He knew that all right. ‘And survive we have.’ He gestured at their austere surroundings. ‘And look how well we’ve done for ourselves.’
‘Still can’t stand to think of anyone but yourself, can you? I thought you might have changed, that you might embrace a chance of redemption.’
That made Merrick smile. ‘Have you ever considered I might not want redemption? Not everyone is plagued by guilt, Kaira.’
‘Keep telling yourself that.’
She fixed him with a glare that spoke accusation, judgement and condemnation all at once.
Fuck off, would have been his natural response. Take your judgement and stick it right up your pious arse!
But of course he didn’t say that. Not because he respected her. Not because she might well be able to kick him from one side of the city to the other in her bare feet. It was because she was right.
There were a lot of things Merrick Ryder hated: his father, the Guild, authority, an empty wine jug and no coin. But they all paled into insignificance next to the loathing he felt for himself; for the money he had squandered; for the talent and opportunities wasted. Now he had a chance of salvation and all he did was treat it with the usual disdain.
What an utter cunt you are, Ryder.
Before he could begin to argue, begin to tell her that he had changed, young Leofric was at the door.
‘Captain Garret wants to see you both,’ said the lad.
Merrick looked to Kaira but she only shrugged.
‘What for?’ asked Merrick.
‘He didn’t say, and I didn’t ask,’ Leofric replied.
It was obvious the young recruit didn’t like him, but Merrick could live with that. The lad was about as interesting as your average provincial pig farmer, so no great loss there.
‘We’d best be off then,’ Merrick said, standing and straightening his tunic.
His feigned attempt at decorum was met with a silence that continued all the way to Garret, who sat in his courtyard, drinking his tea. Two other Sentinels stood to attention beside the captain and when Merrick drew closer he recognised Waldin and Statton.
As Merrick and Kaira reached him, Garret placed his cup down and regarded them with an appraising eye. ‘I have a task for you all.’
For the briefest of moments Merrick was reminded of a warehouse he had once been bundled into. One where he’d been given another task by Friedrik and Bastian. A task that had almost seen him sell a thousand souls into slavery and ended with him almost being killed. He couldn’t wait to learn of this one.
‘It requires my best swords and it’s the most important job in the realm,’ Garret continued. ‘Could well be the most dangerous too.’ He paused, looking at the four of them. It was obvious he was waiting for them to question him, to ask what in the hells could be so perilous. Merrick knew Kaira would say nothing — she’d have jumped from the top of the Tower of Magisters without question, if Garret had ordered her. Waldin and Statton weren’t about to speak either and Merrick was damned if he’d make an arse of himself and be the one to open his mouth.
‘Our queen requires a guard of the body. A permanent guard to watch over her night and day. Wherever she goes, there you will be. I don’t think I need to stress how important this is.’
‘No, Captain,’ Kaira said, before Merrick could even think to complain. ‘It would be an honour.’
Gods, why didn’t she just bend down and kiss his arse while she was at it.
Statton and Waldin also made noises of assent, only too eager to volunteer.
‘And you?’ Garret asked, looking at Merrick, who had remained conspicuously silent.
He smiled back. ‘I live to serve.’
Garret didn’t seem to see the funny side. ‘On two occasions assassins have breached the walls of Skyhelm and tried to murder our queen. Chances are there’ll be more attempts. Chances are you’ll be called on to offer your lives for her. If you’re not up to it, Ryder, say so now and I’ll put someone else in your place.’
All of a sudden this was real. Until now Garret had tolerated Merrick’s blithe attitude due to his skill with a blade and the debt Garret thought he owed the Ryder family, but now all that was forgotten. Things were suddenly serious.
And perhaps this was the chance Merrick had been waiting for.
‘Of course I’m up to it,’ he replied, perhaps with a little too much edge.
Garret frowned. ‘Don’t fuck this up, Ryder. It’s your chance to make something of yourself.’ The captain stood up and drained the rest of the tea. ‘Come with me,’ he said. The four Sentinels followed him across the courtyard and through the doors that led into the palace proper.
As a child, Merrick had walked these halls with his father, Tannick. He had shown him the hallowed seat of power within the Free States, explained to him the responsibilities he bore in protecting the king who sat upon it. Merrick had listened intently, awestruck at the majesty of the building, had even hoped he might one day follow in his father’s footsteps.
As a man, Merrick was still struck by the splendour of the place, but there was now an edge of resentment. Remembering his father only evoked bitterness, even made a part of him hate this place. The old man had managed to ruin this, even though he’d been gone for most of Merrick’s life.
They reached the massive throne room, the Sentinels standing aside as Garret approached. Merrick could see her there on that stone throne. Though he’d patrolled the palace scores of times he’d never been presented to the woman for whom he might have to give his life.
At first glance, Janessa looked every inch the queen; the crown sitting comfortably on her head, her expression composed, regal. But there was still vulnerability there. Was it her youth, or perhaps her beauty, that instantly made Merrick want to protect her? Maybe it was a growing sense of duty.
Ha! Duty? Who are you trying to kid, Ryder? Since when has that meant anything to you. You’ll fuck this up like you do everything else.
Merrick tried to put any doubt behind him. He had to make an effort. Had to rise to this challenge. For once. So far he’d treated the Sentinels like he treated everything else — as an inconvenience. Now he had a chance to do something of value. To make amends, achieve something his mother would have been proud of. This was no time to let old doubts undermine him.
Garret stopped before Janessa, dropping to his knee and bowing his head. The four Sentinels did likewise, waiting for her to address them.
‘Captain Garret, to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?’ said the queen.
Her voice was kind and lacked authority. It was then Merrick could see through any façade she might have been trying to create. She was just a girl sitting on that throne. Not a real queen. Not a leader of men. Just a girl thrown in the river and told to swim. Merrick knew only too well how that felt.
‘Majesty,’ said Garret rising gingerly as his old joints protested. ‘Please allow me to present my four best swords. Statton, Waldin, Merrick and Kaira. Each has volunteered to be among your personal guard.’
That’s not exactly true is it, Garret. I don’t remember asking to volunteer.
‘Please rise,’ said the queen, and the four of them stood up. For a moment the queen looked them over with an appraising eye. Then she rose from her throne. ‘Walk with me.’
With that she walked across the throne room and right past them. Garret looked momentarily flustered but he followed anyway. Kaira glanced to Merrick but he merely shrugged. It was clearly an unexpected breach of protocol. Merrick was beginning to like Queen Janessa already.
They followed her through the winding corridors, down through the depths of the palace until they came out into the garden. It was all bare trees and bushes. Here and there stood shaped topiary that looked distinctly worse for wear in the chill winter air.