She stood on the chair. I thought she was going to topple over at any moment. There was a stunned silence. The music stopped. She pointed at Drake. ”That,” she said, ”is my husband, Drake Aldringham, an ambitious politician.” Her words were slurred and to my horror I realized that she was completely intoxicated. “He doesn’t want me. That’s the one he wants … that one he is dancing with … holding her tightly … whispering to her … telling her what a terrible time he has with me. He wants her, the dressmaker, Lenore the bastard. No, he doesn’t want me. I’m only his wife. She is his mistress. She’s taken him away from me.”
There was a deep silence. I could feel the furtive glances which were coming our way.
Drake went to her and said in a voice of disgust: “Julia, you are drunk.”
She began to laugh wildly. She would have fallen if Drake had not caught her. Then she slid gently from his arms and lay prone on the floor, her eyes wide, staring at nothing.
I saw Charles making his way towards her.
“Better get her upstairs,” he said and it seemed to me that he could not quite hide his amusement.
Cassie was beside me. “We ought to go home,” she said.
And so … the party was over.
I cannot think clearly even now what happened after Julia’s outburst. I felt stunned. I was aware of people about me, avoiding looking at me.
Cassie was strong and practical in a crisis. She had taken my arm and I found myself outside the house. The carriage was to have come for us much later so there was no conveyance to take us home.
Cassie said: “Let’s walk.”
So we walked through the streets, she holding my arm, saying nothing. I was glad of that.
As we entered the house Grand’mere came down to see what had happened and we went into her room to talk about it. She listened horrified.
“Poor Julia!” said Cassie. “She was quite unaware of what she was doing … what she was saying.”
“It must have been in her mind,” I said. “How could she make such false accusations before all those people!”
“They will all know that she was drunk.”
“That was obvious. But what she said! People will believe the worst.”
“My dear child,” said Grand’mere, “try to be calm. We’ll find some way out of this. Perhaps you could go away. You could go back to Paris.” She stopped, frowning. I knew what she was thinking; go back where I might possibly fall into the hands of the Comte. I could sense her weighing up the situation and deciding that in spite of the scandal and the difficult times ahead I was safer here.
“That would seem like running away,” I said.
She nodded. “I’ll tell you what. I’m going to make us a nice soothing drink. We’ll take it and get a good night’s sleep. We’ll all feel better in the morning.”
In spite of the drink I could not sleep. I did doze a little at dawn only to wake with a feeling of deep depression as the memory of that disastrous night came flooding back to me.
Could I leave? I wondered. I wished the Countess were here. With her worldly wisdom she would have summed up the position more clearly than the rest of us could. Suppose the Comte was still in Paris. He would think I had come back to be near him. He would continue his pursuit. I wondered whether I should find it irresistible.
I felt that I wanted to look at the situation more clearly than I had on the previous night. Of one thing I was certain: those who had been present would already be telling their friends of that scene last night. For a woman to accuse her husband of adultery with someone there, had surely never happened before. Those who had witnessed this scene would want to take advantage of having been eye witnesses.
I wondered what would happen now. Would credence be given to the story that I was Drake’s mistress? I was sure it would.
Perhaps I should get away after all.
I thought of being in Paris … of the possibility of seeing him, putting all this unpleasantness behind me. They would be sure I was running away—and so I should be!
A day passed. We were very busy. Far from custom falling off, there were many who could not curb their curiosity and came on the pretext of buying something. I stayed out of sight.
Two days later to my amazement Julia came to the salon.
Cassie came to tell me that she wanted to see me.
”I can’t see her,” I said. ”I think it better that I should not.”
“She is very distressed,” said Cassie. “She’s crying. She must see you, she says. She can’t rest until she does.”
I hesitated but Cassie was looking at me pleadingly. Cassie had become very motherly over the years and she seemed to feel that her mission in life was to protect us all.
“Do see her,” begged Cassie. “I hate these quarrels in families.”
So I agreed.
Julia came in. She was rather pale and the receding colour made the tiny veins in her cheeks more visible. She looked older and pathetic.
We regarded each other in silence for a moment, then she burst out: “Oh, Lenore, I am so terribly sorry. I didn’t know what I was doing… what I was saying. I don’t remember much about it. I was standing on a chair … and I don’t know how I got up there.”
“You shouted a terrible accusation about Drake and me.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“How could you think such things?” 1 demanded. “They must have been in your mind.”
“I’m so unhappy, Lenore. I think I’ve always been jealous of you. Drake liked you from the first… better than he ever liked me.”
“He’s married to you, Julia.”
”I know, but that doesn’t mean everything, does it? He doesn’t love me. Sometimes I’m frantic. I was afraid that he’d marry you. That’s why I tried to stop it… like I did when we were at Swaddingham and I forced my maid to pretend she was the ghost up in that gallery … the ghost that appears to warn them about marrying …”
I was puzzled then I remembered.
“Oh Julia,” I said, “how could you be so … so foolish. Your implications are untrue.”
“I’m so sorry, Lenore.”
”The harm is done now. What are people thinking? They are believing you, of course.”
“I will tell them all that I did not know what I was saying. Sometimes I think Drake hates me. It maddens me … makes me frantic.” I could see that she was beginning to get hysterical again and I had to calm her.
“All right, Julia,” I said. “Let’s try to forget it.”
“Do you mean that?”
“Yes, I do. Let me tell you that I am not and never have been Drake’s mistress.”
“But he was on the point of marrying you once.”
“He did not ask me to, Julia. Forget it. He has married you.”
“Yes,” she said. “He did that, didn’t he?” She was smiling a little slyly remembering I supposed how she had tricked him.
In spite of everything I was sorry for her. She was a poor hysterical woman. She might be rich but life had not gone very well for her. She had been obsessed with Drake from the moment she had seen him and would clearly use any means, however dishonest, to get him.
“Do let’s try to forget it,” she said with a smile.
I thought: With London society aware of it? What harm was this going to do to Drake’s career? A politician with an unstable wife could not hope for advancement. Perhaps even now the damage done was irrevocable.
I had not seen Drake since the outburst and I did not really want to. I feared what he might have to say for I believed he would be more eager to get away from Julia than ever. His career was in jeopardy. It might, even now, be impossible to save it.
But Julia was here before me. She was truly contrite. I was sure her remorse was genuine. It was true that she had been intoxicated and had not realized what she had said. What was the use of railing against her? I must try hard to remember that when she had drunk too much she did not know what she was saying. She was pitiful.