“Perhaps it’s due to the marmalade,” he said, making the marmalade man laugh.
Then the same man continued his story about the impact marmalade had had on his family history. This time the old man spoke with even more enthusiasm.
As the number of people in the room grew, so did his urge to escape reality. He could see the box in the corner of his eyes.
At a young age, he used to seek refuge under his bed, sliding the blanket all the way down to the floor, and in the darkest corner under the bed, he would curl up with a pillow in his lap, with nothing to do but to count the time and wait for another day to pass. The solitude gave him refuge. At times, when he had no such place to hide, he created an imaginary box in the corner of his eyes.
He could see the box now in his peripheral vision. The lid was open. All he had to do was to acknowledge its existence, and the box would consume him and all his content. However, this time, the box started to shake, and it slowly disappeared.
“You’re falling asleep, son.”
The old man gently shook his shoulder and brought him back to reality.
“Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be. I know you’re tired, and I know I talk too much. In fact, I think that’s why my son wants me to attend tomorrow’s meeting. Once I get started, they’ll give in just to end the meeting.”
“I think I’ll go and splash some water in my eyes.”
“You want me to save your seat?”
“No, I’m fine. They’ll start the boarding soon anyway.”
“Well, you have a pleasant flight then.”
“You too, and thanks for the banana.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Lady Jane Marmalade,” he pronounced clearly, as he got up and left.
In the corner of his eyes, he could see the old man’s face light up with joy and enthusiasm. Behind his back, he gave the old man a discreet wave, as he kept walking.
He had no desire to splash water in his eyes, but he decided to do it anyway. If anything, it would erase the lie he’d just told the old man when he excused himself.
When he returned to the gate, he noticed that a young woman now occupied the seat next to the marmalade man. She was perhaps in her late twenties, and she appeared to be taking an interest in the exchange with the old man, or at least she pretended to do so. Perhaps it was just a way for her to distract herself from the mobile phone in her hand, and trying to convince herself that she didn’t have an addiction.
The sun had descended and was replaced by the peaceful darkness of the night. The reassuring glow of the landing lights illuminated the airstrip and gave him a sense of relief, while the thought of what would come next gave him a morbid feeling of accomplishment, and for a brief moment, he actually felt happy.
Soon it will all be over.
He noticed the happy couple from the coffee shop was waiting at the same gate as he was. They appeared to be mutually solving a crossword puzzle, and once again, they seemed very contented together, smiling and leaning in toward each other. This time, he noticed their wedding rings, and he began to wonder if the happy couple perhaps was on their honeymoon, which he thought could explain their overly affectionate feeling toward each other.
Seeing the two men in pilots’ uniforms made him feel both meek and vulnerable. He felt as though his life was in the palms of their hands, much as a patient would feel when greeted by the surgeon before an operation. He had no other choice but to trust the pilots with his life and only hope they’d carry out their duties and nothing more. The emotion puzzled him, and he couldn’t understand why he felt vulnerable, as he had nothing to lose. Suddenly, he felt insecure about everything, and his intuition told him something was wrong. He shouldn’t be on this flight, and he shouldn’t proceed with his plan.
Except for their matching uniforms with white shirts and black ties, the two pilots were remarkably different from one another, not only in their physical appearance, but also in their behavior. One pilot was tall and muscular and showed no interest in the passengers—if anything, he appeared to be trying his best not to notice them. The pilot looked furious, but at the same time absent, and his pulse was hammering on his neck.
The other pilot was shorter and much more inelegant, and he obviously loved the attention the uniform brought him, as he proceeded through the waiting area with a big smile. This pilot seemed to be paying extra attention to a particular woman, but she showed no interest in him. The woman appeared to be about twenty years younger than her unwanted and unappealing suitor.
Don’t embarrass yourself, buddy. The uniform can only do so much.
As the pilots marched along to their responsibilities, he noticed a female employee had appeared behind the counter, signaling that their boarding the plane was imminent. He noticed the old man was still in his seat, but his young neighbor had left her seat, as were the rest of the passengers about to do, thereby leaving the old man with the entire row for himself. The marmalade man showed no interest in rising from his seat; he wasn’t about to join the stampede.
Looking at the old man made him think of the men he’d served with, and the nickname they gave him. He also thought of the man he’d killed in battle.
“May I help you, sir?”
He flinched. “What?”
“Do you need help scanning your boarding pass?”
He realized he was holding up the line. After some hesitation, he slowly placed his boarding pass onto the scanner. The beeping sound from the machine confirmed that his plan was still in motion.
When he entered the plane, a beautiful female flight attendant greeted him with a smile, and he pretended not to notice her. She appeared to be about the same age as he.
He placed his blazer in the overhead storage bin and sat down in his seat. He tilted his head back and as he closed his eyes, the first word that popped up in his head was “marmalade.”
4 JOY
Friday evening
The sign reminded her of the jacket she wore. The jacket he’d bought for her birthday. He’d forgotten to take the tag off, so she knew where he’d bought it and how much he’d paid for it.
Her heart rate increased as she stepped out of the bus, and took in the scenery. She experienced the excitement only an airport could bring. The feeling was one of liberty along with a thrill of defying the laws of nature. She rarely got the opportunity to fly, but when she did, she felt like an explorer. She was intrigued to discover the adventures of life, and she was open to new ideas. She had a very relaxed attitude toward life and what might lie ahead.
On her way into the airport, she noticed the golden retriever by the entry. Her first impulse was to pet the dog, but then she noticed the sign that told her not to. The dog didn’t want to be disturbed. The dog was working. Then her mind began to drift away, as it usually did.
Who picked up after a seeing eye dog? Did the blind man pick up? How could he know where to find the object? Did the dog give him some kind of signal? Did the blind man use the cane to locate it?
The chain of thought made her feel guilty, and she told herself to stop drifting before her mind spun out of control. But it was too late, and in her next mental image, the blind man was on his knees, with his face close to the ground, and he kept sniffing as he attempted to locate the target.