And Raymond has to admit he also misses how Madeline used to worry about whether he was getting enough to eat, or was eating the right foods, because now, if she cared to ask — which obviously she does not — he scarcely has an appetite. Still, because she is responsible for practically all the meals in the Burrow, he forces himself to eat although his heart breaks with every chew. He also misses the way she used to make him wear shoes around the apartment instead of just his socks, and he still wears them in her memory. But most of all Raymond misses the afternoons or evenings they’d be lying together in bed watching a nature special about ducks, and he would point out something the so-called experts had gotten wrong, or bring up something they had forgotten, and Madeline would rub his chest and say, “Oh Raymond, you certainly are an idiot savant.” Then she’d explain, though she’d told him a million times before, that was French for genius.
And it has occurred to Raymond that, even taking into account his recent weight loss, he could easily beat Viktor to a pulp and reclaim Madeline, because Viktor must be seriously out of shape, with the possible exception of what Madeline used to call the “love muscle,” after being in front of a computer all hours of the day and night. Also, Raymond outweighs the man by at least fifty pounds, but anyway, except for causing Viktor pain, he’s not sure what else violence would accomplish. In the first place, he knows those days of claiming a woman as your own are long gone. In the second place, Viktor was Madeline’s idea, so if anyone claimed anything, she had claimed Viktor. In the third place, if he did something like that, he’d have to leave the Burrow. Not only does he not want that, but he doesn’t even want to think about finding a new apartment, what with security deposits and first and last month’s rent, and then having to move the decoys. In the fourth place, if he left he probably never would see Madeline again, and in the fifth place, after all, what kind of person would that show he is? Madeline left Jeffery to be with him, and afterward Jeffery was never anything but nice.
Is Madeline one of those women he has heard about who can’t be satisfied by any man, but keeps on trying? Or maybe she’s like a comet, and he’s due for another visit.
Sometimes, walking by Heather’s room late at night he can hear Heather talking on her phone to some distant boyfriend of hers, just a word here and a word there, but what she says makes Raymond blush.
What would it be like to have someone talk to him that way?
Or to touch him?
Episode One, The Burrow, Scene Six
The kitchen. EVERYONE is seated around the kitchen table and each person demonstrates different degrees of impatience. Some tap their fingers, others inspect their nails, yet others rub their thumbs against one another. The table is left unset, with its surface empty.
Jeffery:
I suppose you are wondering why I wanted all of us to get together tonight. I promise, I wouldn’t take up your time if I didn’t think it was very important.
Madeline:
Well, that makes me feel
a lot
better. So what do you have to tell us?
Viktor:
And make it fast. Some of us have work to do, you know.
Jeffery:
All right. Here it goes. I’ll make it fast and simple. When was the last time any of us went out of the Burrow?
[silence]
Heather:
I remember the other day, I almost went out, but then something happened so I didn’t.
Madeline:
The same thing happened to me. I was about to go out, I think to a place I know about that sells gourmet foods and spices, when somebody interrupted me just when I was about to turn the knob, so I wound up postponing it. Was it you, Jeffery?
Viktor:
It certainly wasn’t me. Though I personally see no need to go out at all.
Jeffery:
Fair enough, but has it ever occurred to you that far from being satisfied tenants, we may be prisoners?
[general dismay]
Jeffery:
Think about it: Food arrives. Ray here gets chunks of wood and we have the Internet, but nobody goes anywhere. For all we know, we may as well be dead. And while we may not want to go out at the moment, someday we might, and I think it’s better to know the situation now than when it’s too late. Oh, and there’s one other possibility I thought of as well. Are any of you hiding as a part of some kind of federal program? You can tell me. It will go no further.
Madeline:
Jeffery, nobody here is hiding out from anything, but why don’t you just walk yourself over to the door and try to open it. It can’t be that hard.
Jeffery:
As a matter of fact, I did try, and more than once, and every time something came up to make me change my mind. I mean, I started with the full intention of walking out that door, and all of a sudden I was doing something else. It’s like I have no control over my actions at all when it comes to that door.
Viktor:
So why did you ask us here? Was it just to tell us about your problem? What’s the point?
RAYMOND stands as if he’s going to leave, then sits back down again.
Jeffery:
It’s simple. Here’s what I thought: Just to be sure I’m not making all this up, I thought that if we all walked to the door together, we could all go outside, and then, if anybody wanted to, they could turn around and go back inside again. I mean — we wouldn’t really have to leave the Burrow. It would just be a way to prove to ourselves that we can leave if we want to, and we would wind up feeling better.
Viktor:
You mean
you
would wind up feeling better.
Heather:
But suppose, if we are under some sort of spell or something, that once we left we couldn’t get back inside.
Raymond:
Suppose I walked out, leaving all my decoys, and then I couldn’t get back to them again.
RAYMOND starts to stand, but JEFFERY pushes him gently down.
Madeline:
Sit, Raymond. Actually, Jeffery, you have a point. If we are under some kind of spell — which I doubt — it would be better to know about it before it’s too late. Why don’t we try Jeffery’s idea, but when we go to the door, everyone should bring along the one thing they can’t do without. That way, if somehow we
are
locked out for some reason, we’ll be together, and at least we wouldn’t be starting everything over again from scratch.