorry.»
«Tye, you were deeply hurt and bewildered, I understood that. If I’d felt the way you say, we wouldn’t have had the time we did together. Almost two years, my darling.»
«It wasn’t long enough.»
«No, it wasn’t.»
«Remember how we first met?» asked Hawthorne warmly, his eyes locked with hers.
«How could I forget?» she replied, laughing softly and squeezing his hand. «I’d leased a boat and was sailing it into the marina on St. Thomas when I had some difficulty pulling into the slip I was told to use.»
«Difficulty? You came in under full sail as though you were tacking toward a racing marker. You scared the hell out of me.»
«I don’t know how afraid you were, but you were certainly angry.»
«Dominique, my sloop was moored in your direct line of attack.»
«Oh, yes, you stood on your deck, waving your arms and swearing at me—but then I did manage to miss you, didn’t I?»
«I still don’t know how you did it.»
«You couldn’t see, my darling. You were so angry, you’d fallen into the water.» They both laughed, leaning toward each other over the table. «I felt so ashamed,» continued Dominique softly. «But I did apologize to you when you came on shore.»
«Yes, you did, at Fishbait’s Whisky Shack. Your coming over to me made me the envy of all the charters … and it was the beginning of some of the happiest months of my life. What I remember best were the sails we took alone to so many tiny islands, sleeping on the beaches—making love there.»
«And loving, my darling.»
«Can we start again? The past recedes, and I’m a lot less screwed up now. I’m even known to laugh a lot and tell dumb jokes, and you’d like my brother… Can we start again, Dominique?»
«I’m married, Tye.»
It was as though Hawthorne had been struck by the bow of an ocean liner while in a fog-bound sea. For several moments he could not speak, speech was beyond him; he was capable only of lowering his eyes and doing his best to simulate normal breathing. He began to release Dominique’s hand; she abruptly stopped him, covering both with her free one. «Please don’t, my darling.»
«He’s a lucky fellow,» said Tyrell, staring at their hands. «Is he also a nice guy?»
«He’s sweet and devoted and very, very rich.»
«He’s got two out of three more than I do. But devoted I would be.»
«The rich helped, I won’t deny that. I don’t have particularly expensive tastes, but my causes aren’t cheap. And the modeling profession, which certainly afforded me a lovely apartment and glorious clothes, doesn’t care to hire crazy crusaders. I was glad to leave it behind me. I was never comfortable showing off designs barely an iota of the buying public could afford.»
«You’re in another world, lady. You’re also a happily married woman, then?»
«I didn’t say that,» said Dominique quietly, firmly, her eyes now focused on their entwined hands.
«I missed something.»
«We are a marriage of convenience, as La Rochefoucauld phrased it.»
«I beg your pardon?» Hawthorne raised his eyes, studying her passive face.
«My husband is a closet homosexual.»
«Thank God for favors, large and small.»
«He’d find that amusing… We lead a strange life, Tye. He’s quite influential and extremely generous, not only in helping me raise funds but in the area of government assistance, which we frequently need.»
«As in those official documents you mentioned?» said Tyrell.
«Right to the top of the Quai d’Orsay.» Dominique smiled her engaging smile. «He says it’s little enough he can do, for he insists I’m an enormous asset to him.»
«Obviously. No one could possibly ignore him with you at his side.»
«Oh, he goes further than that. He insists I attract a better class of clients, for only the wealthiest could afford me, if I were available. It’s a joke, of course.» With what appeared to be warm regret, Dominique disengaged her hands from his.
«Of course.» Hawthorne poured the rest of the wine into his glass and leaned back in his chair. «You’re out here visiting your uncle on Saba?» he asked.