Pam looked around. Where’s Earl?
SEMIAUTOMATIC GARLIC-PARMESAN POPCORN
serves 8
½ cup (1 stick) unsalted butter
2 garlic cloves, minced
½ teaspoon sweet paprika
½ teaspoon salt, plus more to taste
3 tablespoons olive oil
1 cup popcorn kernels
¾ cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 In a small saucepot over medium heat, melt the butter with the garlic, paprika, and salt. Cook for 1 minute, until the garlic is fragrant. Remove from the heat.
2 In a stock or pasta pot with a tight-fitting cover, over medium-high heat, add the olive oil and let heat for 30 seconds. Add the popcorn. When you begin to hear the kernels popping, shake the pan. Continue shaking the pan frequently to avoid burning. When the popping slows, remove from the heat and transfer to a large bowl. Drizzle with the garlic butter and Parmesan cheese. Toss to combine, adjust seasoning as needed, and enjoy.
Popcorn is rich in polyphenols, but be sure any walkers are out of earshot before enjoying.
PRETTY MUCH FED ALREADY
Ronnie had gone out alone to search for her little brother. She was sick of being bossed by her mother, so she’d sneaked off. But now she was getting hungry.
She spotted Earl’s SpongeBob backpack in a ditch by the road. In it she found half of an energy bar her mother had made to keep him quiet. How far could a second-grader go on half an energy bar?
As the sun sank lower, Ronnie grew tired. There was a playground off to the right and she sat down on a swing to eat what was left of the energy bar.
A faint shuffling sound came from a playhouse next to the sandbox. She stood up.
“Earl?” she called.
From the house emerged a tiny shape, a child much smaller than Earl, trailing a doll.
No, it wasn’t a doll. It was somebody else’s arm.
The toddler walker kept falling over and couldn’t make much progress toward Ronnie.
Then a second child came out of the house. Another walker, larger, missing an arm.
It was her little brother. And as usual he was trying to bite her.
Ronnie drew a breath. She wanted to cry. Oh, you little pest. My stupid little pest.
She pulled the long string from her hood and ran toward Earl. She tried to tempt him with the energy bar.
“Come on, Earl. I brought you some food.”
He was clutching something. When she got close she could see he had two long, fuzzy ears in his remaining hand, and his chin dripped with blood.
He was eating a bunny.
“Ewww! Earl, how could you? You are so disgusting.”
TILL-YOU-DROP CHOCOLATE-CHERRY ENERGY BARS
makes 16 squares
2 cups walnuts, pecans, or cashews
⅓ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
¼ teaspoon salt
1½ cups pitted dates
1 cup dried cherries
1 cup granola
1 Place the nuts in a food processor and blend on high until they are finely ground.
2 Add the cocoa powder and salt. Pulse to combine.
3 Add the dates one at a time through the feed tube of the food processor while it is running. Add the dried cherries while the processor is running.
4 Press the mixture into an 8-by-8-inch pan and sprinkle with granola, pressing and pushing it into the cocoa mixture so it adheres. Place in the freezer or fridge for at least an hour or until firm. Cut into 16 squares and store in an airtight container in the fridge.
Pack healthy goodies. A treat can keep children well behaved while you’re busy saving them from reanimated corpses.
WINGS OF DISASTER
Pam tossed a live chicken to Earl. The boy arched up and caught the cloud of feathers with his teeth. His mouth closed on the hen’s breast, gave it a violent shake, and came away dripping red.
She wasn’t surprised that he had turned. Earl had always been the first to catch whatever was going around the playground.
None of them could bear to end his existence, even as a walker, so they caught small animals to keep him calm. They were all exhausted from climbing trees to shake recently feral chickens from their roosts.
She watched him eat the still-moving bird and sighed. “I wish you could have the childhood I had,” she said. “I wish you could play hide-and-seek, make mud pies, run free in the woods…”
As a girl she had felt free in the woods—away from awkwardness and people, away from their demands.
One day she had wandered deeper than usual into the woods near her house, when she saw a boy in a sleeveless shirt aiming a gun at a tree. He fired and a squirrel fell out of the tree.
He laid the squirrel gently on a log, then took a hatchet and chopped off its head. He started to open it up to skin it. He yanked out a couple of bits and ate them. She couldn’t stop watching.
A twig snapped under her foot, and he caught her. Hiding his meal behind his back, he yelled at her to get the hell out of there.
She had no idea why, but she’d asked him to give it to her. She’d cooked it up for him. That was her way of making friends.
A helicopter roared overhead, making them jump. It appeared to release a cloud of fire on the town just over the ridge.
Had it come to this? Napalm, like some kind of pest control? Pam decided they had to get away from “civilization” as fast as possible.
Once Earl had gobbled his fill, they tied him up again and bundled him inside the truck with a sack over his head.
Trey eyed the chicken’s wings, still twitching on the carcass.
“You know,” he said to Pam, “we probably won’t want to waste those.”
NAPALM SPICY CHICKEN WINGS
serves 6 to 8
3 pounds chicken wings, patted dry with paper towels
Coarse kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons peanut or vegetable oil, plus more to fry
6 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
2 to 3 tablespoons honey
¼ cup Sriracha or hot sauce
2 limes, zested and juiced, plus lime wedges for serving
1 Place the chicken wings in a large bowl and season generously with salt and pepper. Refrigerate, uncovered, for at least 30 minutes and up to 24 hours.
2 Preheat the oven to 400°F. Spread the chicken wings on a rimmed baking sheet in a single layer and drizzle with 2 tablespoons of the oil. Place in the oven and roast until the chicken wings are firm but not fully cooked through, about 20 minutes.
3 In a small saucepan over medium heat, melt the butter. Whisk in honey, Sriracha, and lime zest and simmer for 1 minute. Stir in lime juice and remove from the heat. Season with salt and pepper.
4 Using a large pot, pour in enough of the vegetable oil to reach 5 inches up the sides. Place over high heat and heat the oil until it registers 375°F (190°C) on a deep-fry thermometer.