«My dear, you know I do!»
«You know—at least, I pray you know—that—that I love you, as well.»
«Finist, love, what are you trying to say?»
«I— Few princes ever have to worry about this sort of thing. It's taken care of by their ministers in cold-blooded political deals, the sort of thing into which emotion never enters. But I—I — " Dammit! «Maria, will you marry me?»
The young woman stared at him blankly, plainly as stunned as he'd just been. «Are you allowed to ask that? I mean, aren't you supposed to clear things with your boyars first, and — "
«I am their prince," Finist said flatly. «They will support my wish.» He stirred uneasily. «Akh, but I don't mean to sound so pompous! Maria, love, they won't protest. That is, if you‑Maria, please! Will you marry me!»
He saw the realization of what he'd said at last sink in, And to his horror, he watched her eyes well up with tears. Blinking fiercely, biting her lip, Maria turned sharply away.
«Oh, Finist, I can't!»
«I… see.»
«No, it's not like that!» She whirled to face him again, pleading, «Believe me, I want to say yes‑more than anything, I want to say yes! But I can't, not without my father's approval!»
Finist stiffened as though she'd struck him. «Maria, he'll never give his approval, you know that, not to a magician, someone he sees as damned.»
«We—we don't know that," she lied painfully.
«Oh, believe me, we do.» The prince gave an angry, weary little sigh. «You see, in a manner of speaking, I've already asked him. Oh, no, not in so many words. I… spoke with him in a dream. And what I learned…»
At first, there'd been nothing but hatred, blunt, unreasoning hatred, and fear so strong Finist had been sure the man would wake, and wake shouting. But behind the fear had been grief, such painful grief that Finist, pitying, had nearly broken contact then and there. Then all at once Danilo's sleeping self had cried out in anguish:
«Sorcery slew my wife!»
And, in response to Finist's shocked query, he'd continued, «She‑Maria's birth was a difficult one. After that. '. . there could be no more children after that. But—but she would never believe me when I said that it didn't matter to me, that all I wanted was my dear one alive and well… She wanted so to give me a son… And when prayer seemed useless, she… In secret, she went to a sorcerer. She did whatever foulness he demanded. She drank his foul potions. And they killed her!»
Shaken, Finist had tried to insist that it hadn't been a sorcerer, but some fool of a charlatan who'd poisoned her through his sheer ignorance, that magic, true magic, had had nothing to do with it. But he couldn't pierce the wall of hate.
«My wife was avenged at the stake! But magic didn't die in that fire! Oh, no, its seductive evil is still very much alive, waiting for other poor innocent souls‑If any sorcerer ever dares touch either of my daughters, I swear that I shall see him writhe in flames—and my hand will hurl the first torch!»
Finist repressed a shudder at the memory.
Maria was staring at him. «Finist? Are you all right?»
«I… Do you know how your mother died?»
She blinked, surprised. «Why, not really. Lissa and I were both very young—Father told us she died of fever. Why do you ask?»
Finist sighed. He couldn't tell her the truth, he couldn't hurt her like that. «Akh, never mind. Let's just say I know without a shadow of doubt that your father will never, ever give his approval to our marriage.»
«Ah…»
The resignation in her eyes angered him. «All right, then! Forget him!»
«Finist!»
«You say you love me — "
«I do!»
«Then come with me, now!»
«What are you saying?»
«Nothing dishonorable, I swear it.» He rushed on before she could interrupt, «My powers will see us both safely to Kirtesk. And then… oh, Maria, can't you imagine it?» Fighting to keep his voice level and cajoling, Finist continued, «Picture the two of us together, on the throne, in our bed, picture us as husband and wife, happy people all about us, our people, shouting benedictions. Picture it, Maria, and come with me. In Kirtesk we can wed as we will, and — "
«We couldn't. Finist, our marriage wouldn't be legal.»
«But it would! In Kirtesk, the law allows a woman to marry as she will, assuming, of course, she isn't trying to wed close kin, or — "
«I can't. Finist, I'm sorry, I just can't.»
«You can! Maria, listen to me. There's no shame about this. We'll wed, and be happy, and — " But she wasn't listening. She was still her family's slave, and Finist added in a savage burst, «And Danilo can go to — "
«He's my father!» Maria gasped, anguished.«I can't just leave him!» She turned away, biting her lower lip so hard that Finist ached to cry out to her, Oh, my love, I don't mean to hurt you like this! Back to him, Maria continued, very carefully, «Maybe you're wrong. We haven't tried him, after all. Yes, I admit it, he hates magic, but he does want me to be happy. If he only has a chance to see the love between us‑Maybe if we both go to him and—and explain how things stand, he'll give his consent after all.»
«And maybe Stargorod will go floating off into the clouds!»
«Stop that! I—I don't know what else to do!» The weary curve of her shoulders made him take a step towards her, but before he could put his arms about her, she added softly, «Finist, love, what about magic? Can't you… bespell him?»
He stared at her back. «Do you know what you're saying?»
«Oh, I don't mean anything dangerous, just some harmless little spell, just enough to soften his heart so he'll give his consent and not worry about — "
«Any spell powerful enough to alter his thinking," Finist said flatly, «would not be harmless.»
«I—I'm sorry. I didn't know.»
«Akh, Maria, enough. Don't let him do this to you!» It was a cry of sheer frustration. ' 'Don't let him spoil your life! Leave him here with his fears. Come with me.»
She whirled to face him, eyes enormous in a wild, flushed face. «Oh, it's so easy for you, isn't it?»
«Now, what does that mean?»
«You, who can just fly away from anything that bothers you!»
He winced. «It isn't like that.»
«Isn't it?» She continued in a soft, fierce, anguished voice, «You're a prince! Who would dare say no to you? No one! No one save me!»
There comes a limit even to magical self‑control. «And is that what you want?» Finist shouted. The force of it snapped Maria back to herself, gesturing to him frantically, and the prince belatedly lowered his voice. «Do you want it to be over between us?» Oh God, if she says yes…
«Akh, Finist, what do you think? Of course I don't! But Lissa and I are all Father has left to him. I can't hurt him like this.»
«And what about me?» Finist knew how selfish that sounded, but he was past the point of caring. «What about us?»
«Don't do this to me! Father‑Lissa—they depend on me, they always depend on me — "
«And you prefer it that way, don't you? Of course, I should have realized. It's safer that way.» He saw her flinch in pain, but kept on relentlessly, «You don't have to think about the outside world, no, your father and sister need you, you don't have to worry about leading your own life or — "
«No! How dare you mock my life, you who've never suffered any hardship and — "
«Maria! I only wanted you to see how your father is using you!»
«Stop it!» Hands over her ears, she burst out, «I don't want to hear this! I don't want to talk about it! Please, leave me alone!»
«Maria — "
«Leave me alone! I—I need some time to myself.»
«Time, is it? Then time you shall have!»
His shout became the shriek of a falcon. Raging, aching, Finist hurled himself out into the night sky, shutting his ears to the sound of Maria's hopeless sobs behind him.