For a moment the world darkened. Then: Bear up. This is a stoic culture. Don’t lose face. “Why is this?”
The narration was short and dignified.
“You could not have spared him?” she asked dully. “I would have paid … enough to give Running Fox his honor.”
“You have told us you will leave in a few more moons, and Tall Man will not stay much longer,” Red Wolf answered. “After that, what? Other Vole men would think they could harm others of us and go free too. Also, Aryuk had won power over Running Fox’s ghost. Had we not recovered what he took, after death his own ghost would have been twice as strong, and surely full of hatred. I had to make sure he will never walk among us.”
“I have gotten a promise that there will be no further revenge on the Tulat,” said Corwin, “if they behave themselves.”
“That shall be true,” Red Wolf affirmed. “We do not wish to grieve you further, Sun Hair.” He paused. “I am sorry. I never wished to grieve you at all.”
He made a dismissing gesture, turned, and walked slowly off.
I cannot hate him, Tamberly thought. He did what he saw as his duty. I cannot hate him.
Oh, Aryuk, Tseshu, everybody who loved you, Aryuk!
“Tragic,” Corwin murmured after a minute. “But take comfort.”
It flared in Tamberly. “How can I, when he—when his family—I’ve got to look after them, at least.”
“Their own people will.” Corwin laid a hand on her shoulder. “My dear, you must control those generous impulses of yours. We may not intervene more than we already have. What could you do for anyone that is not forbidden? Besides, this tribe will soon be gone.”
“How much will be left by then? God damn it, we can’t just stand idle!”
He donned sternness. “Calm down. You can’t bluff the Wanayimo into anything. If you try, it will only complicate my work. Frankly, as matters stand, you have cost me some prestige, by association, when the news obviously stunned you.”
She knotted her fists and struggled not to weep.
He smiled. “But there, I didn’t mean to play Dutch uncle. You must learn to accept. ‘The moving Finger writes, and having writ,’ y’know.” Gently, he embraced her. “Come, let’s go inside and have a drink or three. We’ll toast memories and—”
She tore loose. “Leave me alone!” she cried.
“I beg your pardon?” He raised frosted brows. “Really, my dear, you’re overwrought. Relax. Listen to an old campaigner.”
“You wanna know what the moving Finger should do to you? Leave me alone, I said!” She grabbed at her dome opener. Through the wind, did she hear a resigned girls-will-be-girls sigh?
Sheltered, she flung herself on her bunk and let go. It took a long while.
When at last she sat up, darkness enclosed her. She hiccoughed, trembled, felt as cold as if she were still outside. Her mouth was salt. I must look a fright, she thought vaguely.
Her mind sharpened. Why has this hit me so hard? I liked Aryuk, he was a darling, and it’s going to be grim for his folks, at least till they can rearrange their lives, which’ll be tough to do with the Cloud People battening on everybody, but—but I’m no Tula, I’m only passing through, these are old, unhappy, far-off things, they happened thousands of years before I was born.
Corwin’s right, the bastard. We in the Patrol, we’ve got to get case-hardened. As much as we can. I think now I see why Manse sometimes suddenly falls quiet, stares beyond me, then shakes his head as though trying to throw something off and for the next few minutes gets a little overhearty.
She hammered fist on knee. I’m too new in the game. I’ve too much rage and sorrow in me. Especially rage, I think. What to do about it? If I want to stay on here any longer, I’d better make up with Corwin, more or less. Yeah, I was overreacting. I am right now. Maybe. Anyhow, before I can straighten things out I’ve got to straighten me out. Work off this that’s in me and tastes like sickness.
How? A long, long walk, yes. Only it’s night. No problem. I’ll hop uptime to morning. Only I don’t want anybody seeing me stalk off. Unseemly display of emotion, and might give wrong ideas. Okay, I’ll hop elsewhere as well as elsewhen, way away to the seashore or out on the steppe or—
Or.
She gasped.
X
Morning stole gray through falling snow. All else lay white and silent. The air had warmed a little. Aryuk sat hunched in his cloak. The snow had partly buried him. Perhaps he would rise and stagger onward, but not yet, and perhaps never. Although he felt hunger no more, his wound was fire-coals and his legs had buckled under him during the night. When the woman descended from unseen heaven, he simply stared in sluggish wonder.
She got off the unalive thing she rode and stood before him. Snow settled on her head covering. Where it touched her face and melted, it ran down like tears. “Aryuk,” she whispered.
Twice he could utter nothing but a croak, before he asked, “Have you too come after me?” He raised his heavy head. “Well, here I am.”
“Oh, Aryuk.”
“Why, you are crying,” he said, surprised.
“For you.” She swallowed, wiped the eyes that were blue as summer, straightened, looked more steadily down at him.
“Then you are still the friend of Us?”
“I, I always was.” She knelt and hugged him. “I always will be.” His breath hissed. She let go. “Did that hurt? I’m sorry.” She studied bound arm and blood-caked shoulder. “Yes, you’ve been hurt. Terribly. Let me help you.”
Gladness flickered faint. “Will you help Tseshu and the young?”
“If I can—Yes, I will. But you first. Here.” She fumbled in a garment and drew forth an object he recognized. “Here is Lovely Sweet.”
With his good hand and teeth he stripped off the wrapping. Eagerly, he ate. Meanwhile she got a box from the thing she rode. He knew about boxes, having seen her use them before. She came back, knelt again, bared her hands. “Do not be afraid,” she said.
“I am no longer afraid, with you by me.” He licked his lips. His fingers followed, to make sure none of the brown stuff was left behind. The ice in his beard crackled to their touch.
She put a small thing against his skin near the wound. “This will take away pain,” she said. He felt a slight shoving. On its heels ran a wave of peace, warmth, not-pain.
“A-a-ah,” he breathed. “You do beautiful works.”
She busied herself, cleaning and treating. “How did this come about?”
He didn’t want to remember, but because it was she who asked, he said, “Two Mammoth Slayers came to our place—”
“Yes, I have heard what the one told who escaped. Why did you attack the other one?”
“He laid hands on Tseshu. He said he would take her away. I forgot myself.” Aryuk could not pretend to her that he was really sorry for the deed, in spite of the evil it brought. “That was foolish. But I was again a man.”
“I see.” Her smile mourned. “Now the Cloud People are on your trail.”
“I thought they would be.”
“They will kill you.”
“This snow may break the trail too much for them.”
She bit her lip. He heard that it was very hard for her to say, “They will kill you. I can do nothing about that.”
He shook his head. “Do you truly know? I do not see how it can be certain.”
“I am not sure I see either,” she whispered, keeping her gaze upon her busy hands. “But it is.”
“I hoped I might die alone, and they find my body.”
“That would not satisfy them. They think they must kill, because a man of theirs was killed. If it is not you, it will be your kindred.”