Hades turned and strode up to Philonecron, who was writhing, legless, on his litter. He grinned, flipped his scepter, and proclaimed cheerfully, "Works on clay!"
CHAPTER 27
THE LORD OF THE DEAD STOOD TOWERING OVER THE prone form of Philonecron, who was twisting in agony on his litter. Charlotte and Zee-who were covered in grime and smoke and dust and blood, who were panting and sweating and trembling, who were exhausted and exhilarated- stood in the background, shoulder to shoulder, and watched Hades savor the moment.
"Stop whining," Hades spit. "Your legs will regenerate."
"That's right, they will!" Philonecron looked up threateningly and raised his fist in the air. It really wasn't very intimidating. "I'll have my legs. I still have my Footmen. They will serve me until the end. There are seven Footmen-"
"Five, actually," Zee muttered.
Charlotte shot him an impressed look. Zee shrugged modestly.
"Ah, but Philonecron," Hades interjected, "this is the end. I will find your Footmen, do not worry about that." He flipped his scepter again. "And as for you…" He snapped his fingers in the air, and two Griffins came soaring in from the horizon. (Fat lot of help they were, Charlotte thought.) Hades beckoned them to him. "Now," he continued, pacing back and forth in front of the litter, "whatever shall we do with you? I banished you once to the Outer Banks, but that was clearly too good for you. Hmmm. I think I have an idea. Philonecron, Assistant Manager of Sanitation, I banish you to the Upperworld -"
"No," Philonecron shrieked. "No! I'll never survive."
"That is not my concern."
"I can't breathe up there," Philonecron protested. "And everyone wears polyester!"
Charlotte and Zee exchanged a look. They weren't ecstatic about the idea of Philonecron in the Upperworld. But Hades didn't seem to notice.
Hades continued, "You are banished to the Upperworld, Philonecron. You may never set f-you may never enter the Underworld again. Griffins?" He held his hand up. "Take him away."
With that, the two Griffins swooped down, claws at the ready, grasped Philonecron-one by the neck and one by the bottom-and proceeded to fly away. The air reverberated with Philonecron's cries. "Nooooo!" Charlotte and Zee heard. And then, just as the trio was fading off in the distance, a cry shot out, "Zerrrrooooo!"
Hades, looking extremely pleased with himself, turned his attention to the cousins.
"That should take care of him," he said. He nodded at Charlotte. "That was very impressive, with the chair. You are quite resourceful."
Charlotte blushed. Hades might be creepy, but he was a Greek god, and they probably didn't give compliments lightly.
"And," he said, turning to Zee, "Zachary John Miller, your timing is excellent, as was your leadership."
Zee muttered to Charlotte, "How does he know my name?"
"Don't ask," Charlotte whispered back.
"Now, I thank you both for what you have done for my Kingdom." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, round red object, which he offered to them. "Pomegranate?"
Quickly Charlotte and Zee shook their heads. "Worth a try. Well, you will find the door open for you on the way out. I shall see you again."
At this Charlotte and Zee shuddered, and before they could say anything else, the Lord of the Dead turned and walked away, calling, "Has anyone seen my wife?"
The cousins stood among the ruins of the Palace of Hades. More Griffins began to sweep through the air, and the Immortal residents of the Palace were beginning to emerge from the distance. Charlotte looked at Zee, and Zee looked at Charlotte.
"Let's go home," Charlotte said quietly. "Let's go home."
There were so many questions to ask, so much to discuss. Worlds had moved since Charlotte and Zee had last seen each other. They'd enchanted shadows, met the Lord of the Dead, seen a Palace fall, escaped from Footmen (twice), led an army, outwitted an evil genius, saved the world, saved each other. They should have been chattering away, their voices should have overlapped each other as they tried to tell their stories, their exuberance should have carried them up into the skies. But as they walked back through the Underworld, Charlotte and Zee were strangely quiet.
Behind them Immortals were filing (and slithering) back into the City, putting out fires, climbing around rubble, cleaning up. And in front of them-really, everywhere around them- the Dead were beginning to fill in the landscape again, and soon the air was crowded with them. Eerie and beautiful, silent and cramped, nervous and bored, the Dead reemerged to take their places in their perpetual sea of rocky dullness.
Charlotte whispered, "It's hard to feel really good about helping Hades, you know?"
Zee nodded as if he had been thinking the same thing. "I guess we helped them, though. Out here is a lot better than in there." He gestured toward the steaming structure on the horizon.
Charlotte started chewing on her lip. "I know, but… I thought maybe he'd ask us, you know, if there was something he could do for us. And we could, like, tell him to build a city for the Dead. Or something. And he would have been like, 'Okay.' And it all would have been better. We could have helped them all."
Zee nodded slowly.
"But he didn't ask," Charlotte continued. "He didn't. And I didn't say anything. We had him right there, and I didn't say anything."
Zee turned to her and put his hand on her arm. "He wouldn't have listened anyway, Charlotte. You know that."
The Dead, drawn to these two walking memories of Life, crowded, clamored, and clustered, but just as Charlotte began to wonder how they would get through, the great crowd in front of them split in two, marking a path for the cousins to walk.
The cousins stopped short.
"Oh," said Charlotte.
"Oh," said Zee.
They could see their path all the way to the Styx, but on either side of the path stood countless bodies of light, all stopped to watch them pass, an ethereal, glowing honor guard making way.
Eyes filling, they grabbed hands and began to walk on, through the watchful Dead.
"You know," Zee said, smiling a little, "there aren't any Dead on the Outer Banks anymore. The shadows built a bridge over the Styx to get across, and all of the Dead just poured over the bridge. All of them!"
"Wow!"
"Yeah."
"Charon's going to be real pleased about that!" Charlotte said.
Zee grinned. "When he wakes up. One of the Footmen clunked him on the head."
"Oh!" Charlotte thought that sounded like a good idea. She should have tried it herself instead of giving up a month's allowance and her Fruit Roll-Ups. "Hey, is that how you got across? The bridge?"
"Yeah. He didn't bother to take it down. Mr. Metos said-"
Charlotte stopped. "Mr. Metos!" Blushing, she realized she'd forgotten all about him.
"He's okay," Zee said. "We got him down. He's in a bad way, but he's resting, and-"
"We?"
Zee smiled. "Philonecron left a few shadows behind. And you'll never guess who showed me where they were." Charlotte shook her head. "Who?"
"Mew"
"What?"
And then they began to tell their stories. Zee told Charlotte about enchanting the shadows, about the vast army he created, about Philonecron putting him to rest in his cave, about the two Footmen standing guard, about his surprise visitor, about the secret lab and the discarded shadows, about the Footmen's violent end, about getting down Mr. Metos, about running as fast as he could all the way to the Palace, about feeling Philonecron's voice inside his head, about losing his will, and about hearing his cousin's voice, clear as day, yelling to save him, and finally believing they might get through this.
And Charlotte told Zee about fighting the Footman, about pushing him in the Styx, about Charon and Cerberus, about the vampire demon and the park, about the City and the Palace, about trying to convince Hades to act, about dodging blasts of fire, about Philonecron and his litter, about the shadows coming and the fires starting, about her accidental discovery, about commanding the shadows, about their swarming toward her, and about hearing her cousin's voice, clear as day, and finally believing they might get through this.