He’d been a loner as a kid—his grandfather had made sure of it. In the last two years, since Jacqueline and Chad had gone, he’d shut himself away, had thrown himself into work. It hit him now that he’d neglected those four friends of his. They’d rung, tried to arrange outings. He’d ignored them, cut them off. Kit would never do that to her friends. He lifted his head and steepled his hands beneath his chin. When he returned to Sydney he’d contact each of them and make arrangements to catch up, apologise.
He slumped back against the sofa, his lips twisting. He had more acquaintances, col eagues and associates than he could poke a stick at, but it wasn’t like the community that surrounded Kit. To his untrained eye, it looked as if everyone in town had clamoured to welcome her home. From her old school friends, to her mother and grandmother’s friends, to neighbours old and new and everyone in between. He hadn’t known until he’d come here how important family and friends were to Kit.
She belonged here.
He’d never belonged anywhere.
He’d never belonged anywhere.
But then he remembered sitting in a tree, his mother coming out with milk and biscuits, humming her song, and his father waltzing her around the back garden. He’d belonged once.
Could he belong again?
‘Ready?’
Alex started. He’d been so lost in thought he hadn’t noticed Kit enter the room. The vision of her stole his breath. She wore a loose cotton sundress that fel to just below her knees, leaving her glorious golden calves on display. The dress—indigo-blue dotted with tiny sprigs of white flowers—made the golden highlights in her hair and eyes gleam.
The dress scooped down in a low vee at the neckline, making him swal ow. He told himself he was grateful she wore a little khaki three-quarter-sleeve jacket with it. He just knew that beneath that jacket the dress would have those tiny shoestring straps. Straps made for being pushed off glorious golden shoulders. Shoulders made for kissing and—
‘Alex?’
High colour stained her cheekbones, but her chin hitched up as he continued to survey her. If he reached for her now she’d let him. They’d make glorious golden love.
And Kit would interpret that as a sign that he meant to stay, that he meant to stay and make a family with her and the baby. She’d give al of herself.
She’d have every right to expect the same in return.
It didn’t matter how much he hungered to lose himself in her softness, her promise; it didn’t matter how much he ached to give her al her heart desired.
The hope is greater than the fear.
He didn’t know if that was true for him. And until he’d worked it out, touching Kit and kissing her, that was off limits.
He shot to his feet and swung away.
‘Alex?’
He heard the frown in her voice and forced himself to take another step away from her and her heavenly, beguiling scent. ‘I was thinking my time might be better spent getting on with the painting than attending a tea party.’
‘You made the cake so you have to come. It’s the rules.’
‘You can pretend you baked it.’
She snorted. ‘Everyone who knows me would see through that lie in a mil isecond. Anyway, my grandmother is expecting you and the luncheon is for charity. It’l only be for an hour or so. Grit your teeth, smile politely, eat cake and then it’l al be over. Oh, and pack your board shorts. I thought we might drop in for a swim at the ocean baths at Forster on our way home. It’s supposed to get hot today.’
The rest of his argument died on his lips. He and Kit swimming together? He wouldn’t risk it if it weren’t in a public place.
But it was in a public place and it was too much to resist.
The retirement vil age was on the outskirts of Forster. It only took them ten minutes to drive there and, although they arrived on the dot at midday, the luncheon was already in ful swing.
Ostensibly the event was supposed to take place in the community hal , but it had spil ed out into the surrounding gardens. Kit dropped a two-dol ar coin into the donation box before he could stop her. He pushed a twenty-dol ar note through the slot. He’d tried to do it unobtrusively, but her gaze had flicked back at him, mouth open as if she meant to say something. She blinked and then she sent him a smile that warmed him to the soles of his feet.
‘That was very generous.’
He shrugged. ‘It’s for charity.’
‘Okay, let’s find Grandma. We’l say hel o, place the cake in her capable hands, make ourselves up plates of goodies and then find some people to talk to.’
He bit back a sigh. It had al sounded great up until that last bit. He’d rather find a cosy corner and settle down to flirt with her. Finding people to talk to, a crowd, was far more sensible. Safer.
There was stil the promise of that swim later.
He’d hold onto that while he gritted his teeth and made smal talk.
‘I’ve been meaning to say,’ Kit said, ‘that I like this new casual look of yours.’
He wore a pair of long, loose cargo shorts and a cotton T-shirt. The simple compliment took him off guard. He didn’t know what to say. ‘Can’t paint in a suit,’ he final y muttered. ‘I’d look a bit stupid.’
Her laugh made him grin. He could do smal talk for an hour or so. For Kit. He could do anything she wanted him to.
Can you be the man she needs you to be? Can you be a father for her baby?
He pushed the thought away. He wasn’t ready to face those questions and al they implied yet.
Well, then, when?
He rol ed his shoulders. Later. When he had her house finished and… He gulped. The house was almost finished. Another week or so and…
Soon. He’d have to answer those questions soon.
‘Alex, it’s lovely to see you again. I’m so glad you could make it.’
He latched onto the distraction. ‘Nice to see you again, Mrs…uh…Patti,’ he corrected at her glare.
‘Thank you for the cake, dear. Now, head on over to the tables and grab yourselves some food before it’s al gone.’
‘No chance of that,’ Alex said. ‘You’l be eating this for a week!’
Patti touched his arm. ‘Make sure my
granddaughter has something with lashings of fresh cream. It’s good for the baby.’
Fresh cream? He frowned. He’d baked a simple sultana pound cake. He wished now that he’d baked something with lashings of cream, like a strawberry shortcake. Tomorrow he’d make Kit one of those.
He liked to watch her eat. He’d like to watch her lick whipped cream from her fingers. He’d like to drop dol ops of whipped cream onto her naked body and slowly lick—
Whoa!
He did his best to banish that image as he fol owed Kit. She pushed an unerring path through the crowd towards laden trestle tables groaning under the weight of luncheon goodies.
She glanced back at him over her shoulder. ‘How d’you learn to bake anyway? I thought you said your mum couldn’t bake to save her life.’
‘I spent a lot of time in the kitchen when I lived at my grandfather’s, watching the housekeeper. Some of it obviously rubbed off.’
She started fil ing two plates with sandwiches, cakes and slices. He scanned the table for something laden with whipped cream. He seized a chocolate éclair and popped it onto one of the plates. ‘Your grandmother’s orders,’ he muttered at her raised eyebrow.