And the Kinsmen and the men-at-arms, the Knights Royal, breathed in the new air, the new unnatural air, laden with strange essences, flavours of this crude, uncertain century. And they rode on without fear. The boys were back in town!
High in the stadium, Pooley gulped Scotch and wondered what was on the go. The Professor stood alone at the very centre of the stadium, but Kaleton was nowhere to be seen. The stadium was silent as the very grave and had just about as much to recommend it. For in the stillness there was something very bad indeed.
“By the pricking of my thumbs something wicked this way comes,” said Jim. And he wasn’t far wrong, for now came a chill wind and the sounds of distant thunder. Pooley gazed up towards the weatherdome, but it had completely dissolved away. The stadium was now open to the sky. Lightning troubled an ever-blackening firmament and the stars came and went as trailers of cloud drew across them like darting swords. “Looks like rain,” said Jim “which would just about be my luck at present.”
And then Jim saw it. The cruel dark shape cutting through the midnight sky. The great, crooked wings sweeping the air. The long narrow head, the trailing feet, eagle-taloned, lion-clawed. The thin, barbed tail streaming out behind. “The Griffin!” Pooley ducked down into his seat. Further praying seemed out of the question, God was no doubt sick of the sound of Jim’s voice. Pooley’s nose came into close proximity with the Gladstone bag. “The Professor!” Jim sprang up, scanned the arena, in search of the sage … the old man had vanished. “Oh dear,” said Jim, “oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!”
And now he could hear the sounds of the flapping wings and further shapes filled the sky. The legion of King Balin rode the sky above Brentford. The legion of the forever night, raised by the force-words of the arch-fiend Kaleton. And at the van upon that most terrible of beasts, rode Balin. “Balin of the black hood. Balin whose eye was night.” Balin whose sword blade was the length of a man, although considerably narrower in width. King Balin of the iron tooth, the bronze cheek, the ferrous-metal jaw. Balin, the all-round bad lot. King Balin led his evil horde down towards the army of his enemy.
“I am going to count to five and then I am going to shoot your head off,” said Inspectre Hovis. “I should like to say that there is nothing personal in this, but I would not lie to a condemned man.”
“Abracadabra Shillamalacca! Come out, come out, whoever you are!” cried Hugo Rune.
“One,” said Hovis, “and I mean it.”
“Shazam!” cried Rune. “Higgledy-piggledy, my fat hen …”
“Two, three …”
“I’ll huff and I’ll puff …”
“Four, fi…”
“Look there, sir!” shouted Constable Meek. “Up there, up in the sky!”
“Birds?” said Hovis, squinting up. “No, not birds, bats! No! Bloody hell!”
“And there, sir, who’s that?”
Hovis peered about, following the constables wavering digit. On one of the high catwalks of the gasometer a solitary figure was edging along, carrying what looked to be a couple of heavy suitcases. “What’s going on here?” Hovis demanded. “I demand an explanation!”
“What’s he doing, sir?” The solitary figure was lowering one of the suitcases down the side of the gasometer on a length of rope.
“Is this your doing, Rune? Rune, come back! Stop that man, Constable!”
“Blimey,” said Meek. “And will you look at that lot!”
Along the Kew Road came the army of King Bran, riding now at the gallop. The war-horses heaved and snorted, their hooves raising sparks from the tarmac. The riders turned their noble faces towards the sky and raised their swords. King Bran ran a tail-comb through his gorgeous locks and urged on his charger. “Giddy up, Dobbin!” he cried. “Good boy there, gee up!”
Constable John Harney brought down Hugo Rune with a spectacular rugby tackle. “Gotcha!” said he, quoting the now legendary headline from the Sun. It may not have been much, but considering it was all he was going to get to say in the entire book, at least it was something.
Hovis leapt up and down. “Arrest everybody!” he cried. “Get on the walkie-talkie, Meek. I want the SPG, the SAS, the reserves, the bloody Boys Brigade, get them all here!”
“Yes, sir.” Meek whipped out his walkie-talkie. “Calling all cars,” he said in his finest Broderick Crawford, “calling all cars.”
“Please, sir, about this suitcase?”
“What suitcase, what, Reekie?”
“This suitcase, sir.” Constable Reekie pointed to the thing which now dangled a few feet above his head.
“Arrest it, boy! Arrest that holidaymaker. That case is probably full of drugs.”
“It’s ticking rather loudly, sir.”
“Ticking? Oh my God!”
“Duck, you suckers!” called a voice from above. “Hit the deck!”
The army of King Bran reached the Arts Centre. From out the night sky their mortal enemies fell upon them. The dark creatures dropped down upon the horsemen, beaks snapping, claws crooked to kill. The legions of darkness led by their evil lord. Balin the bad. Balin with his brow of burnished copper. Balin with his nose of black lead, his navel of tungsten carbide and a rare alloy with a complicated chemical figure.
“No prisoners,” cried Balin. “Spare not a filling, not a spectacle-frame, kill them all, kill, kill, kill!”
“Kill, kill, kill!” echoed his men, spurring down their nightmare steeds.
“God for Harry!” cried King Bran.
Tic-Toc-Tic-Toc went a certain suitcase.
Professor Slocombe laid a hand upon Pooley’s shoulder. “I think I have him distracted,” he told the flinching, cowering Jim. “We must get to work.”
“All work and no play,” said Jim painfully. “The hours in this job suck.”
“But the pay is good. Come, Jim, bring the bag, we must penetrate to the heart of the stadium.”
“What’s going on downstairs?” Pooley asked, gesturing in a downwards direction. “I saw all these flying things and now it sounds like a terrible punch-up.”
“It is only just the beginning, come on.”
“Not quite so fast.” Kaleton rose up before them. “Don’t take another step.”
“Help is on the way, sir.” Constable Meek crawled over to Inspectre Hovis. “A Commander West is coming over in person. He’s bringing a special task-force. He seemed terribly upset, sir, do you know him?”
Hovis buried his face in the ground and thrashed about with his legs. “You’re all under arrest!” he foamed.
Tic-Toc-Tic-Toc-Tic-Toc went the suitcase.
“And now the end is near and you must face the final curtain,” said Kaleton. “Tomorrow belongs to me, you are yesterday once more.”
“I’ll name that tune,” said Jim.
“So die, puny earthlings!” Kaleton raised his crooked arms.
“Don’t do it! Stay back!” shouted the Professor. “Jim, the bag.”
Jim tossed the Gladstone to the old man. It sailed through the air and departed into the darkness. “Sorry,” said Jim. “I suppose that means we’re in trouble.”
“You could say that.”
Tongues of fire grew from Kaleton’s fingers, leapt into the sky, veered down towards the two men.
The armies of Bran and Balin locked in titanic conflict the length of the Ealing Road. Big and bad was the fighting, great and terrible the hewing, the war cries, the blood and the torment. There was cleaving and cutting, hacking and stabbing.
Old Pete turned in his sleep. “Get down, Chips,” he muttered.
“And so die!” called Kaleton as he stood amidst the raining fire.
“I arrest myself in the name of the law,” said Inspectre Hovis.