TEN
“YOU ARE SO NOT LIKE WHAT I IMAGINED an angel to be. Your hair, your clothes…”
“My genitalia,” Samuel added a little mournfully.
Diana made a disgusted face and shoved mittened hands deeper into her pockets. “I wouldn’t know, and I’d really rather you quit mentioning it.”
“Them.”
“Whatever.”
“Why?” For no good reason, he jumped up and smacked the No Parking sign, checking out of the corner of one eye to see if the Keeper was impressed. She didn’t seem to be.
“They’re just not something people talk about in public.”
“Should we go someplace private?”
“You wish.”
“For what?”
“Pardon?”
“What do I wish for?”
“Well, if you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you.”
“But if I knew, you wouldn’t have to tell me,” he pointed out reasonably as they turned the corner onto Yonge Street. Across the road, a double line of people stood stamping their feet and blowing on their hands. “Those people are cold. Why are they standing there?”
“Best guess, they’re waiting to get into the electronics store for the Boxing Day sale.”
“Why?”
“What do you mean, why? Because it’s a sale.” She rolled her eyes. “I thought you had Higher Knowledge.”
“I do. The 26th of December is called Boxing Day because in Victorian England that’s when the rich boxed up their Christmas leftover for the poor.”
“Really?”
“It’s one theory. But it still doesn’t explain that.” He waved a hand at the crowd across the street. “Most of those people are anxious, over half are actually unhappy, and although they’ll be saving money, they’d all be better off if they just didn’t spend it. A new stereo won’t give meaning to their empty, shallow lives.”
Diana grabbed the back of his jacket as he stepped off the curb. “Where are you going?”
“To tell them that.”
“I’m just guessing here, but I think they know.”
He half-turned in her grip. “Really?”
“Uh-huh. It’s a human thing; a new stereo will help them forget their empty shallow lives.”
“Human memory is that bad?”
“Well, duh. Why do you think platform shoes and mini skirts have come back? Because people have forgotten how truly dorky they looked the first time.” Diana shuddered. “Me, I’ve seen my mother’s yearbook pictures.” She hauled him back up onto the sidewalk. “You hungry?”
“Starving.”
“You’re not supposed to be.” His situation had deteriorated farther than she’d feared. “Come on, I’ll buy you…” She checked her watch. “…lunch and we’ll talk.”
“…and that’s why you’re here.” Diana peered over the pile of fast food wrappers in front of the angel. “Are you blushing?”
“You said your sister…you know,” he mumbled.
“I really think you’ve got more to worry about than my sister’s sex life.” Elbows up on the table, she ticked the points off on her fingers. “One, angels are, by definition, messengers of the Lord, but because of the way you came into being, you have no message, thus leaving you with a distinct identity crisis.”
“Thus?”
“Don’t interrupt. Two, you can’t return to the light, so you’re stuck here even though you have no reason to be here and no visible means of support. Three, from what I’ve seen so far, the boy bits seem to be doing all the defining.”
“The what?”
She sighed. “Don’t make me say it.”
“Oh. Them. No, they’re not.”
“Yeah, they are.”
“No.”
“Yes. You shouldn’t be perpetually hungry. You shouldn’t know what a six-liter engine is.” Her eyes narrowed. “And you shouldn’t be looking at my breasts!”
Ears burning, he locked his gaze on her right eyebrow. “You’re a Keeper. You could send me back.”
“Only if you want to go.” Pushing a desiccated French fry around with a fingertip, she sighed again. This was, after all, why she’d come to Toronto. It had only taken a small prod from St. Patrick for her to realize that an angel designed by committee would need a Keeper’s help to go home—her help. “The problem is,” she said slowly, “if I send you back, you won’t be you anymore. You’d just be light.”
“But that’s what I am.”
Diana shook her head. “That’s not all you are. If I send you back, then the you that I’m talking to, the you that’s experienced the world, he’ll disappear. I’ll have killed him.”
“Killed me?” When she nodded, he frowned. “That sucks.”
“Tell me about it.”
“You already know about it.”
“Figure of speech, Samuel. I was agreeing with you.” She dropped her chin onto her hands. “I don’t know what to do, and I really hate that feeling.”
“Tell me about it,” Samuel muttered, unwrapping a fourth…something that seemed to involve chicken ova, a slice of pig in nitrate, and melted orange stuff probably intended to represent a dairy product. He’d eaten the first three too fast to really taste them, which all things considered, had probably been smart. “So, what you do think of the idea that I am the message? That I’m here to help people?”
“How? And don’t give me that look,” Diana warned him. “I’m not being mean, I’m being realistic. You can’t even help yourself.”
“I’ve been managing.”
“No. You haven’t. Can I think of an example? Hmmm, let’s see.” She leaned forward. “How about: without me, you’d be covered in pigeons.”
“Well, yeah, but…”
“And pigeon shit.”
His brows drew in. He didn’t know they could do that. It was an interesting feeling. “I’m still a superior being, I can figure stuff out.”
“How do you know you’re a superior being?”
“I just…know.”
“So does every other male between twelve and twenty,” she snorted, folding her arms. “But that doesn’t solve their problems either.”
Samuel stared at her for a long moment, then he smiled. “I could be insulted, but I know you’re only saying that because of your own sexual ambiguity.” He took a large bite and chewed slowly. “I mean, you say you’re a lesbian, but you’ve never actually made it with a woman although you did make it with a guy and it wasn’t entirely his fault it was such a disaster.”
Her lip curled. “If you were to choke right now, I wouldn’t save you.”
They left the highway just north of Huntsville, heading southwest on 518.
“We’re close,” Claire insisted when Austin pointed out the total lack of anything but Canadian landscape around them.
“Close to what?” he snorted. “The edge of the world?”
“We need to turn right soon. There.” She pointed. “Is that a road?”
It was. After another thirteen kilometers of spruce bog and snow, they passed the first house. Then the second. Then a boarded-up business. Then, suddenly, they were in downtown Waverton—all five blocks of it.
“Park in front of the bank.”
Braking carefully, Dean peered down at the thick, milky slabs of frozen water. “I don’t know, Claire; it looks some icy.”
“We’ll be okay.”
“If you’re thinking of using my kitty litter to make it okay, think again,” Austin muttered, climbing up onto the top of the seat.
“You mean because I’m only a Keeper with access to an infinite number of possibilities and wouldn’t be able to get this truck moving without a bag of dried clay bits designed to absorb cat urine?”
“Essentially…” He paused to lick his shoulder. “…yes.”
Lips pressed into a thin line, Claire reached into the possibilities and slid the truck sideways across the nearly frictionless surface, bringing it to a gentle stop against the slightly higher ice sheet that was the curb.