The next morning, when I returned home to change and shower, I found Emerson in the kitchen.
“Hey. You didn’t come home last night,” she spoke.
“I had so much work to do and I fell asleep.”
“Oh. I hope you slept okay. I sent you a couple of text messages but you didn’t reply.”
I shrugged. “I’m just home to shower and change.”
She looked down and I looked away.
“Okay. I hope your day goes better.”
“Thanks.” I went upstairs and sat on the edge of my bed, placing my face in my hands for a moment before showering and leaving again.
After spending the day thinking about Emerson and looking up the definition of love once again, I had no choice but to tell her how much I loved her. I wasn’t letting her go anywhere. She belonged here with me. We belonged together whether she believed it or not. I had stopped by the florist and picked up a dozen red roses for her. I was going to make her see that staying in California was the best thing for her. That I was the best thing for her.
When I arrived home, I couldn’t find her.
“Jenna, where’s Emerson?”
She looked at me and then looked down.
“Jenna?”
“She’s gone, Mr. Parker.”
“WHAT?! What do you mean ‘she’s gone’?” I said through gritted teeth in an angry tone that I believe scared the poor woman.
“She packed her bags and left.”
“Did she say where she was going?”
“No. She just said she had to leave.”
“FUCK!” I screamed and she flinched.
I stormed out of the kitchen and down the hall to Emerson’s room. Flinging open the door, I walked inside and looked around. The closet was empty, as were all her drawers. Lying on the bed was a sealed envelope with my name on it. I picked it up and sat down. Pulling out the letter, I unfolded it and a picture of the two of us fell to the ground. Picking it up and looking at it for a moment, I held it in my hand as I began to read the words she wrote.
My dearest Alex,
Two words come to mind as I’m sitting here writing this. Thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Never stay in one place too long, right? Spending the past months with you have been the most amazing time I’d ever had. I know you probably aren’t believing that, but they were. I was scared to come back, yet you managed to turn my fears into ashes. When I was with you, I didn’t think about anything else. You made me feel safe and secure and you gave your home to me. For that, I thank you. I told you things I had never told anyone because you made me feel comfortable and protected. I hadn’t felt that way in a very long time. You made me fall in love with you, Parker. Something no one has ever been able to do. You took care of me even when you didn’t realize it. You gave me hope for the future. Something I hadn’t had since the accident. There’s so much beauty in this world, even underneath all the despair and tragedies. I see that because of you. When you took me home, you gave me memories I didn’t think I had and I can’t even begin to thank you enough for that. I hope you can understand why I had to leave and why I couldn’t face you in person. Hell, I’m not sure I even understand, so if you don’t, it’s okay. You’ve forgiven me for things I’ve said and I hope you can forgive me for leaving. You’re not just another guy I left behind. You’re the man who stole my heart. I had the picture printed so you could have it and always remember me. I hope you don’t mind. If you don’t want it, throw it out. I wouldn’t blame you if you did. You’re my best friend, Alex Parker, and I love you. Make sure to take your medication every day and stay away from the saltshaker. Actually, that won’t be difficult at home because I threw them all out. But I trust that when you’re out and you see a saltshaker, you won’t touch it because you’ll hear my voice in your head. I’m looking out for you like you did me. Take care, Parker, and promise me you’ll never forget me.
Love forever,
Emerson
The air in the room became thick and it was difficult to breathe. She did love me and if I had only confessed my feelings for her, she might have stayed. I crumpled up the letter in my hand and tossed it on the bed. As I looked at the picture of the two of us in Napa, tears started to form in my eyes. I already missed her, and suddenly, my world fell apart.
As I wiped the tears from my eyes, my phone rang. It was Adam. Shit.
“Hello.”
“She’s gone again. Isn’t she?”
“Yes.”
“Damn it. I thought you were going to convince her to stay.” He sounded angry.
“I tried. Do you know where she would have gone?”
“How the fuck would I know? I never knew where she was until she called and told me.”
“How did you know she was gone?”
“She left a letter on my door. Apologizing and asking for forgiveness. But the thing is, I don’t think I can forgive her this time.”
“You can, Adam.”
“Can you, Alex?”
“Yes, because I love her.”
“If you hear from her, call me. I tried texting her, but my texts won’t go through.”
“I will.”
I ended the call and lay back on the bed, staring at the picture of us.
Chapter 32
Alex
I was still lying on Emerson’s bed when Jenna knocked on the door and slowly opened it.
“Excuse me, Mr. Parker.”
“What?!” I spoke in a stern voice.
“Umm. You need to come to the front door. A package arrived for you.”
“Just bring it here.”
“Are you sure?”
“Jenna, bring the goddamn package to me!” I yelled.
“Very well.”
A few moments later, she walked back in the bedroom and a look of shock splayed across my face.
“What the hell is that?” I asked as she held a puppy in her arms.
“This was the package at the front door.”
She set him down on the bed and he began to jump on me and lick my face.
“Oh my God. Get it out of here!”
She picked up the dog and handed me an envelope. “This was with it, sir.”
I took it from her hand and opened it, pulling out the white card inside.
“Alex,
I want you to meet Parker. In case you can’t tell, he’s a yellow Lab and he’s just a baby. Take good care of him for me. You need him as much as he needs you. Take him to the beach and play fetch with him. Teach him some tricks and talk to him. You need someone to love, Alex, and he won’t break your heart.
Love always,
Emerson.”
What the hell was she thinking? I looked up at Jenna, who was standing there petting the puppy.
“It’s from Emerson and his name is Parker.”
She laughed and I shot her a look.
“I guess we have a new houseguest, Jenna. You may place him on the bed.”
She set him down and, instantly, he ran over to me, licking my face and jumping all around. I took hold of his red collar with the dog-bone-shaped tag attached to it that read: Parker Parker. I couldn’t help but laugh because this was so Emerson.
****
I spent the next couple of weeks working from home and bonding with Parker. He was a cute little guy and I wasn’t even fond of dogs, especially when they shit in the house. We spent a lot of time on the beach and playing in the yard.
I missed Emerson so much and, every day that passed, it hurt more and more. I hadn’t shaven in a few days and I didn’t care. A feeling of hopelessness resided in me without her in my life. All I wanted was to hear her sweet voice and hold her in my arms once again. She changed me, my life, and my world. And my world was nothing without her in it.