He put me on the saddle and leapt up beside me.
I am not sure how much I struggled. I did not entirely want to. Hessenfield’s adventurous spirit called to mine but I kept seeing Benjie’s face and I pictured him stricken as he would be if he knew that I had willingly gone away.
It was only a mile or so to the coast. There was a crescent moon which gave out a faint light and I could see the Eyot lying out there on a sea that was as calm as a lake.
He gave a low whistle and I saw a figure appear from the beach. It was a man who had evidently been lurking there.
“All well, sir,” said the man.
“Good,” replied Hessenfield.
He dismounted and lifted me down. The man took the horse and as Hessenfield dragged me over the shingle I heard the horse being ridden away at a gallop.
A small boat was bobbing about on the sea. A man was holding the oars, waiting.
We waded out to it the water up to our waists before reaching it. Hessenfield lifted me in.
“Lose no time,” said Hessenfield.
The man started to row out towards the Eyot. There was silence. Then Hessenfield said: “Faster. They’re on the beach. By God, we were just in time.”
I could see vague figures on the beach. A shot was fired. It narrowly missed the boat.
“We’ll soon be out of range,” said Hessenfield.
“We should have been well away but for your romantic adventures,” said the man.
“I know. But we’re going to be well away in any case. We’re nearly there.” We had rounded the island and I saw the ship.
“Safe!” said Hessenfield.
We came to rest by the side of the ship, a rope ladder was put down, I was sent up first. Hands reached out to drag me in.
Then in a few seconds Hessenfield was standing beside me.
He put his arm about me and laughed.
“Mission accomplished!” he said. “The most successful I ever carried out. We’d better leave at once. Come,” he went on, “you want to see our daughter.”
She was lying there asleep clutching her shuttlecock. I stooped over her and held her close to me.
She awoke.
“Mamma,” she said.
“Yes, darling …”
She opened her eyes wide.
“I’m on a big ship,” she said. “I’ve got a new father.”
Hessenfield knelt beside us.
“And you’re quite pleased with him, are you not? Tell your mother so.”
“He’s going to give me a new shuttlecock,” she said.
“You haven’t told her you’re pleased with me,” persisted Hessenfield.
She sat up and put her arms about his neck.
“This is his ship,” she said. “He’s going to show me how it sails.”
Crime Passionnel
I WAS THRUST INTO an entirely new scene. At the beginning it was so bewildering that I was more or less bemused by it. In the first place I had renewed that extremely demanding, satisfying, exhilarating and incomparable life with Hessenfield. We resumed it as though it had never been interrupted; and although at first I pretended to be outraged. Hessenfield quickly put an end to that and made me admit, if not in actual words, that I was as enchanted with his company as he was with mine.
It was not unalloyed joy, of course, for it could not be quite as it had been on that first occasion. Although I cannot make any great excuses for myself and have to admit that I was secretly delighted to have been abducted, seduced, raped or whatever name I could put to it when I was trying to make a case for myself, I can honestly say that I felt a deep remorse for what I had done to Benjie and I was glad that I had left my cloak in the shrubbery, which would indicate that I had been taken by force. At least he would not believe that I had gone willingly; and although his grief would not be assuaged, at least he would not think that I had betrayed him.
Poor Benjie, he had lost both me and Clarissa, and I could not be happy because I must think of him.
The crossing was smooth and in a short time we had reached the coast of France.
Clarissa was excited by everything that was happening and, childlike, accepted this extraordinary adventure as a matter of course. She did ask once when her father and grandfather were coming with Harriet. I said evasively that we should have to wait and see.
“I want to show them my new father,” she said, and the pride in her voice both thrilled and pained me.
We had journeyed across France staying at various inns and it surprised me how well known Hessenfield was. The best rooms were always at his service and now he was travelling, as he said, enfamille he was especially determined on comfort.
The man who had rowed us to the boat travelled with us. He was Sir Henry Campion, a firm and trusted friend, Hessenfield told me. “A loyal Jacobite as you must be now, my darling, since you have joined us.”
I was silent. I wished that I could forget Benjie and the unhappiness I knew he must be feeling. I thought if it was not for Benjie I would be wildly excited now. I wished that I had not married Benjie. If I had been bold and given birth to my child and waited …
But that was absurd, of course. I had had to act as I did. I think even Hessenfield realised that.
Once he said: “I should never have let you stay. I should have taken you to France with me from the first.”
But Hessenfield was not one to look back. He had a joyous way of living each day as it came along. I doubt he ever felt remorse. There was an enchanting gaiety about him, a devil-may-care attitude. He would be laughing when he died, I was sure.
He was completely captivated by Clarissa. I was surprised that he should care so deeply for a child. But I suppose it was because she was his; she was so charming and she was beautiful. There was a love of adventure in her already, an immense curiosity in everything around her. I could see why any ordinary father should have been proud of her but that Hessenfield should have spared the time from all his activities to talk to her gave me infinite pleasure.
We went first to Paris. He had prepared me for what I should find and how we should live. “The Court is at St. Germain-en-Laye. The King inhabits the castle there; and it is conducted just as it would be in England. I am there a good deal but I have a house—called an hôtel—in Paris, for much of my work is done there. That is where you and the child will live, but of course as my wife you will be presented to the King and we will go to Court often.”
“As your wife!” I said.
“You are my wife, dear Carlotta. Oh, I know you were unfortunately married to someone else … but that was in England. We are in France at this time. And you are my lady now. You will have to grow accustomed to being called Lady Hessenfield.”
He took my face in his hands and kissed me.
“I love you, Carlotta. There is that in you which matches something in me. I feel closer to you than I ever have to anyone else. We have our adorable daughter. Thank God, I have you with me.”
I looked into his face. He was serious, not joking now. He really meant what he said and it made me happy. If I could have forgotten Benjie I think I could have been perfectly so.
On another occasion he said: “You are an exile now. You are one of us. Although you have come to us not exactly through your own convictions, you and I belong and my cause must be yours. Our motive is to get back to England. Who wants to be an exile forever? Whenever I go home I have to do so in secret … skulking into my own country like a thief. There is a price on my head. I who have estates in the north of England, where my family have lived like kings. Yes, we are going back one day but not until we have reinstated the rightful King. I would not return to live under the present reign.”