“If there is not enough market for this treatment to autistic persons, what else is it good for?” Linda asks. I wish she had not changed the subject back to before, but it is too late. Mr. Aldrin’s face relaxes a little.
I have an idea, but it is not clear yet. “Mr. Crenshaw said he would be willing to keep us on without the treatment if we gave up the support services, isn’t that right?”
“Yes, why?”
“So… he would like to have what we — what autistic persons — are good at without the things we are not good at.”
Mr. Aldrin’s brow wrinkles. It is the movement that shows confusion. “I suppose,” he says slowly. “But I’m not sure what that has to do with the treatment.”
“Somewhere in the original article is the profit,” I say to Mr. Aldrin. “Not changing autistic persons — there are no more kids born like we were born, not in this country. There are not enough of us. But something we do is valuable enough that if normal people could do it, that would be profitable.” I think of that time in my office when for a few moments the meaning of the symbols, the beautiful intricacy of the patterns of data, went away and left me confused and distracted. “You have watched us work for years now; you must know what it is—”
“Your ability in pattern analysis and math, you know that.”
“No — you said Mr. Crenshaw said the new software could do that as well. It is something else.”
“I still want to know about your brother,” Linda says.
Aldrin closes his eyes, refusing contact. I was scolded for doing just that. He opens them again. “You’re… relentless,” he says. “You just don’t quit.”
The pattern forming in my mind, the light and dark shifting and circling, begins to cohere. But it is not enough; I need more data.
“Explain the money,” I say to Aldrin.
“Explain… what?”
“The money. How does the company make money to pay us?”
“It’s… very complicated, Lou. I don’t think you could understand.”
“Please try. Mr. Crenshaw claims we cost too much, that the profits suffer. Where do the profits really come from?”
CHAPTER TEN
Mr. Aldrin just stares at me. Finally he says, “I don’t know how to say it, Lou, because I don’t know what the process is, exactly, or what it could do if applied to someone who isn’t autistic.”
“Can’t you even—”
“And… and I don’t think I should be talking about this. Helping you is one thing…” He has not helped us yet. Lying to us is not helping us. “But speculating about something that doesn’t exist, speculating that the company is contemplating some broader action that may be… that could be construed as…” He stops and shakes his head without finishing the sentence. We are all looking at him. His eyes are very shiny, as if he were about to cry.
“I shouldn’t have come,” he says after a moment. “This was a big mistake. I’ll pay for the meal, but I have to go now.”
He pushes back his chair and gets up; I see him at the cash register with his back to us. None of us says anything until he has gone out the front door.
“He’s crazy,” Chuy says.
“He’s scared,” Bailey says.
“He hasn’t helped us, not really,” Linda says. “I don’t know why he bothered—”
“His brother,” Cameron says.
“Something we said bothered him even more than Mr. Crenshaw or his brother,” I say.
“He knows something he doesn’t want us to know.” Linda brushes the hair off her forehead with an abrupt gesture.
“He doesn’t want to know it himself,” I say. I am not sure why I think that, but I do. It is something we said. I need to know what it was.
“There was something, back around the turn of the century,” Bailey says. “In one of the science journals, something about making people sort of autistic so they would work harder.”
“Science journal or science fiction?” I ask.
“It was — wait; I’ll look it up. I know somebody who will know.” Bailey makes a note on his handcomp.
“Don’t send it from the office,” Chuy says.
“Why-? Oh. Yes.” Bailey nods.
“Pizza tomorrow,” Linda says. “Coming here is normal.”
I open my mouth to say that Tuesday is my day to shop for groceries and shut it again. This is more important. I can go a week without groceries, or I can shop a little later.
“Everybody look up what you can find,” Cameron says.
At home, I log on and e-mail Lars. It is very late where he is, but he is awake. I find out that the original research was done in Denmark, but the entire lab, equipment and all, was bought up and the research base shifted to Cambridge. The paper I first heard about weeks ago was based on research done more than a year ago. Mr. Aldrin was right about that. Lars thinks much of the work to make the treatments human-compatible has been done; he speculates on secret military experiments. I do not believe this; Lars thinks everything is a secret military experiment. He is a very good game player, but I do not believe everything he says.
Wind rattles my windows. I get up and lay a hand on the glass. Much colder. A spatter of rain and then I hear thunder. It is late anyway; I shut down my system and go to bed.
Tuesday we do not speak to one another at work, other than “good morning” and “good afternoon.” I spend fifteen minutes in the gym when I finish another section of my project, but then I go back to work. Mr. Aldrin and Mr. Crenshaw both come by, not quite arm in arm, but as if they were friendly. They do not stay long, and they do not talk to me.
After work, we go back to the pizza place. “Two nights in a row!” says Hi-I’m-Sylvia. I cannot tell if she is happy or unhappy about that. We take our usual table but pull over another one so there is room for everybody.
“So?” Cameron says, after we’ve ordered. “What have we found out?”
I tell the group what Lars said. Bailey has found the text of the old article, which is clearly fiction and not nonfiction. I did not know that science journals ever published science fiction on purpose, and apparently it only happened for one year.
“It was supposed to make people really concentrate on an assigned project and not waste time on other things,” Bailey said.
“Like Mr. Crenshaw thinks we waste time?” I say.
Bailey nods.
“We don’t waste as much time as he wastes walking around looking angry,” Chuy says.
We all laugh, but quietly. Eric is drawing curlicues with his colored pens; they look like laughing sounds.
“Does it say how it was going to work?” Linda asks.
“Sort of,” Bailey says. “But I’m not sure the science is good. And that was decades ago. What they thought would work might not be what really works.”
“They don’t want autistic people like us,” Eric says. “They wanted — or the story said they wanted — savant talents and concentration without the other side effects. Compared to a savant we waste a lot of time, though not as much as Mr. Crenshaw thinks.”
“Normal people waste a lot of time on nonproductive things,” Cameron says. “At least as much as we do, maybe more.”
“It would take what to turn a normal person into a savant without the other problems?” Linda asks.
“I don’t know,” Cameron says. “They would have to be smart to start with. Good at something. Then they would have to want to do that instead of anything else.”
“It wouldn’t do any good if they wanted to do something they were bad at,” Chuy says. I imagine a person determined to be a musician who has no rhythm and no pitch sense; it is ridiculous. We all see the funny side of this and laugh.