I went back to the store. It was half past three almost. Dam little time to do anything in, but then I am used to that. I never had to go to Harvard to learn that. The band had quit playing. Got them all inside now, and they wouldn't have to waste any more wind. Earl says,
"He found you, did he? He was in here with it a while ago. I thought you were out back somewhere."
"Yes," I says. "I got it. They couldn't keep it away from me all afternoon. The town's too small. I've got to go out home a minute," I says. "You can dock me if it'll make you feel any better."
"Go ahead," he says. "I can handle it now. No bad news, I hope."
"You'll have to go to the telegraph office and find that out," I says. "They'll have time to tell you. I haven't."
"I just asked," he says. "Your mother knows she can depend on me."
"She'll appreciate it," I says. "I wont be gone any longer than I have to."
"Take your time," he says. "I can handle it now. You go ahead."
I got the car and went home. Once this morning, twice at noon, and now again, with her and having to chase all over town and having to beg them to let me eat a little of the food I am paying for. Sometimes I think what's the use of anything. With the precedent I've been set I must be crazy to keep on. And now I reckon I'll get home just in time to take a nice long drive after a basket of tomatoes or something and then have to go back to town smelling like a camphor factory so my head wont explode right on my shoulders. I keep telling her there's not a dam thing in that aspirin except flour and water for imaginary invalids. I says you dont know what a headache is. I says you think I'd fool with that dam car at all if it depended on me. I says I can get along without one I've learned to get along without lots of things but if you want to risk yourself in that old wornout surrey with a halfgrown nigger boy all right because I says God looks after Ben's kind, God knows He ought to do something for him but if you think I'm going to trust a thousand dollars' worth of delicate machinery to a halfgrown nigger or a grown one either, you'd better buy him one yourself because I says you like to ride in the car and you know you do.
Dilsey said she was in the house. I went on into the hall and listened, but I didn't hear anything. I went up stairs, but just as I passed her door she called me.
"I just wanted to know who it was," she says. "I'm here alone so much that I hear every sound."
"You dont have to stay here," I says. "You could spend the whole day visiting like other women, if you wanted to." She came to the door.
"I thought maybe you were sick," she says. "Having to hurry through your dinner like you did."
"Better luck next time," I says. "What do you want?"
"Is anything wrong?" she says.
"What could be?" I says. "Cant I come home in the middle of the afternoon without upsetting the whole house?"
"Have you seen Quentin?" she says.
"She's in school," I says.
"It's after three," she says. "I heard the clock strike at least a half an hour ago. She ought to be home by now."
"Ought she?" I says. "When have you ever seen her before dark?"
"She ought to be home," she says. "When I was a girl--"
"You had somebody to make you behave yourself," I says. "She hasn't."
"I cant do anything with her," she says. "I've tried and I've tried."
"And you wont let me, for some reason," I says. "So you ought to be satisfied." I went on to my room. I turned the key easy and stood there until the knob turned. Then she says,
"Jason."
"What," I says.
"I just thought something was wrong."
"Not in here," I says. "You've come to the wrong place."
"I dont mean to worry you," she says.
"I'm glad to hear that," I says. "I wasn't sure. I thought I might have been mistaken. Do you want anything?"
After a while she says, "No. Not any thing." Then she went away. I took the box down and counted out the money and hid the box again and unlocked the door and went out. I thought about the camphor, but it would be too late now, anyway. And I'd just have one more round trip. She was at her door, waiting.
"You want anything from town?" I says.
"No," she says. "I dont mean to meddle in your affairs. But I dont know what I'd do if anything happened to you, Jason."
"I'm all right," I says. "Just a headache."
"I wish you'd take some aspirin," she says. "I know you're not going to stop using the car."
"What's the car got to do with it?" I says. "How can a car give a man a headache?"
"You know gasoline always made you sick," she says. "Ever since you were a child. I wish you'd take some aspirin."
"Keep on wishing it," I says. "It wont hurt you."
I got in the car and started back to town. I had just turned onto the street when I saw a ford coming helling toward me. All of a sudden it stopped. I could hear the wheels sliding and it slewed around and backed and whirled and just as I was thinking what the hell they were up to, I saw that red tie. Then I recognised her face looking back through the window. It whirled into the alley. I saw it turn again, but when I got to the back street it was just disappearing, running like hell.
I saw red. When I recognised that red tie, after all I had told her, I forgot about everything. I never thought about my head even until I came to the first forks and had to stop. Yet we spend money and spend money on roads and dam if it isn't like trying to drive over a sheet of corrugated iron roofing. I'd like to know how a man could be expected to keep up with even a wheelbarrow. I think too much of my car; I'm not going to hammer it to pieces like it was a ford. Chances were they had stolen it, anyway, so why should they give a dam. Like I say blood always tells. If you've got blood like that in you, you'll do anything. I says whatever claim you believe she has on you has already been discharged; I says from now on you have only yourself to blame because you know what any sensible person would do. I says if I've got to spend half my time being a dam detective, at least I'll go where I can get paid for it.
So I had to stop there at the forks. Then I remembered it. It felt like somebody was inside with a hammer, beating on it. I says I've tried to keep you from being worried by her; I says far as I'm concerned, let her go to hell as fast as she pleases and the sooner the better. I says what else do you expect except every dam drummer and cheap show that comes to town because even these town jellybeans give her the go-by now. You dont know what goes on I says, you dont hear the talk that I hear and you can just bet I shut them up too. I says my people owned slaves here when you all were running little shirt tail country stores and farming land no nigger would look at on shares.
If they ever farmed it. It's a good thing the Lord did something for this country; the folks that live on it never have. Friday afternoon, and from right here I could see three miles of land that hadn't even been broken, and every able bodied man in the county in town at that show. I might have been a stranger starving to death, and there wasn't a soul in sight to ask which way to town even. And she trying to get me to take aspirin. I says when I eat bread I'll do it at the table. I says you always talking about how much you give up for us when you could buy ten new dresses a year on the money you spend for those dam patent medicines. It's not something to cure it I need it's just an even break not to have to have them but as long as I have to work ten hours a day to support a kitchen full of niggers in the style they're accustomed to and send them to the show where every other nigger in the county, only he was late already. By the time he got there it would be over.
After a while he got up to the car and when I finally got it through his head if two people in a ford had passed him, he said yes. So I went on, and when I came to where the wagon road turned off I could see the tire tracks. Ab Russell was in his lot, but I didn't bother to ask him and I hadn't got out of sight of his barn hardly when I saw the ford. They had tried to hide it. Done about as well at it as she did at everything else she did. Like I say it's not that I object to so much; maybe she cant help that, it's because she hasn't even got enough consideration for her own family to have any discretion. I'm afraid all the time I'll run into them right in the middle of the street or under a wagon on the square, like a couple of dogs.