I went to my room still feeling dazed. I shouldn’t have listened.
Listeners rarely hear any good of themselves. How many times had I heard that?
Bella came and rubbed herself against my legs. The kitten I had kept was playing with the blind cord. I thought of that day on the tower and how the balustrade had crumbled . and then I thought of the occasion when I believed I had been followed up there; and I heard a voice ringing in my ears, Stirling’s voice: “I’ll find a way.”
“No,” I said, ‘that’s stupid. He didn’t mean that. ” But how did I know what he meant? What did I know of him—or rather what had I known before a short while ago? At least now I knew that he had married me because of some vow to own Whiteladies. I knew that he was capable of deceit, that he had pretended to love me when what he wanted was the house. I knew that he loved another woman and that he was planning in some way to end his marriage with me in order to marry her.
How? I asked myself; and some horrible voice within me said; “It almost happened in the tower. There was the balustrade … and that other occasion.” I tried not to think of his creeping stealthily up the stairs, seizing me from behind and throwing me over the tower.
That was fancy. Fancy!
Hadn’t I heard a movement? Hadn’t I sensed evil? Nora had saved me once. At least she was not in the plot . if plot there was. But I couldn’t believe that of Stirling.
My head was throbbing and I could not think clearly. I don’t know why I went to Lizzie’s room, but I did.
“Are you all right. Miss Minta?” she asked.
“I have a headache.”
“Sometimes women get them in your condition.”
“Tell me about that artist who came to teach my mother drawing.”
“Mr. Charles Herrick,” she said slowly.
“And now you’re Mrs. Herrick and there’s another Mrs. Herrick at Mercer’s. And soon another little Herrick will come into the world.”
“What was he like?”
“Like your Mr. Herrick but different. I never saw anyone quite like him. He stood out and above everyone else. You’d have thought he owned the place. Your mother worshipped him.”
“And you too, Lizzie.”
Yes,” she admitted.
“And he wasn’t averse. I might tell you.”
“He loved my mother.”
“He loved her for what she stood for. He was proud and poor and he saw himself as lord of the house.”
“And then?”
“There were ructions.
“Get out,” he was told and he went, but he came back for your mother. They were going to elope. ” Lizzie started to laugh.
“He came up by the ladder. She was ready to go with him. She gave him her jewels. She had some valuable pieces. He put them into his pocket and then … they burst into the room and caught him … and that was the last we saw of him.”
“Somebody warned them.”
“Yes,” she said slyly.
“It was you. Lizzie, wasn’t it?”
Her face puckered.
“You know!” She cried.
“Your mother knew. I told her on the night she died. The shock killed her. She would never have forgiven me if she’d lived. She raged at me. She said that but for me her whole life would have been different. She’d have gone away with him; he’d never have gone to Australia.”
“But he went and he made a vow and because of that. Lizzie, because of you …”
I walked out of the room, leaving her staring blankly before her. I was bewildered, still not knowing how to act I couldn’t go down to luncheon because I couldn’t face anyone. Lucie came up to my room.
“Minta, what’s wrong?”
I feel ill, Lucie. “
“My dear, you’re trembling. Ill get a hot-water bottle.”
“No, Lucie. Just sit by the bed and talk to me.”
She sat down and I started to talk. In whom could I confide who would be more sympathetic than Lucie, who for so many years had been closer than my own mother? I told her what I had overheard in the minstrels’ gallery.
“You see, Lucie, he loves Nora. He married me for Whiteladies.”
Lude was thoughtful for some moments; then she said:
“Nora is going back to Australia. You and Stirling will make a life for yourselves. It will be a compromise, but marriage often is.”
“No,” I said.
“He loves her and won’t be able to forget her. There’s a great bond between them—it’s part hate and part love, or so it seemed, for Nora sounded as though she hated him and loved him at the same time. She hated him because he’d hurt her by marrying me. I’ve been lying here trying to think of something I can do.”
“Minta, my dearest child, the best thing you can do is nothing. This sort of thing has happened before. Stirling is married to you. You are going to have his child. Nora will go to Australia. You’ll be surprised. In a few years’ time he will have forgotten her and so will you.”
“He won’t let her go,” I insisted.
“He said so.”
“Impulsive talk. He has no say and Nora is a wise woman of the world.
She knows that nothing can be done. You are his wife. When she goes away he may fret for a while but time heals everything. Hell be reconciled. You have a great deal to offer him, Minta. “
“No, no. I’ve been trying to think of what I should do. I even thought of going away.”
Where to? “
“I can’t think where.”
“You are not being practical. You’ll stay here and I'll be at hand to look after you.”
“But [ did think of going … somewhere. I even started to write a letter to him.”
She went over to my desk and picked up a sheet of paper. On it I had written:
“Dear Stirling, I was in the minstrels’ gallery when you and Nora were talking so I know that you love her and there seems only one thing to do. I must stand aside …”
I had got no farther, having paused there to wonder what I could do.
Angrily, Lucie threw it into the wastepaper basket. Then she came back to the bed.
“You are overwrought,” she said.
“I am going to take care of you and I promise you that in time all this will seem nothing to you. He couldn’t have been so much in love with Nora or he would never have married you.”
“You’re a great comfort, Lucie, but …”
“You trust me. Now you’re to stay in bed for the rest of the day, then you won’t have to face anybody. I’ll go along to Dr. Hunter and tell him to come and have a look at you, shall I?”
“Dr. Hunter can’t help over this.”
“Yes, he can. He can give you something to make you sleep and that’s what you need really. I’ll tell everyone you’re resting today. You haven’t been yourself since that fall in the tower.”
I shivered. I couldn’t tell even Lucie of the horrible suspicion that had come to me. But merely talking to Lucie had made me feel better.
She went out and left me, and I lay still, trying to believe what she had told me and failing wretchedly.
I stayed in bed for the rest of the day. Lucie brought supper for me on a tray, but I couldn’t touch the roast chicken nor the cheese and fruit. She had been to Dr. Hunter’s, but he was out on a case and that stupid Mrs. Devlin had seemed as though she had been drinking. However, she had left a message for him to come and see me in the-morning. I could have one of the pills he had given me at the time of my fall.
Lucie would have some milk sent up for me to take with it.
“Won’t you try and eat something?” she asked.
“I couldn’t, Lucie.”
About nine o’clock she sent Lizzie up with some hot milk and biscuits.
Lizzie looked subdued and this clearly had something to do with her outburst earlier that day. I couldn’t feel the same about Lizzie any more. Her action had had such a tremendous impact on all our lives. I looked distastefully at the milk and turned away, so Lizzie put it on my bedside table.