Zdorab, my husband-to-be. I can't wait to meet you.
The tents went up more smoothly their third night in the desert. Everyone knew well now which jobs they had to do—and which they could avoid. Rasa noticed with contempt that both Meb and Obring managed to spend more than half their time "helping" their wives do jobs that were already childishly easy—they had to be, or neither Dolya nor Kokor would have done them. Not that Dol wasn't willing to work sometimes, but as long as Kokor and Sevet weren't doing much that was worthwhile, she would not put herself beneath them. After all, Dol had been a starring actress when Kokor and Sevet were still chirping out their little children's songs. Rasa knew how Dol's mind worked. Status first, then human decency.
But at least decency was on her list! Who are these people I have raised and taught? The ones who are too selfish to endure threaten our peace, and yet some of the others are so compliant with the Oversoul that I fear even more for them.
I am not in charge of their lives now, Rasa reminded herself. I am in charge of getting the tent lines taut enough that it won't collapse in the first wind.
"It will collapse in a bad wind, no matter what you do," said Elemak. "So you don't have to make it strong enough to withstand a hurricane."
"Just a sandstorm?" Rasa felt a drop of sweat slip into her eye and sting, just as he spoke. She tried to wipe it away with her sleeve, but her arm was sweatier than her face, even under the light muslin.
"It's sweaty close work, no matter what the weather outside," said Elemak. "Let me."
He held the guyline tight while she cinched the knot into place. She well knew that he could just as easily have done the knot himself, without help holding the line. She saw at once what he was doing, making sure she learned her job, showing confidence in her, and letting her feel a sense of accomplishment when the tent held up. "You're good at this," she said.
"There's nothing hard about tying knots, once you learn them."
She smiled. "Ah, yes, knots. Is that what you're tying together here?"
He smiled back—and she could see that he did appreciate her praise. "Among other things, Lady Rasa."
"You are a leader of men," said Rasa. "I say this not as your stepmother, or even as your sister-in-law, but as a woman who has had some occasion of leadership myself. Even the lazy ones are ashamed to be too obvious about it." She did not mention that so far he had only succeeded in centering authority in himself—that no one had internalized anything yet, so that when he wasn't around, nothing happened. Perhaps that was all he had ever needed to learn about leadership during his years leading caravans. But if he meant to rule over this expedition (and Rasa was not such a fool as to think Elemak had any intention of allowing his father to have more than titular authority) he would have to learn how to do much more than make people dependent on him. The essence of leadership, my dear young ruler, is to make people independent and yet persuade them to follow you freely. Then they will obey the principles you've taught them even when your back is turned. But she could not say this to him aloud; he wasn't able yet to hear such counsel. So instead she continued to praise him, hoping to build his confidence until he could hear wise counsel. "And I've heard less argument and complaint from my daughters than I ever heard back when their lives were easy."
Elemak grimaced. "You know as well as I do that half of them would rather head back to Basilica this moment. I'm not sure that I'm not one of them."
"But we're not going back," said Rasa.
"I imagine it would be rather anticlimactic, returning to Moozh's city after he sent us away in such glory."
"Anticlimactic and dangerous," said Rasa.
"Well, Nafai has been cleared of the charge of killing my beloved half-brother Gaballufix."
"He's been cleared of nothing," said Rasa. "Nor, for that matter, have you, son of my husband."
"Me!" His face became hard and a little flushed. Not good, that he showed his emotion so easily. Not what a leader needed.
"I just want you to realize that returning to Basilica is out of the question."
"Be assured, Lady Rasa, that if I wanted to return to Basilica before seeing my father again, I would do so. And may yet do so after I see him."
She nodded slightly. "I'm glad that it cools off in the desert at night. So that we can bear the brutal heat of day, knowing the night will be gentle."
Elemak smiled. "I arranged it just for you, Lady Rasa."
"Shedemei and I were talking today," said Rasa.
"I know."
"About a very serious matter," said Rasa. "Something that could easily tear our colony apart. Sex, of course."
Elemak was instantly alert. "Yes?" he asked—but his voice was calm.
"In particular," said Rasa, "the mailer of marriage."
"Everyone is paired up well enough for now," said Elemak. "None of the men are sleeping unsatisfied, which is better than the way it is with most of my caravans. As for you and Hushidh and Shedemei, you'll soon be with your husbands, or the men who will be their husbands."
"But for some it is not the coupling itself they desire, but rather the chase."
"I know," said Elemak. "But the choices are limited."
"And yet some are still choosing, even though their choice seems to be made."
She could see how he stiffened his back and his neck, pretending to be calm, refusing to lean toward her and ask her the question in his heart. He worries about Eiadh, his bride, his beloved. She had not realized he was so perceptive about her, that he would already worry.
"They must be held faithful to their spouses," said Rasa.
Elemak nodded. "I can't say that I've had the problem—on my caravans, the men are alone until we reach cities, and then it's whores for most of them."
"And for you?" said Rasa.
"I'm married now," said Elemak. "To a young wife. A good wife."
"A good wife for a young man," said Rasa.
A smile flickered at the corners of his mouth. "No one is young forever," he said.
"But will she be a good wife in five years? In ten?"
He looked at her strangely. "How should I know?"
"But you must think about it, Elya. What kind of wife will she be in fifty years?"
He looked dumbfounded. He had not thought ahead on this issue, and did not even know how to pretend he had thought ahead, it took him so much by surprise.
"Because what Shedemei was pointing out—confirming my own thoughts on the matter—is that there's no chance that we can continue the marriage customs of Basilica out here in the desert. Basilica was very large, and we will be but sixteen souls. Eight couples. When you abandon Eiadh for another, whom will she marry then?" Of course, Rasa knew—and knew that Elemak also knew—that it was far more likely that it would be Eiadh deciding not to renew her marriage contract with Elemak, and not the other way around. But the question was still the same—whom would Eiadh marry?
"And children," said Rasa. "There'll be children—but no schools to send them to. They'll stay with their mothers, and another man—other men—will rear them."
She could see that her account of the future was getting to him. She knew exactly what would worry him most, and Lady Rasa wasn't ashamed to use that knowledge. After all, the things she was warning him about were true.
"So you see, Elemak, that as long as we're just sixteen souls who must stay together in order to survive in the desert, marriage must be permanent."