A marvelous energy pervaded my limbs. I fell rapturously in love with life, disregarding its beating chaos all around us. All this prompted me to lease an apartment for which I paid a sizeable deposit. Inviting me for breakfast, my uncle told me, “This is how things are going these days.”
I believed there was no security for any living being without work and money — and the most fortuitous thing that we gain in our world is a dependable future. I maintained my moderation as best I could; the only new things in my life were cigarettes, fatty meats, and oriental sweets. My sons and daughters graduated from foreign language schools, and with the passing days only the best things came to me. Amidst all this delicious abundance, one night my dream returned for the third time. The man warned me against forgetfulness, as he had before. I saw him just as I did the two previous times, or so it seemed: the man was the same man, and the words were the same words.
Astonished, I did not take it lightly. Unfortunately, the shaykh was not at hand to discuss it with me. Being so absorbed in business, I had stopped seeing him briefly, while I hated to visit him for any purpose other than just to say hello. Still, a feeling of unease assailed me, pervading all I did.
Suffering from it harshly, my wife scolded me, “Goodness comes from God, and evil from ourselves.”
“What is it but a dream?” I said to her dismissively.
“I don’t see you forgetting anything,” she replied.
Yet I could not escape the hold of the amazing vision upon me. It was always chasing me, occupying my mind. Under its sway, I rushed from the sidewalk to cross the street, without paying attention to the traffic going by. Suddenly, without any warning, I found myself in front of a car that could not brake in time. Striking me, it threw me through the air like a ball. I lost consciousness completely, until I awoke in the hospital, where I learned there was no hope for my recovery at all.
Looking back with pity and sadness, the shaykh later told us:
He was taken to hospital under the dark clouds of death. There he underwent a desperate operation, while the investigation and the testimony of the eyewitnesses all confirmed that he had run into the road as if wanting to end his own life. The car’s driver, therefore, was innocent of any fault. I sat next to my nephew’s bed, knowing there was no chance that he would survive, when the driver arrived in humble consolation, offering to render what assistance he could. He stayed for a while, then left on his own.
When he had gone, my nephew’s eyelids fluttered, and I saw a familiar look on his face. I bent my head down close to his mouth.
“That’s the man,” he muttered faintly, “the man in the dream!”
Those were the last words ever to leave his lips.
Beyond the Clouds
I fight my way through life — and it fights back. It’s the same way today that it will be tomorrow. From the boons of fortune, all I’ve gained has been the making of a family and the begetting of children. Then, as I’ve grown too weak to make them happy, I can no longer make myself happy either. If my own agony was not so uniquely like that of my country, then I would think only of myself, and not of my country. Instead, I have found that my family reflects totally the situation in the country, and that the country exactly mirrors the condition of my family. Both of them suffer from overpopulation, a shortage of resources, an imbalance between income and expenses, ever-increasing debt, and a bleak future. Yet I’ve never sought to hide the reality of our situation, nor promised to do anything beyond my power to perform. Due to my inability to improve my own condition, along with my impotence to help the nation generally, frustration has turned my hair white before its time. I have found nothing to help me escape into the solace of solitude except for one thing — dreaming.
Yes, dreaming is what hews a new path for me; it brings me all I could possibly crave. With the fullness of health, strength, and human intimacy, dreaming lifts me up to a new world entirely — one of exalted truth and perfect justice. Through dreaming I climb dazzlingly into the world of the Unseen. But sometime during the heat of battle between fact and imagination, the night of misery lengthened as I huddled beneath the bedcovers, all of my limbs trembling uncontrollably. My wife became worried, urging me to take more than one prescription of medicine. Still I longed for sleep, with all its powers to save me from distress and torment. Yet I could neither sleep nor ease the growing agitation that shook me so profoundly. Then, a surprise — and what a surprise! I rose like a bird, flying with calmness and dignity through the air of the room. I could not help thinking of all that I had heard about delirium and fever. I looked and saw my body prone on the bed; all were watching it with streaming tears. This had to be a fever, no doubt about that. All the motion and sounds that surged through the room had no meaning at all to me. I urged them to take hold of themselves, to calm down and keep quiet — but they did not hear. I observed them with complete placidity. Then my interest in them and what they were doing began to decline, and slowly, slowly to disappear. Their image began to sink into the depths, fading away until it had vanished completely. A long corridor stretched before me, whose floor and walls were covered in mist, and from whose distant end loomed the purest light. I walked through it with heavy, stumbling steps, staggering at times, longing for some sense of security. Finally, at the source of the light, my father and mother appeared to me. They stared at me with affection as I rushed toward them, my fears diminishing. Then I remembered the hurdle of death that stood between us. I halted in caution, whispering to them as though in excuse, “Maybe I’m dreaming!”
I heard their two voices as though they were one, “But now you are waking.”
They came toward me, arm in arm, wearing clothes made of clouds.
“Wake up! You have become one of us, with nothing standing between us.”
Dreams don’t have this kind of clarity, I said to myself. Then I whispered, “Yes, I’m completely awake.”
“That is good,” they replied.
“Yet I feel that a dreadful nightmare is going on inside me.”
“That will disperse once you have purged yourself of your sins.”
“You will help me …,” I said wishfully.
They answered as one, “Our mission here has ended. Rely upon yourself.”
In a flashing instant, they were gone. No sooner had they disappeared, than I found myself in my new world.
A new world indeed, which I have not the words to describe. A place, and yet not a place. Light, but yet not really light. Colors, yet not like any that I had known. Trees, but not actual trees. Houses that were not houses at all. Ground and sky shrouded in clouds, spreading outward without any bounds. Even the houses were made of clouds, ranged in even rows with vast spaces between them. The trees towered very high, resplendent in wholly unfamiliar shades of a deeply stirring kind. A steady, soothing light — neither dusk nor twilight — pervaded all. For a moment I imagined that I was alone in an existence that had no clear end. Yet the feeling of loneliness did not weigh heavily upon me, nor did it last long. For this existence that surrounded me was itself pulsing with hidden life. It was also alive and intelligent, regarding me with interest, as though wondering what I was going to do next. And within the homes were living beings absorbed in their own affairs. Their cries of “Glory to God” somehow reached my inner sense of hearing. Should I knock on one of those doors to ask for guidance from those inside? Yet, if even my own parents had abandoned me, then what could I expect from strangers? But where could I start, and where would I go?