“If you were the empress, what would you do?”
I wait for Elise to say that she’s not, that it’s not for her to choose. But instead there’s a silence longer than any before. And I do wonder then. Sibilia insisted that what the gagargi said on that rainy day in the dining room about Elise was simply twisted lies. But could it really be that what I heard with my very own ears was true all along, that my sister did indeed side with gagargi and betray our mother?
And us.
Truth. Now that I’ve guessed what my older sisters are hiding, or most of it in any case, I expected everything in this world to look different. But in the morning, the tables and chairs of the drawing room remain where we left them the night before. There’s no sign whatsoever of Captain Janlav’s visit. Or there kind of is.
Leftovers. As I munch the leftovers from the Ball, soggy triangular cucumber sandwiches, hardened tiny sweet rolls, and softened meringues, none of my sisters speak. Even little Alina is uncustomarily silent as she toys with Rafa’s tail. My older sisters sip the hot tea and swirl it in the chipped cups. Millie has taken away the punch, but there are red spill marks on the white tablecloth and the floorboards are sticky. The maple leaves have dried and crumbled into red fists. I don’t like how they look.
When the swan clock strikes eleven, Celestia retreats to the divan before the fireplace. She says, “My sisters, today we shall not dance.”
Elise and Sibilia nod in agreement, and even I’d guessed as much. Black dust stains our hems. There will be no more music in this house. Though it’s not my fault the discs broke. Really, it’s not. What was I supposed to do? Stop playing them midway through the Ball?
Celestia lies down on the divan, tired from dancing. Or from keeping track of her numerous lies. Elise resumes darning her stockings on the padded chair next to the gramophone. She glances at Sibilia, who cradles the book of scriptures on her lap, on the sofa before the tall mirror. Elise’s lips are drawn into a spurious smile, and she’s got thick blue circles around her eyes. I’m sure that even if I were to ask her why, she wouldn’t tell me.
“But we shall resume the practices tomorrow,” Elise states matter-of-factly. “Shall we not?”
Sibilia nods, maybe agreeing to more than dancing, but how would I know? Maybe all of our older sisters have been lying to Alina and me! Now that I think of it, ever since we left the Summer City, they have been exchanging meaningful glances and nods and shakes of heads when we’re present. Not really telling us anything.
“Yes, of course we shall,” Celestia replies.
I herd Alina to the carpet, to play with Rafa and Mufu. She’s been wiping her cheeks too often this morning. But this time around, I can’t tell her it’s going to be all right. Not now that I know what she did. I figured it out last night. She’s the one who accidentally revealed our plan to Captain Janlav! Even she, my sweet little sister, has been keeping secrets from me!
“Up,” I whisper. I can’t stand this anymore. I simply can’t. “I need to get up for a moment.”
Rafa and Mufu bounce to me. They wag their tails and stretch their backs, thinking we’re about to go out. Though of course we’re not going to do that. It’s not yet the time for that. It’s never time for anything in this house. Besides, my companions need to stay and keep Alina preoccupied. “You. You stay with Alina.”
Ghosts. I need to talk with the ghosts about what I heard and realized last night. I don’t yet know how I’m going to do that with my sisters present in the room. Maybe the ghosts can read my lips. Or my mind. But I do need to consult with them as soon as possible. It may be that they’re the only ones who have been telling me how matters really stand, though I suspected otherwise for such a long time.
I slowly circle the room, holding the silver hand mirror before me. My sisters are too distracted to take note of me, Celestia napping, Elise busy with the needle, Sibilia immersed in her own secrets. Though she has the book of scriptures propped on her lap, she’s not reading Papa’s words. She’s hiding a letter. I have no idea whom it’s from or what it contains. I want to know the answer to both.
As there’s no sign of the ghosts, I might as well.
“Sibilia. Sibilia, tell me…” I trail off as she glances at me from over the book’s edge, chewing her lower lip. She’s not sure what she’s reading either. Wrong. Maybe she’s only been wrong about everything and not intentionally misleading me.
Sibilia stares at me, at the hand mirror. She knows what I’m looking for. But this morning, she doesn’t care about the ghosts. She returns to her letter, has no idea of the plots weaved right before our noses!
“Never mind.”
I circle the room again. Ghosts. Where are the ghosts? I want to, need to talk with them. I don’t have anyone else to turn to for advice. My older sisters never tell me anything. Or if they tell me something, it’s not everything. And I can’t bear this anymore, not after Captain Janlav as much as confirming what the gagargi said about Elise was true, not with knowing that Celestia, the very empress-to-be, has been conspiring with the gagargi behind our backs!
Darkest. I visit even the darkest corner of the drawing room and stay there for quite a while, despite the draft and the heavy shadows falling on me. I don’t deserve to be kept in the dark like this, not when I have no, or almost no, secrets from my older sisters. I’ve had it with them lying to me! I’ve simply had enough! Whom am I supposed to trust when both Celestia and Elise have betrayed us?
But it’s only on the fifth round around the room that the ghosts at last appear, in the tall mirror above Sibilia’s sofa. They’re barely more than mist. They must be exhausted from the dancing, too. Or from more than that.
I wave at the ghosts, invite them to join me, and retreat to the window closest to our rooms. Rafa and Mufu halt their play, one paw up, staring at me. I shake my head at them. Help. I don’t need their help now. Or I do. They should stay with Alina. Even if this conversation kind of concerns her, too, my little sister is too young and frail to take part in it.
“How kind of you to join us,” I greet the ghosts, turning around with the silver mirror held up so that I can spot where they decide to take shape. There, on my both sides.
Irina arches her brows at my tone. Angry. I didn’t mean to sound angry at them. Or maybe I did. Does it even matter?
Olesia lowers her palm on my shoulder. She eyes me from head to toe. “My dear, you look positively vexed.”
Point. Straight to the point, and that’s what I need. Though I don’t usually talk with the ghosts when my older sisters are present, today they’re so deep in their own thoughts that if I keep my voice low, they won’t notice a thing. Besides they’ve conducted their own secretive business unabashedly in my presence for months. “I am.”
“Why?” Irina asks, curious.
“Right. You were right about Celestia and Elise.” And I tell the ghosts briefly about the night before, Elise’s mystery visitor, who turned out to be none other than Captain Janlav, and the following conversation, the accusations that my sister didn’t deny, and the revelation that made me suspect that there’s more to Celestia’s plan than what she’s shared with us. It wasn’t Gagargi Prataslav who lied, but Elise! And Celestia has been conspiring with him toward her own ends!
“I knew it!” Irina clutches her fist against her heart. Olesia puffs her cheeks and seems to be holding her breath. “You cannot ever trust the older sisters!”
“What should I do?” The reflection shimmers. I realize my hand is shaking and the mirror shakes with it. Still. I force my hand to still. If neither Celestia nor Elise have our best interests in mind, then it’s solely up to Rafa and Mufu and me to protect Alina.