“Anonymous letters to the police?” said Mr. Unwin. “And in English?”
“First one. Then there were others.”
“In English?”
“Oh, in English. They’d got the schoolmaster to translate them.”
“Not even to my worst enemy—” Mr. Unwin began.
“No, I’m sure of that. But if I have inspired hatred, then I’ve failed. Some of the letters came to me. I never spoke of them. When there was no reaction then — I suppose it must have been interesting to try the police.”
“Those you had — were they by hand?” said Mr. Unwin. “Let me see one. I shan’t read it.”
“I’m sorry, I’ve destroyed them.”
Carmela looked across at the houses on which work had been suspended for more than a year — a monument to Mr. Unwin’s qualifications as an investor of funds, she now understood; behind them was the sea that no longer could frighten her. She let a spoonful of pistachio melt in her mouth and swallowed regretfully.
“Of course you know the story,” said Mr. Unwin. “You have heard the gossip.”
“I don’t listen to gossip,” said the clergyman. They had no use for each other, and might never meet again. Carmela sensed that, if Mr. Unwin did not. “Nothing needs to be explained. What matters is, how we all come out of it. I’ve been told I may leave. My instructions are to leave. Hang them. They can intern me or do whatever they like. I won’t have them believing that we can be bullied.”
Mr. Unwin was speaking quietly; their words overlapped. He was going to explain, even if it was to no purpose now, whether the clergyman had any use for him or not. “… When we did finally marry we were so far apart that she hardly had a claim. I made her see a neurologist. He asked her if she was afraid of me.” The lines of age around his eyes made him seem furtive. He had the look of someone impartial, but stubborn, too. “Having children was supposed to be good. To remove the guilt. To make her live in the present.” They had come here, where there was a famous clinic and an excellent doctor — poor Dr. Chaffee. Gone now. Between her second breakdown and the birth of the twins, somewhere in that cleared-out period, they married. The Church of England did not always allow it. Old Ted Stonehouse had been lenient. For years they’d had nothing but holidays, a holiday life, always with the puritan belief that they would have to pay up. They had paid, he assured the younger man, for a look at their past — a wrecked past, a crippling accident. At times, he could see the debris along the road — a woman’s shoe, a charred map. And they married, and had the twins, and the holiday came to an end. And she was beginning to be odd, cruel, drinking stuff out of teacups. She kept away from the babies. Was afraid of herself. Knew she was cruel. Cruel to her own great-uncle. Never once looked at his grave. Mr. Unwin had been to the grave not long ago, had stung his hands on nettles.
“Oh, I’d never weed a grave,” said the clergyman. “I am like that, too.”
“Well, Padre, we choose our lives,” said Mr. Unwin. “I gave up believing in mine.”
“Forget about believing in your life,” said the younger man. “Think about the sacraments — whether you believe in them or not. You might arrive in a roundabout way. Do you see?”
“Arrive where?” said Mr. Unwin. “Arrive at what? I never get up in the morning without forcing myself to get out of bed, and without tears in my eyes. I have had to stop shaving sometimes because I could not see for tears. I’ve watched the sun rising through the tears of a child left in his first school. If ever I had taken a day in bed nothing would have made me get up again. Not my children, not my life, not my country. How I have envied Carmela, here — hearing her singing at her work.”
“Well, and how about you, Carmela?” said the clergyman, quite glad to turn his attention to her, it seemed.
Carmela put her spoon down and said simply, “I have just eaten my way into Heaven.”
“Then I haven’t entirely failed,” the clergyman said.
Mr. Unwin laughed, then blew his nose. “Let me give you a lift, Padre,” he said. “Think twice about staying. If I were you I would get on that coal boat with the others.”
They left Carmela at what they both seemed to think was a bus stop. Mr. Unwin set her case down and pressed money into her hand without counting it, as he had done last August.
“The children will miss you,” he said, which must have been the Unwins’ way of saying good-bye.
As soon as the car was out of sight she began to walk. There was a bus, but it was not here that it stopped for passengers. In any case it would not be along until late afternoon, and it did not go as far as Castel Vittorio. Within half an hour she was in a different landscape — isolated, lonely, and densely green. A farmer gave her a ride on a cart as far as Dolceacqua. She passed a stucco hotel where people sometimes came up from the coast in August to get away from the heat. It was boarded up like the villas she had left behind. After Dolceacqua she had to walk again. The villages along the valley were just as they’d been a year ago. She had forgotten about them. She did not want to lose the taste of the ices, but all she had kept was the look of them — the pink-orange, the pale green, the white with flecks of vanilla, like pepper. She shifted her cardboard suitcase with its rope strap from hand to hand. It was not heavy but cumbersome; certainly much lighter than one of the twins. Sometimes she stopped and crouched beside it in a position of repose she had also forgotten but now assumed naturally. This was a warm clear June day, with towering clouds that seemed like cream piled on a glass plate. She looked up through invisible glass to a fantastic tower of cream. The palms of the coast had given way to scrub and vineyards, then to oaks and beeches and Spanish chestnut trees in flower. She remembered the two men and their strange conversation; they were already the far past. A closer memory was the schoolhouse, and Dr. Barnes and Mussolini and the King in wooden frames. Mr. Unwin weeping at sunrise had never been vivid. He faded first. His tears died with him. The clergyman blushed like a girl and wished Mr. Unwin would stop talking. Both then were lost behind Dr. Chaffee in his dark suit stumbling up the hill. He lifted his hand. What she retained, for the present, was one smile, one gesture, one man’s calm blessing.
THE FENTON CHILD
I
In a long room filled with cots and undesired infants, Nora Abbott had her first sight of Neil, who belonged to Mr. and Mrs. Boyd Fenton. The child was three months old but weedy for his age, with the face of an old man who has lost touch with his surroundings. The coarse, worn, oversized gown and socks the nuns had got him up in looked none too fresh. Four large safety pins held in place a chafing and voluminous diaper. His bedding — the whole nursery, in fact — smelled of ammonia and carbolic soap and in some way of distress.
Nora was seventeen and still did not know whether she liked children or saw them as part of a Catholic woman’s fate. If they had to come along, then let them be clear-eyed and talcum-scented, affectionate and quick to learn. The eyes of the Fenton baby were opaquely gray, so rigidly focused that she said to herself, He is blind. They never warned me. But as she bent close, wondering if his gaze might alter, the combs at her temples slipped loose and she saw him take notice of the waves of dark hair that fell and enclosed him. So, he perceived things. For the rest, he remained as before, as still as a doll, with both hands folded tight.