He wanted to believe that, so bad it made his bones ache. But he couldn’t; the faith just wasn’t there. “You’ve been lying to me about this for days. Why should I believe you now?”
In the next heartbeat Jade had crossed the space between them and grabbed his shoulders. Her claws pricked his skin through the silky material of his shirt and her face was a tight combination of hurt and fury. “You want me to hurt you so you can hate me? Would that make this easier?”
Moon didn’t flinch. “Nothing could make this easier.”
It was only the heartfelt truth, and Jade’s expression turned stricken. She released him and moved away, staring down at the floor as if it had the answers. After a long moment, she said, quietly, “I promise you, you will be back here as First Consort before the month changes.”
Even as she said it, the overwhelming sense that it wouldn’t happen overcame him. She might believe she was telling the truth, but he knew it wouldn’t come to pass. He said, “When does Tempest mean to leave?”
Jade’s spines flattened. She looked up, brows lowered. “Tomorrow morning, if the rain’s stopped.”
“I’ll be there,” Moon said, and walked past her and out of the room.
He slept in Stone’s empty bower that night. The blankets in the bed still retained a wisp of Stone’s scent, and it made Moon remember that first trip across the mountains and the plains to the old Indigo Cloud colony, when anything had seemed possible.
When Moon woke, he thought at first it was an ordinary day. While the garden platforms were drying out, he and Jade had had a tentative plan to go flying through the suspended forest with Chime, Balm, and some of the other warriors, if the rain held off. Rain, he thought, and remembered.
He lay still, listening, filtering out the faint sounds of movement and voices from elsewhere in the tree, the falling water from the nearest fountains. He couldn’t hear drops drumming on the trunk or branches. If it was raining, it was too light to be heard. Which meant they would be leaving today.
Good, he told himself, knowing from experience that dragging out his departure would just make it that much worse.
But there were things he had to do first. He dragged himself out of Stone’s bed and dropped to the floor, his head aching and his muscles tense and sore. He felt as tired as if he hadn’t slept at all. He had seen groundlings suffer morning-after illnesses from too much drink or drugs; he hadn’t known you could suffer the same result from too much emotion.
He stumbled out of Stone’s bower and down the passage into the common area, only to discover he had an audience. Balm and Chime sat beside the hearth basin. From the blankets tumbled on the floor, they had slept here. Balm was staring at the heating stones, distracted and unhappy, pulling at a lock of her hair. Chime was huddled blearily beside her, and didn’t look as if he had slept particularly well, either.
They looked up as Moon stopped in the doorway. Balm started to speak, but before she could, Chime surged to his feet and said, “I didn’t know. We didn’t know.”
Moon nodded. It hardly seemed to matter now. “Where’s the new consort?”
Chime hesitated, but Balm pointed to the passage across the way. “Just down there, the third bower along.”
Moon stepped past them and went down the passage.
One of the mentors must have renewed the shell-lights down in this unused section, because it was brighter than Moon remembered. He stopped in the doorway of the third bower. The young consort was awake and sitting on a mat near the hearth basin, wearing the same dark-colored robe he had worn yesterday, without the concealing hood. His arms were folded and his shoulders hunched, though the room itself was warm enough. It was a good-sized bower but bare, empty except for a pile of folded blankets beneath the hanging bed and a small collection of packs and bags shoved against the wall. The place had the signs of a hasty cleaning, with a few stray dead leaves and damp spots left behind. As Moon stepped through the doorway, the consort glanced up, his eyes widening. He pushed to his feet.
He looked as young as Chime had implied, but though his body was almost too slender, his shoulders were broad; Moon thought he was probably past adolescence, if only just. His skin was a lighter bronze than usual for the Aeriat of Indigo Cloud or Emerald Twilight, and his hair was a light gold-brown. Next to him, Moon felt huge and awkward, as if he suddenly had too many bones and they were sticking out in the wrong places.
Moon said, “Who are you?” The young consort stared blankly at him, and Moon clarified, “What’s your name?”
“Uh.” He cleared his throat, and managed to blurt out, “I’m Ember, of Emerald Twilight, of the bloodline of Tempest and Fade.”
Moon hadn’t asked for a pedigree, but it was the way consorts were normally introduced. He supposed it was meant as a compliment that Tempest had handed over a consort from one of her own clutches, but Moon hadn’t had terribly good luck with her offspring so far. “You’re Ash’s clutchmate?”
“No, we’re not—We’re only half—” Ember took a sharp breath, as if bracing himself. “Fade had something wrong with his heart when he was born, and the mentors couldn’t heal it. They said it wouldn’t be passed on to his clutches, so when he was old enough Tempest took him as her second consort so the court wouldn’t lose his bloodline. But he only gave her one clutch before he died.” Ember dropped his gaze, in an agony of self-consciousness. “Just me, and four warriors. But we’re all healthy.”
Moon rubbed his eyes and muttered a curse under his breath. He might be mature and fertile, but he’s still practically a fledgling. A pampered and beloved fledgling, probably right up until the moment they tore him away from his brothers and sent him off to a foreign court with a terrible reputation. When Moon was that age, he had been experimenting with passing himself off as a groundling for longer periods of time, under more dangerous circumstances; and learning that he could use sex to get someone to be nice to him, for a while at least. And coming to terms with the fact that no place was entirely safe, that anyone could turn on him.
Weary past bearing, Moon said, “If you don’t want to stay up here alone, take the spiral stair at the west end of this level all the way down to the greeting hall. The hall just below it belongs to the teachers. They always have food there and they’ll take care of you.” He knew the teachers would take care of Ember, once they got a look at him; they had even taken care of Moon when he had first arrived, an unwanted feral solitary. That seemed like it was half a lifetime ago, not just the better part of a turn.
Ember looked up at him, wary but hopeful. Moon turned away, unable to take it a moment more.
He was in the doorway when Ember said, “Shadow said that I shouldn’t be afraid of you.”
Moon stopped. He had a surge of bitter jealousy for Shadow, secure in his court with more clutches than he could probably remember fathering. He said, “Shadow doesn’t know me.”
He left the bowers, avoiding the common area, finding his way through the back passages and out to the open gallery above the queens’ level and the central well. He shifted and jumped off, snapping his wings out to slow his fall, and landed on the floor of the greeting hall.
A group of warriors, Tempest and Zephyr’s attendants, sat grouped around the hearth basin near the fountain, watching him with wary curiosity. Ignoring them, he took the stairs down to the teachers’ hall. Several Arbora sat around the hearth, but Moon whipped past before anyone could try to speak to him and fled down the passage to the nurseries.