“I’m wondering the same thing myself,” Dr. Peerloin confessed. “And I’m wondering what it has to do with your high performance level and the project.”
“I’m coming to that. It all ties in. You’ll see.”
“Very well. Please continue. What did you tell Dr. Farndheit?”
“Well, what happens is I look at Marsha and say it looks like the jig is up, so should I level with the Doc? She says he’s been so nice that’s just what I should do ’cause we sort of owe it to him. So I level.” He took a deep breath.
“It was embarrassing,” Marsha remembered, speaking for the first time and shooting Dr. Peerloin a look that asked for understanding.
“That’s all right,” Dr. Peerloin assured her. “You don’t have to feel embarrassed with me. What was it you said when you leveled with Dr. Farndheit?” she added to the young man.
“Look, I told him, in the first place, were married, me and Marsha, but not to each other. In the second place, I tell him, the motels around here charge twelve bucks for a room and you only charge us five a visit. And in the last place, I say to the Doc, I get three of the five back from Blue Cross, and the other two I knock off my income tax!”
“What did Dr. Farndheit do then?” Dr. Peerloin asked.
“He sort of mulled it over a few minutes, and then he allowed as how he was going to have to raise his price for office visits. Seven bucks, he said. A few weeks later, he upped it to ten.”
“You mean that even after being informed of the circumstances, he continued to-—umm—treat you?”
“Sure.”
“How unethical!” Dr. Peerloin was shocked.
“Maybe. But I still come out ahead on what a motel would of cost.”
“The fact remains that he put his fee ahead of professional ethics.”
“I suppose so. And you don’t know yet how much of a money-grubber he was. See, when he got wind of this project here, he arranged for us to come here instead of his office. I come out even further ahead on the money end, but it sure does gripe me to have to kick back half of what you pay us to that bum!”
“Kick back—-!” Dr. ‘Peerloin was agitated. “I’ve heard of fee-splitting before,” she admitted, “but this is ridiculous!”
Later in the day, when Dr Peerloin had finished telling the story to Professor Woocheck, she repeated, that sentiment indignantly. “Ridiculous!” she summed up. “Unethical and ridiculous!”
“You are missing the point, Doctor,” the Professor told her. “We are scientists, not policemen. Our laboratory is no place for moral judgments. Dr. Famdheit’s actions in this matter really needn’t concern us. What is important is that you have uncovered the one factor which explains the discrepancy in performance. The couple is not married.”
“But they are! They’re just not married to each other!”
“That too is a factor which will bear investigation. But for the moment, we must consider the factor that subjects who are not married to each other seem to perform at a much higher level than subjects who are. If our survey is to have any validity, we must obtain a great deal more data in this area. It is time, I believe, to inaugurate Phase Three of the Venus Bio-Erotic Survey and to recruit volunteers to participate in it.”
“Phase Three?”
“Yes.” The Professor’s face was alight with zeal. “Copulation between subjects who are unmarried!”
CHAPTER FIVE
“With the decision to incorporate unmarried persons into the subject population of the program, there was an immediate and almost overwhelming increase in the number of volunteers. This was followed by reactions on the part of various segments of the community at large which hindered progress of the study. Yet this very reaction constituted a sociological phenomenon well within our purlieu as scientific observers. On the one hand it reflected the inherent selfishness of certain special interest groups. On the other it brought into focus the mores of the larger community. The reaction became so pronounced, however, that it interfered with our pragmatic detachment. To counteract this, the Observatory once again utilized the services of the intermediary who had been of assistance in the past. . .”
-Chapter Four, Survey of Bio-Erotic
Behavior Patterns in Human Beings,
by Woocheck & Peerloin
“Who,” Professor Woocheck wondered aloud, “is Jerome?
“He was a millionaire who allegedly staged and filmed sex orgies with children,” Frank Pollener "told him. “When the cops caught up with him he skipped the country. Why do you ask?”
“This newspaper editorial calls me the Ivan Jerome of the medical profession,” the Professor explained. His voice was tired; his face showed the strain of the harassment he was under.
“You shouldn’t be upset.” Dr. Peerloin tried to soothe him. “Where’s your perspective? It’s really quite funny.”
“I’m glad you see it that way,” Professor'Woocheck told her drily. “They call you the Polly Adler of sociology‘”
“Polly Adler?” Dr. Peerloin was unfamiliar with the name.
“A notorious madam of the thirties.” Frank enlightened her.
“Well of all the-! I’ll sue!” she sputtered. “I’ll sue them for every penny -”
“Where’s your perspective?” Professor Woocheck reminded her. “It’s really quite funny.”
“I don’t have the time to hang around playing ping-pong with petards,” she replied frostily. “I only hope that Mr. Pollener can help us alleviate the situation.” She got to her feet and started for the door. “If you’ll excuse me, there are some statistics I have to go over.”
“I’m glad to have met you, Dr. Peerloin,” Frank said.
“And I you.” She nodded to him politely and closed the door behind her.
“If only you’d contacted me when you first made the decision to recruit unmarried subjects,” Frank told the Professor when they were alone, “I could have warned you of the legal ramifications involved.”
“But the legal aspect hadn’t come up until just recently.” Professor Woocheck sighed. “It’s all of these other events which have begun snowballing until I seem to be spending all of my time trying to cope with them instead of on the project itself. We certainly never expected the furor which seems to be sweeping over the project.”
“What you need is a good public relations man,” Frank suggested. “The kind who specializes in squelching attention rather than getting publicity.”
“We thought of that. I contacted several reputable firms. None of them would have anything to do with us. Believe me, Mr. Pollener, I didn’t want to impose on you again, but there was nobody else to whom I could turn.”
“It’s all right. I just wish you’d consulted me sooner. Then maybe some of this could have been averted. But you didn’t, so now we’ll have to deal with the situation as it is. I know you feel overwhelmed by it, but perhaps if you just start at the beginning and we look at your difficulties one at a time, that would be the simplest way of coming to grips with them. Now, what was the first trouble you encountered when you started recruiting unmarried subjects?”
“Well,” the Professor began, “I already told you of the case which inadvertently led us to seek such volunteers.”
“Yes. And let me caution you right now not to mention it to anyone else. Those people were committing adultery. That happens to be a crime in this state. And that makes you and the Observatory accessories to the crime.”