No wasted words. No wasted syllables.
Call me as soon as possible.
Payne swore under his breath. This wasn’t good news. It couldn’t be.
If Kaiser was calling, something bad had happened.
Payne and Jones had known Kaiser for a decade, but didn’t really know him.
Not his real name. Or where he lived. Or if he had a family.
But if they needed anything from the black market, he was the man to contact.
According to legend, he was an ex-supply sergeant who had retired from the US Army when he realized he could make a lot more money on his own. He started his operation in Germany near the Kaiserslautern Military Community, the largest US military community outside the continental United States. Known as K-Town, it houses nearly 50,000 people. Originally he catered to these displaced men and women, providing simple things from home that they couldn’t get on their own. Food, clothes, movies, books – all at a fair price.
Then the Internet came along and competed for his business, forcing him to dabble in other things: weapons, smuggling, and phoney IDs. Pretty much everything except drugs.
Over the years, Payne and Jones had done so much business with Kaiser that he eventually invited them to dinner to show his appreciation. In his line of work, face-to-face meetings were a rarity, but Kaiser knew if either man wanted to track him down, they could do it within a week. Not because he was sloppy or failed to take precautions, but because Payne and Jones were that good at their jobs. He figured, if they could find and eliminate terrorist strongholds in the mountains of Afghanistan, then they certainly could locate him in Germany.
With that in mind, he did whatever he could to stay on their good side.
But up until now, he had never called them in America.
Jones noticed the concern on Payne’s face. ‘What’s wrong?’
‘Nothing’s wrong.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘Not really.’
Jones lowered his voice to a whisper. ‘Who was it?’
Payne subconsciously glanced over his shoulder. ‘Kaiser.’
‘Kaiser? Was he returning a call of yours?’
‘Nope.’
‘Then something’s wrong. Kaiser wouldn’t call unless something’s wrong.’
‘Not necessarily. Maybe he’s in the States and wants to grab dinner.’
Jones grimaced. ‘Did he say he wants to grab dinner?’
‘Not in so many words.’
‘Then what did he say?’
Payne cleared his throat. ‘This is Kaiser. Call me asap.’
‘Good Lord! Someone’s dead.’
Payne couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Relax, princess. We don’t know that.’
‘Speak for yourself. I can tell. Someone’s dead.’
‘Here’s a thought. Why don’t I call him before you panic?’
‘I’m not panicking. I’m predicting.’
‘Well, it sounds like you’re panicking.’
‘Come on, Jon. You know me better than that. If anything, I’m excited about the possibilities. Watching you swim for kitchenware isn’t exactly rousing.’
‘That’s funny. I don’t remember you volunteering for the job.’
‘That’s because I don’t drink and dive.’
Payne smiled at the pun. ‘Touche.’
‘And even if I did, there’s no way I was going to jump in that water. Let’s face it: you’re gonna smell like fish for the rest of the weekend.’
Payne smelled the towel draped around his neck. ‘Please tell me you’re joking.’
Jones shook his head. ‘Let’s put it this way. You’re a good-looking billionaire and no women have flirted with you since your return. What does that tell you?’
‘It tells me that you think I’m good looking.’
‘What? That’s not what I meant.’
‘So what are you saying? It was a Freudian slip?’
‘No, Jon. My point is that you smell.’
‘Compared to normal?’
‘Exactly.’
Payne pressed the issue. ‘In other words, you usually like the way I smell.’
‘What?’
‘You think I’m a good-looking, good-smelling guy.’
‘Stop it! Quit putting words in my mouth.’
‘Dude, I’m not putting anything in your mouth.’
Jones blushed, worried some of the other guests might have overheard the comment. At first he was going to speak up and defend himself, then he thought better of it. No matter what he said, it was going to be taken out of context and used against him. So he stood silently waiting for Payne to let him off the ropes. But Payne wasn’t done throwing verbal jabs.
‘What’s wrong, DJ? Did I embarrass you? Or are you jealous?’
‘Jealous? Of what?’
‘That another guy phoned me. I swear we’re just friends.’
Jones laughed to himself, surprised that Payne was still busting his balls. Normally Jones was the childish one in their friendship, always joking at inappropriate times, and Payne was the adult. The sudden role reversal made Jones wonder if his friend had stayed underwater a little too long.
‘On that note,’ Jones said, ‘I’m going to get a drink.’
Payne smiled in victory but couldn’t resist a knockout blow. ‘I think we’re out of daiquiris. But if you’d like, we can probably get a pink umbrella for your beer.’
4
Despite groans of protest from his guests, Payne lowered the volume on his stereo – low enough to return Kaiser’s call, yet loud enough to prevent eavesdroppers – then strolled to the far end of his boat. Some people might have viewed him as paranoid, but not Jones. Years of experience had taught them the value of secrecy. One of their superiors at the Pentagon used to say, ‘the smallest of leaks can sink the biggest of ships’, and they knew this to be true.
In their world, small leaks were often plugged with bullets.
Using his encrypted cell phone, Payne dialled 0-1-1, followed by the country code for Germany, and then Kaiser’s number. A few seconds later, he was chatting with the man who ran the largest black market network in Europe.
‘Thanks for getting back to me so quickly,’ Kaiser said. ‘I wasn’t sure if a man of your stature would return a call from someone like me.’
Payne smiled. ‘Why wouldn’t I? I talk to assholes all the time. Including DJ.’
Kaiser laughed loudly. Very few people had the guts to tease him, and even fewer had permission to do so. Payne was one of the chosen few. ‘How long has it been? Two, maybe three years?’
‘Gosh, I hope not. Otherwise we’re both getting old.’
‘In my line of work, there is no old. Only alive and dead.’
‘Damn, Kaiser, how depressing! And you wonder why I never call?’
Kaiser grinned, glad their rapport hadn’t diminished over time. If it had, he wouldn’t have revealed the real reason for his call. ‘So tell me, how’s the corporate world?’
‘Boring as hell. How about you? How’s the … um … concierge business?’
‘Lucrative.’
‘Even in a recession?’
‘Especially in a recession.’
‘Good to know,’ Payne said, although he wasn’t the least bit surprised.
‘What about DJ? How’s he doing?’
Payne glanced at Jones, who was sipping a beer while sitting nearby. ‘Right now he’s working on his tan. I can put him on if you’d like.’
‘Actually,’ Kaiser said, ‘can I speak to both of you at once? That might be easier.’
‘Not a problem. Let me put you on hold and call his cell. We can do one of those menage a call things.’
‘Excuse me?’