Camden raised a disdainful eyebrow at the poet, but did not deign to start a conversation. Presumably, thought Shakespeare, one did not speak first to one’s inferiors. Fine, he thought, so be it. He simply smiled at Camden in a warm, comradely sort of way, and kept right on walking beside him, saying nothing. Camden cleared his throat after a moment, as if to prompt him, but Shakespeare merely smiled at him once more. This seemed to infuriate the barrister. His face flushed, the corners of his mouth turned down with scorn, and his aristocratic nostrils flared.
“If you suppose that there was any hint of impropriety in what you have just seen,” said Camden, haughtily, “and that what you believe you may have witnessed has somehow placed you in some position of particular advantage over me, then I can assure you, sir, that you are very much mistaken on both counts.”
“Oh, upon my word, that was well spoken!” Shakespeare said. “You flatter me, sir, to suppose such great complexity of thought to my most ordinary brain. Indeed, I can but scarcely apprehend your meaning. I can but hazard that your remarks just now were in some way concerned with your lying atop the lady in the library… or was it laying? S’trewth, lying, laying, I need my old schoolboy’s hornbook, for I can never keep them straight.”
“Now, see here…”
“Nay, milord, I was not seeking instruction, for doubtless you would know the difference, as you are a fine and educated gentleman of the Inns of Court. Eloquence, indeed, would be your proper province, whereas mine is but some foolish capering and posturing upon the stage. Odd’s blood, what would I know, indeed?”
“Aye, well, not a very great deal, I should think,” said Camden, stuffily.
“Not a great deal at all, I quite agree, I quite agree,” said Shakespeare. “Which is why, of course, I make every effort to learn more and better myself at every opportunity, you see. And I could see, indeed, that back in yonder library, you were but doing what you could to comfort the young lady, who was doubtless overcome in her bereavement, what with the twin tragedies of the deaths of both her sister and her lover.”
“Her lover, did you say?” Camden stopped abruptly, startled, but Shakespeare purposely kept right on walking, as if he had not noticed, forcing the barrister to run several steps in order to catch up.
“Aye, her lover, too, slain so tragically on the very same day that her poor, dear sister was murdered, and not once, it seems, but twice! So in effect, I suppose one might say that there were three murders, save for the fact that there were but two victims.”
“Wait a moment,” Camden said, frowning, “what the devil are you talking about? What do you mean when you say her lover? That is to say, whom do you mean? And who is it that was slain and how? And, for that matter, when)”
“Oh, why, that would be Daniel Holland, I believe,” said Shakespeare.
“ Holland!”
“Aye, indeed, he is the very one.”
“Good God! You mean to say that Holland was her lover?” “Once again, sir, your education speaks, for indeed, ‘twas was, not is, that is the proper form.”
“What?”
“Was,” said Shakespeare. “Was her lover, not is her lover, for as he is dead, he must perforce be was, not is.”
“What in God’s name are you babbling about?” “Why, good grammar, I believe.” “God damn your grammar, sir!”
“I know, milord, ‘tis atrocious, truly. I mangle each and every part and participle of speech. I am not fit to speak with educated gentlemen such as yourself. I am thoroughly ashamed. Forgive me, I shall be on my way and trouble you no longer.”
“Stay, you impertinent rascal! Bestill yourself until I give you leave to go, you hear?”
“Why, certainly. Your servant, sir.”
They had stopped just inside the fairgrounds, amidst the colorful pavillions and painted wood stalls decorated with particolored banners, painted cloths, and pennants showing the wares being displayed. The hour was late, but every single stall and tent was open and the grounds were crowded by the guests, none of whom, it seemed, had left for home or even gone to sleep for fear of missing any more excitement. The grounds were lit with flickering campfires and torches and the tents were lit with candles, giving the entire fair a festive glow. The cookfires were all burning brightly and the food vendors were all doing a brisk business. The air was full of tantalizing roasting and baking smells and Shakespeare suddenly realized that he was hungry. He could also do with a pint of ale or nice flagon of spiced wine. The trouble was, he had no money.
“Now, what is all this about Daniel Holland being Blanche’s lover?” Camden demanded.
Shakespeare put a hand up to his brow, as if his head was paining him, and closed his eyes as he swayed slightly from side to side. “S’trewth, in all the excitement of the day, I fear I have not eaten anything. And here ‘tis night and I am so famished that I nearly swoon with weakness. My stomach growls and I feel weak-”
“Very well then, come on and we shall get some food inside you,” Camden said, leading him to the nearest stall that had a cook-fire, “but you shall, by God, answer my questions afore I lose my patience!”
“God bless you, sir, you are a kind and noble soul,” said Shakespeare, and within a moment he was munching contentedly upon a leg of mutton the vendor had been roasting.
“Now then,” Camden said, “tell me what you know of this matter of Daniel Holland and Blanche Middleton.”
“Mmpf!” said Shakespeare, clearing his throat several times, touching it as if something were caught there. “Urggh… guggh…”
“Oh, good God!” said Camden. “Here! You! Merchant! Some ale, and be quick about it!”
A moment later, the mutton was being washed down by a strong, dark ale and Shakespeare felt much better. “Ah! There, that seems to have dislodged it! I am much obliged to you, milord. Doubtless, you have saved my life, else I would have choked to death right here upon the spot!”
“I shall bloody well choke you to death right here upon this spot unless you give me an answer to my question!” Camden nearly shouted. “Now what is all this about Holland?”
“Oh, well, he is dead,” said Shakespeare, between bites of mutton leg. “He was killed, you see.” He frowned, considering. “Is dead, was killed… aye, that seems to be correct, grammatically speaking.”
“Speak whichever way you chose, you mountebank, but tell me how he was killed!”
“Run through, it seems,” said Shakespeare, smacking his lips and taking a drink of ale. “Oh, this is most excellent. I truly thank you for your kindness, milord. I was so weak with hunger, I could scarcely stand.”
“Stand and deliver me an answer, scoundrel! Run through by whom?” persisted Camden.
“Why, no one seems to know for certain,” Shakespeare replied. He pointed to a stall a few yards off. “Why, look there! Would those be shepherds’ pies?” He started walking towards a stall where an old man with an eye patch was laying out some freshly baked pies. “Ah, I can smell that tasty crust from here! My mouth waters with anticipation!”