R ITA: What question? I can’t remember the question.
K ELLER: That’s all right. Let me rephrase. In fact, let’s back up just a bit. You said you went to high school in Grain, isn’t that right?
R ITA: Part of high school.
K ELLER: Why did you leave?
R ITA: I felt like it.
K ELLER: I see. You left in the middle of your sophomore year. Is that correct?
R ITA: I suppose.
K ELLER: Either you did or you didn’t. Which is it, Ms. Long?
R ITA: Fine. I left during my sophomore year. Are you happy?
K ELLER: Were you dating anyone at the time?
R ITA: Do I have to answer this?
R AYMOND: I object to this line of questioning!
J UDGE: Mr. Keller, the court asked you to move along with this line of questioning. Move along. I’ll overrule the objection, but the clock is ticking, Mr. Keller. Mrs. Long, answer the question.
R ITA: Yeah, I was dating. So what? Maybe you didn’t date in high school, but the rest of us did. And last time I looked, it wasn’t a crime.
K ELLER: You and John Johnson were in high school at the same time, isn’t that true?
R ITA: So were a lot of other people in this town.
K ELLER: But John-I think you called him Jay Jay-and you, you liked each other. You dated, went steady, whatever they were calling it then?
I am in the middle of a train wreck. I’m tied to the railroad tracks, and the train is coming fast. Rita feels it too. She’s acting all cocky, but I see through that act to her fear. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen her scared, and this is one of those times. I glance over at Jeremy and see that he’s full-on watching this happen. His empty bottle sits on the defense table, as if he’s forgotten about it. He is watching Rita, and he’s not breathing.
Something bad, very bad, is coming.
33
K ELLER: Ms. Long, I’ll ask you again. Were you and John Johnson in an exclusive dating relationship in high school?
R ITA: Yeah. So what? That was a long time ago, in case you don’t know that. I dated a lot.
K ELLER: But that year, were you in an exclusive relationship with the deceased, John Johnson? Or did you sleep around?
R AYMOND: I object!
R ITA: So do I!
J UDGE: Overruled. But, Mr. Keller, I’m pulling in your chain. Get to it.
K ELLER: I’m sorry, Your Honor. Ms. Long, I don’t know how else to ask this. And I apologize if the question embarrasses you. Were you Jay Jay’s girlfriend? Did you sleep with him?
R ITA: Yes. Okay. Yes, I was his girlfriend. And I did sleep with him, but I didn’t sleep around. Just him. You can ask anybody.
K ELLER: Thank you. I have. Let’s change the subject for a minute.
R ITA: Good idea.
K ELLER: You ran away from Grain how long ago?
R ITA: About twenty years. I couldn’t take it here anymore.
K ELLER: And yet, here you are. You came back. Why was that?
I’m getting a sick feeling in my stomach. I think I know where this is going. How could I have been stupid enough not to guess it before now?
Rita is rattling on, like she does when she gets nervous. Raymond has to have told her what he told me: Keep your answers short. Stay on point. Don’t offer up information not asked for. But she won’t stop talking, and I know where it’s going to get her, to get Jeremy.
“I think my parents were too old to be parents, God rest their souls.” Rita crosses herself, but she’s never been Catholic. I think she does it wrong. “They’re both dead now, so I suppose that’s why I came back. I could still have a fresh start here. I figured I could get a job waitressing.”
Keller moves in closer, the predator creeping toward his prey. “About twenty years?” He nods, as if calculating, counting on invisible fingers. He turns and looks at Jeremy. “How old is your son, Ms. Long?”
Jeremy doesn’t flinch.
Keller wheels back around to Rita. “Ms. Long, how old is your son?”
Rita stares at the ceiling, then spits it out: “Almost nineteen.”
Keller’s lip curls up-a grin? a snarl? “Were you pregnant when you left Grain and dropped out of school?”
Rita turns to the judge. “He can’t ask me that, can he?”
The judge looks like she feels sorry for Rita.
Raymond’s slow on the draw, but he jumps up. “Objection!”
Keller smiles at the judge. “Goes to motive, Your Honor.”
Does it? Does it go to motive?
I lean way forward so I can see Jeremy’s face more clearly. He’s staring at Rita. His eyes are still and deep. He knows. I can see that. Jeremy knows exactly what’s coming.
“Overruled,” says the judge. “Please answer the question.”
“I was pregnant,” Rita says softly, not looking at Keller.
“Was the child Jay Jay’s?” Keller asks. “Is Jeremy the son of John Johnson?”
The courtroom goes crazy. Everybody’s talking at once. The judge bangs her gavel and threatens to clear the courtroom if we don’t shut up.
“Do you need me to repeat the question?” Keller shouts. “You’re under oath, ma’am.”
“I know that!” Rita snaps. “And I don’t see what any of this has to do with anything. Yes! Jay Jay was Jeremy’s father. Okay? Is that what you wanted? But Jeremy didn’t know it.”
I haven’t taken my eyes off my brother. Rita is wrong. He did know. I can read my brother better than anyone on earth. Jeremy knew that John Johnson was his father. I don’t know how or when he discovered it, but I can see the truth in his eyes. There’s not a hint of surprise on his face.
Why didn’t he tell me, write me a long note in his delicate calligraphy? I thought Jeremy told me everything. How could he have kept this enormous secret from me? I will myself to quit staring at my brother. When I look back to Rita, she’s wringing her hands in a way I’ve never seen her do before. I hate her for keeping this secret, but I almost feel sorry for her too.
Keller isn’t finished. “Are you positive John Johnson was Jeremy’s father?”
Rita acts insulted. “I told you! I didn’t sleep around in high school. I think I ought to know who the father of my baby was.”
How many times have I asked her about Jer’s father? I try to picture the two of them together, Rita and Jay Jay. But I can’t. He was quiet, patient, good-natured. I don’t think I ever saw him say more than a couple of words to Rita. She never talked about him. On the other hand, I have a dozen memories of Jeremy and Coach together. Jeremy and his father: in the barn, at the ballpark, with the horses.
I try to listen to what else Keller will make Rita say.
K ELLER: Did you and Jay Jay pick up where you left off when you returned to Grain?
R ITA: No!
K ELLER: But he gave Jeremy a job, didn’t he? And he took the boy under his wing, let him help out at ball games. Weren’t the two of you having an affair?
R ITA: We were not having an affair!
K ELLER: But Mr. Johnson gave you money. Isn’t that right?
R ITA: So what? He should have been giving me child support all those years. It was the least he could do to try to make up for that.
K ELLER: How much was he paying you?
R ITA: Oh, he was real generous at first. Helped us with the security deposit on that little house we rent. And he helped with rent.
K ELLER: At first? You said he was generous at first? When was that?
R ITA: When I first told him Jeremy was his son.
K ELLER: And when was that?
R ITA: Right after we moved here. So about three years ago.
K ELLER: Not before then?
R ITA: That’s what I said. I’d started a new life for myself, and it didn’t include a husband and father. I didn’t need him trailing after me. No way I was going to get stuck in this town my whole life.