“It is, but are you sure you can afford it?” Julian asked, a little awkwardly, not wanting to embarrass his dad.
Robert wafted his words away. “When it comes to business you need to look the part if you want to be taken seriously.” With a wink, he added, “And besides, it’s tax deductible.”
Julian looked the car over while his dad went off to collect the keys. When he returned, he handed him them and the car ownership documents, saying, “No driving too fast on the forest roads and no jumping red lights. I don’t want anymore trips to the hospital this week. Okay?”
“Okay. Thanks for this, Dad.” Julian would’ve liked to say more, tell him how grateful he was for everything he’d done for him, maybe even hug him or something. But he didn’t know how. “You want to go for a spin?”
Robert shook his head. “I’ve got a few details to sort out here. I’ll see you back at home.”
Julian drove extra carefully back to town — not because of what his dad had said, the last thing he needed was to be pulled over with a quart of whisky sloshing around inside him. He didn’t go home, he went to the Hill’s house. Mike Hill came to the door. “Hello, Julian, what can I do for you?”
“I’m here to see Eleanor.”
A frown of surprise creased the journalist’s forehead. With a quick glance over his shoulder, he said in a hushed voice, “I thought we’d agreed you’d stay away from Ellie for now.”
“I know, but things have changed.”
“How have they changed? Have you found something out about Mia Bradshaw?”
Julian shook his head. “Thing is, me and Eleanor, well, we’ve decided to get back together.” Mike didn’t look pleased. Bolstered by alcohol, Julian didn’t care. “Is she in?”
“Yes.”
“Can I go up and see her?”
Mike stretched his arm across the doorway. “I’ve got to say, I’m disappointed in you, Julian.”
“Well you’ve got no right to be,” Eleanor said sharply, descending the stairs behind her dad. “Julian would’ve done as he promised, if I hadn’t convinced him not to. I’m the one who should be disappointed — disappointed in you. You had no right to interfere in my life like that. I’m not a child.”
“You’re right,” agreed Mike. “You’re not a child, but you’re not an adult yet either.”
“I’m eighteen. In the eyes of the law, I’m an adult.”
“In the eyes of the law, yes, but not in my eyes. In my eyes, you’re still my baby girl. Do you understand?”
Her eyes softening to their usual tenderness, Eleanor sighed and nodded. “But you’ve got to understand something too, Dad. I love Julian and want to be with him no matter what.”
“And does he feel the same?” Mike shot a narrow glance at Julian. “I mean, he left you once before, what’s to stop him doing it again?”
“I’m not going anywhere,” said Julian. “I’m here, and I’m staying here.”
“Well Ellie’s not. She’s going to university in September. What’ll you do then?”
“I’m not definitely going,” said Eleanor. “I might put it off a year, reapply somewhere closer to home.”
Mike’s eyes widened in disapproving surprise. “What? You can’t be serious. You’ve been accepted into one of the best universities in-”
“I don’t want to talk about this now,” Eleanor cut him off.
“Well I do. You’re talking about putting your future in jeopardy over some boy who, well, to put it frankly, who isn’t worth it.”
Spots of colour came into Eleanor’s cheeks. Pursing her lips as if to contain her anger, she turned to Julian. “Want to go for a walk?”
“Sure.”
Avoiding her dad’s gaze, Eleanor moved off to fetch her shoes. Eyes hard with worry, Mike leant in close to Julian. “If anything happens to her, I’ll hold you responsible.” His voice was low and heavy with intent, almost threatening.
Even through all the alcohol in his system, Julian felt a little surge of adrenaline. Blinking, he dropped his gaze from Mike’s. Eleanor pushed past her dad and, taking hold of Julian’s hand, drew him away from the door. “This isn’t over,” Mike called after them. “We’re going to talk about this.”
Eleanor ignored him. “Sorry about that,” she said to Julian. “He didn’t mean what he said, he was just angry.”
“Don’t worry about it.” Mike’s comments hadn’t offended Julian. In fact, he agreed with them. He showed her his car. “Want to go for a drive?”
Eleanor shook her head. “Let’s just walk.”
Hand in hand, they wandered along until they came to the lane that led to the hay-barn. Eleanor looked at Julian meaningfully. “Do you want to go that way?”
“Do you?”
Eleanor nodded. Julian’s heart beat in time to their quickening footsteps as they made their way to the stile at the end of the lane. Beyond was a meadow, hazy in the evening light. They ran through the long grass to the barn, which was stacked half-full of bales of hay. Julian hesitated in the grass-smelling gloom. “Are you sure about this?”
“Completely.”
They pulled out some hay and lay on it, face to face, each waiting for the other to make the first move. “I haven’t been with anyone else since we broke up,” said Eleanor.
“There was this girl at uni,” Julian admitted, guilt tingling through him. He added quickly, “It was nothing serious.”
Eleanor smiled, reaching to push her hand through his hair. “There’s no need to explain, Jules.”
Her words strengthened rather than eased his guilt. “Your dad was right, you know, about university and about me.”
“Shh.”
Julian made a low noise of pleasure as Eleanor dragged her nails gently across his scalp. Blood pounding in his head and groin, he rested his hand on her thigh, moved it over the curve of her waist and drew her close. She wrinkled her nose. “Have you been drinking?”
Not replying, Julian dipped his chin to kiss her neck. “Mmm,” she purred, arching her head. He worked his way up to her mouth. As their lips met, he closed his eyes. The instant he did so a face flashed into his mind — a cute, girl-next-door face with baby-blue eyes framed by sandy blonde-hair. With a start, he snapped open his eyes, passing his hand over them as if to swipe the image away.
“What’s wrong?” asked Eleanor, a slight frown marring the smoothness of her forehead.
“Nothing.”
“Listen, we don’t have to do this if-”
“No, I want to,” Julian interjected with sudden resolve. The dreams already ruled his nights, he wasn’t about to let them rule his days too. Cupping his fingers around Eleanor’s chin, he kissed her again. He couldn’t bring himself to close his eyes, though. She threw her leg over him, rolling so she straddled him. As she bent forward, her hair blinded him. Again, the image burst upon his consciousness, vivid as a living being. Like a physical force, it reached out to him from the dark, accompanied by a surge of lust so intense, so raw, it shook him to his core. Gasping, he brushed Eleanor’s hair away. Light rushed in, but the image remained, as if it’d been branded on his retinas. Before he even realised what he was doing, he’d flipped Eleanor onto her back, pinning her arms.
“Hey, take it easy,” she said.
He didn’t see Eleanor anymore. He only saw the face in his mind, the blue eyes swollen and wet with fear. There was no light in his eyes as he bent to run his tongue roughly over Eleanor’s cheek. “Stop, I don’t like that,” she said. He didn’t stop. He felt drugged, powerless to resist the white-hot scour of his desire. She tried to squirm out from under him, but his hands were on her like iron, pulling at her clothes, grinding into her crotch.
“No, Julian. I said no!” Eleanor brought her knee up hard between Julian’s legs. The pain that exploded in his groin blotted out everything else. With an agonised groan, he rolled off her and lay crumpled in a heap. “What the fuck’s the matter with you?” she demanded to know, glaring at him.
“I’m losing it,” said Julian, speaking more to himself than Eleanor. He started shaking his head and banging his forehead with his fist. “I’m losing my fucking mind.”
“Stop that.”