Barbara felt that they were leaving her; she put the blame on Molly, who had the makings of a prude, and who, at worst, might turn out to be something like Alec’s sister. Barbara said to Molly, “I had three children before I was twenty-three, and I was alone, and there were all the air raids. The life I’ve tried to give you and the boys has been so different, so happy, so free.” Molly folded her arms, looked down at her shoes. Her height, her grave expression, her new figure gave her a bogus air of maturity: She was only thirteen, and she felt like a pony flicked by a crop. Barbara tried to draw near: “My closest friend is my own daughter,” she wanted to be able to say. “I never do a thing without talking it over with Molly.” So she would have said, laughing, her bright head against Molly’s darker hair, if only Molly had given half an inch.
“What a cold creature you are,” Barbara said, sadly. “You live in an ice palace. There is so little happiness in life unless you let it come near. I always at least had an idea about being happy.” The girl’s face stayed shut and locked. All that could cross it now was disappointment.
One night when Molly woke Will, he said, “I don’t care where she is.” Molly went back to bed. Fetching Barbara had become a habit. She was better off in her room alone.
When they stopped coming to claim her, Barbara perceived it as mortification. She gave up on Molly, for the moment, and turned to the boys, sat curled on the foot of their bed, sipping wine, telling stories, offering to share her cigarette, though James was still twelve. James said, “He told us it was dangerous to smoke in bed. People have died that way.” “He” meant Alec. Was this all James would remember? That he had warned about smoking in bed?
James, who was embarrassed by this attempt of hers at making them equals, thought she had an odd smell, like a cat. To Will, at another kind of remove, she stank of folly. They stared at her, as if measuring everything she still had to mean in their lives. This expression she read as she could. Love for Wilkinson had blotted out the last of her dreams and erased her gift of second sight. She said unhappily to Wilkinson, “My children are prigs. But, then, they are only half mine.”
Mademoiselle, whom the children now called by her name — Geneviève — still came to Lou Mas. Nobody paid her, but she corrected the children’s French, which no longer needed correcting, and tried to help with their homework, which amounted to interference. They had always in some way spared her; only James, her favorite, sometimes said, “No, I’d rather work alone.” She knew now that the Webbs were poor, which increased her affection: Their descent to low water equaled her own. Sometimes she brought a packet of biscuits for their tea, which was a dull affair now the cook had gone. They ate the biscuits straight from the paper wrapping: Nobody wanted to wash an extra plate. Wilkinson, playing at British something, asked about her aunt. He said “Madame la Comtesse.” When he had gone, she cautioned the children not to say that but simply “your aunt.” But as Geneviève’s aunt did not receive foreigners, save for a few such as Mrs. Massie, they had no reason to ask how she was. When Geneviève realized from something said that Wilkinson more or less lived at Lou Mas, she stopped coming to see them. The Webbs had no further connection with Rivabella then except for their link with the hospital, where Alec still lay quietly, still alive.
Barbara went up every day. She asked the doctor, “Shouldn’t he be having blood transfusions — something of that kind?” She had never been in a hospital except to be born and to have her children. She was remembering films she had seen: bottles dripping liquids, needles taped to the crook of an arm, nursing sisters wheeling oxygen tanks down white halls.
The doctor reminded her that this was Rivabella — a small town where half the population lived without employment. He had been so sympathetic at first, so slow to present a bill. She could not understand what had changed him; but she was hopeless at reading faces now. She could scarcely read her children’s.
She bent down to Alec, so near that her eyes would have seemed enormous had he been paying attention. She told him the name of the scent she was wearing; it reminded her and perhaps Alec, too, of jasmine. Eric had brought it back from a dinner at Monte Carlo, given to promote this very perfume. He was often invited to these things, where he represented the best sort of Britishness. “Eric is being the greatest help,” she said to Alec, who might have been listening. She added, for it had to be said sometime, “Eric has very kindly offered to stay at Lou Mas.”
Mr. Cranefield and Mrs. Massie continued to plod up the hill, she with increasing difficulty. They brought Alec what they thought he needed. But he had no addictions, no cravings, no use for anything now but his destination. The children were sent up evenings. They never knew what to say or what he could hear. They talked as if they were still eleven or twelve, when Alec had stopped seeing them grow.
To Mr. Cranefield they looked like imitations of English children — loud, humorless, dutiful, clear. “James couldn’t come with us tonight,” said Molly. “He was quite ill, for some reason. He brought his dinner up.” All three spoke the high, thin English of expatriate children who, unknowingly, mimic their mothers. The lightbulb hanging crooked left Alec’s face in shadow. When the children had kissed Alec and departed, Mr. Cranefield could hear them taking the hospital stairs headlong, at a gallop. The children were young and alive, and Alec was forty-something and nearly always sleeping. Unequal chances, Mr. Cranefield thought. They can’t really beat their breasts about it. When Mrs. Massie was present, she never failed to say, “Your father is tired,” though nobody knew if Alec was tired or not.
The neighbors pitied the children. Meaning only kindness, Mr. Cranefield reminded Molly that one day she would type, Mrs. Massie said something more about helping in the garden. That was how everyone saw them now — grubbing, digging, lending a hand. They had become Wilkinson’s secondhand kin but without his panache, his ease in adversity. They were Alec’s offspring: stiff. Humiliated, they overheard and garnered for memory: “We’ve asked Wilkinson to come over and cook up a curry. He’s hours in the kitchen, but I must say it’s worth every penny.” “We might get Wilkinson to drive us to Rome. He doesn’t charge all that much, and he’s such good company.” Always Wilkinson, never Eric, though that was what Barbara had called him from their first meeting. To the children he was, and remained, “Mr. Wilkinson,” friend of both parents, occasional guest in the house.
The rains of their third southern spring were still driving hard against the villa when Barbara’s engineer brother wrote to say they were letting Lou Mas. Everything dripped wet as she stood near a window, with bougainvillea soaked and wild-looking on one side of the pane and steam forming on the other, to read this letter. The new tenants were a family of planters who had been forced to leave Malaya; it had a connection with political events, but Barbara’s life was so full now that she never looked at the papers. They would be coming there in June, which gave Barbara plenty of time to find another home. He — her brother — had thought of giving her the Lou Mas cottage, but he wondered if it would suit her, inasmuch as it lacked electric light, running water, an indoor lavatory, most of its windows, and part of its roof. This was not to say it could not be fixed up for the Webbs in the future, when Lou Mas had started paying for itself. Half the rent obtained would be turned over to Barbara. She would have to look hard, he said, before finding brothers who were so considerate of a married sister. She and the children were not likely to suffer from the change, which might even turn out to their moral advantage. Barbara supposed this meant that Desmond — the richest, the best-educated, the most easily flabbergasted of her brothers — was still mulling over the description of Lou Mas Ron must have taken back.