I was delighted because I wanted Clarissa to retain her English characteristics. I was always hoping that we should return to England. I wanted to see my mother, and Damaris was on my conscience a great deal. She and Benjie were like two reproachful shadows who would appear at any moment to cloud my happiness.
I believed, and so did a good many other people, that when Anne died James would be invited to come back. That was the time we were all looking forward to. Anne was a sick woman; surely she could not live very long. She had that fearful dropsy which made it difficult for her to walk; and she had long given up hope of producing an heir.
So when we did go I wanted my daughter to be English. She could already chatter a little in French, which she did with the servants. That was good but her main tongue must be English.
Therefore I was delighted to engage Mary Marton, and when Clarissa seemed to take to her that settled it. Clarissa of course took to everyone; she had the beautiful notion that everybody in the world loved her and therefore she must love them. I would have liked to have taken that up with some of those who had declared she was spoilt. Spoiling perhaps had its point. It had certainly turned my child into an extremely affectionate one.
Hessenfield was delighted that we had found our nursery governess so quickly. He was beginning to talk to me about his plans and how members of his society were constantly going back and forth to England and that when the day came for the great invasion it would be known where they could most safely land and how many people they could rely on.
There was a tremendous project in progress at that time. Several men were going over to land arms and ammunition. They knew where it could safely be deposited. It would be left in the possession of trusted Jacobites who lived in England posing as loyal subjects of the Queen.
“There will be these strongholds throughout the country,” he explained to me. “We already have one or two but the one we are now planning will be the most important so far.”
“You are not going …?” I said fearfully.
“Not this time. I have work to do here.”
I was thankful for that.
It was two weeks or so after Mary Marton joined us when Jeanne, one of the maids, came in to tell me that a gentleman was asking to see me.
“Who?” I asked.
“Madame, he would give no name. He is an English gentleman.”
“A … a stranger?” I asked.
“I have not seen him before, Madame.”
I said he should be shown in.
My amazement was great when Matt Pilkington entered.
“Matt!” I cried.
He looked at me helplessly.
“Carlotta,” he said, and coming forward seized both my hands. “I know I shouldn’t have come … but I couldn’t help it. I had to see you again …”
“Matt!” I cried. “How could you? How did you get here …?”
“It was not too difficult,” he said. “I came on a boat … landing along the coast, and made my way to Paris.”
“You are mad. England is at war … and you are a soldier. You’re in enemy territory.”
“Yes, I know. I know all that … but I had to see you. I heard, you see.”
“What did you hear?”
“That you had been forcibly taken away.”
I felt an immense relief. So that was what they believed.
“I called at the house … at Eyot Abbass. You remember I was not very far off … at the Fiddlers Rest … And they were all talking about it. About you and the child … I had to come here and see if it was true … to see you again …”
“You are in great danger.”
He shook his head. “I have long had Jacobite sympathies,” he said. “They know it. I am welcome here. They want everyone they can get. I am in no danger, Carlotta. I came to see you …”
“You must not come here, you know.”
“You are with him. They say you are Lady Hessenfield.”
“It is easier that way.”
“But your husband …?”
“Did you see him?”
“Yes. He was very sad. He was talking of coming over here. But that is impossible only Jacobites are welcome.”
“Did you tell them you were coming?”
“No. They would know where my sympathies lie. I had to be secret about it. I slipped away. But I have friends over here so … I am all right.”
I sighed. Then I said: “You mustn’t come here again, Matt. That … incident … it is all over. It was a momentary madness … do you understand?”
“On your part, yes,” he said. “For me it is my most precious memory.”
“Oh, no, Matt.”
“It is no use, Carlotta. I don’t want to hurt you, or embarrass you in any way. I just want to see you sometimes … to be near you. I promise you … I swear it … that I will never mention that time. If I could just be here … see you sometimes … it’s all I ask. I just want to know that you are here. You are so beautiful. More than that. You are an enchantress. Carlotta, you owe me this. Let me come here sometimes. Let me see you. Please.”
I said: “Well, I suppose if you are one of them and are working for them you will see Lord Hessenfield from time to time.”
“It is you I wish to see. And the child. She is so like you, Carlotta. I should like to see her too.”
“Where are you staying?”
“In the rue Saint Jacques. It was the best lodging I could get just now. I shall move later, I daresay. Carlotta, let me be your friend. Let me see you sometimes.”
“Matt, if you will promise me to forget all that …”
“I can’t promise to forget,” he said fervently, “but I will promise never to mention it to you nor to anyone. If I can come here now and then … see you from time to time … that is all I ask.”
I said he might. I was shaken. He was gentle and adoring as ever, but there was so much of which I did not want to be reminded.
During the next few weeks Matt was a frequent caller at the house. He made a point of seeing Clarissa and they got on very well together. I thought he did it just to have an excuse for calling at the house; but it occurred to me that Mary Marton might believe that he was attracted by her.
It would be quite a likely assumption. He talked to her a good deal and they often took the child walking in the streets; the servants were beginning to smile about them and whisper of romance.
I was delighted but I did not believe he was really attracted by Mary. Whenever I was near him I was aware of the effect I had on him.
Hessenfield said that he was an enthusiastic worker and had brought some valuable information about the position of the Jacobites in England.
“He has been working well for us in England,” he said. “He was just waiting for the right moment to come over here.”
I was not so sure of his fervent views. I was vain enough to think that he had come to see me.
He kept to his bargain, though. He never mentioned that time we had spent together and I was glad that everyone thought he was interested in Mary Marton, although I did hope that Mary, who was a sweet and rather innocent girl, was not going to be hurt. Sometimes, though, I thought he really was fond of her. It was not necessary for them to spend quite so much time together.
Hessenfield was often at court. I knew there was some very big project afoot.
At night when we lay in bed together he would be less discreet than he was by day. I knew that he was tense and uneasy.
He did tell me that this was going to be the most important venture so far.
“I know you are taking arms over to England,” I said.
“Did I tell you that? Then forget it, my dear.”
“You didn’t tell me where.”