“But we didn’t know they were married to two other people. We thought they were married to each other.”
“That might be a mitigating circumstance, but it wouldn’t get you completely off the hook. Ignorance of a felony is no excuse for aiding in the committing of it. Still, no charges have been brought, so there’s no point in worrying about it. Unless, of course, one of their mates happens to sue for divorce. In that case, the whole thing would come out and we’d have our hands full of trouble. It could be an interesting case,” Frank mused. “Might even set a precedent. I must admit that as a lawyer I’d like to handle it if it ever does come up. Prestige, you know. I could even write it up for the Law Journal. Still,” he sighed, “the best thing will be if it’s just forgotten.”
“I certainly hope it is,” the Professor agreed fervently. “We’ve got enough trouble as it is.”
“That’s true. Tell me about the trouble. How did it start?”
“Well, the first thing that happened was that word spread of how we were looking for unmarried subjects and we began to be deluged with volunteers. By the end of that first week there were lines all the way around the block of people waiting to be interviewed. We put on fifty extra interviewers and still it wasn’t enough to handle the volume. Now we have almost a hundred, but they can’t keep up with the demand.”
“Did they volunteer by twos?” Frank asked.
“Some did. But the majority didn’t. Somehow they seemed to have gotten the idea that we were some sort of dating service for single people who wanted to get together for erotic purposes.”
“Were there more men than women?”
“On the contrary; the women who applied outnumbered the men almost two to one.”
“Hmm. Interesting.”
“Yes. I’ve made notes on that phenomenon. I plan to comment upon it in the book. Anyway, it became obvious that we’d have to use some very strict screening techniques. So the first thing we did was issue a statement that we’d only consider applicants over eighteen years of age and that proof of age would have to be submitted. Well, right away, the lines outside shrank by almost half. There was some protesting at setting an arbitrary age limit, but nothing to what came later.”
“Tell me about that.”
“Yes.” The Professor took a deep breath. “Well, when we saw how the age limit had cut down the number of applicants, we decided to raise it. Twenty-one seemed logical. But we never anticipated the reaction this decision brought about. It seemed to be organized almost overnight. Hordes of students from the University descended upon us with signs and chants. ‘OLD ENOUGH TO FIGHT; OLD ENOUGH TO—’ Well, they used the euphemism. They picketed and they sat-in and some of them actually defied the decision and copulated in the corridors at random. You can imagine that all serious research at the Observatory was halted by this confusion.”
“I was out of town then,” Frank remembered. “At a retreat with Swami Rhee Va. Or I would have come over.”
“Yes. I know. I tried to contact you. Anyway, there was nothing we could do but rescind the order. We set the age limit back at eighteen and the students stopped picketing us. We thought that was the end of it, but of course we were wrong.”
“What happened?”
“Evidently the parents of the students learned of the lowering of the age limit and objected. A committee was formed and it began exerting pressure on the administration of the college. The college has been threatening to ask for an injunction to stop our work unless we re-raise the age limit. And the students say that if we do, they’ll picket again. Meanwhile, a ‘Mother’s March for Morality’ has been organized and they’re picketing us. They’re not nearly as bad as the students were, though. At least they knock off at two every afternoon to play mah-jongg. Anyway, that’s where the situation stands now.”
Frank had been jotting down notes. Now he drew a neat line underneath what he‘d written. “I think I have an idea about how to resolve that problem,” he said. “Now what else?”
“Just listen.” Professor Woocheck nodded towards the window.
Frank cocked his head and the chant from outside reached his ears: “VENUS UNFAIR TO UNION LABOR! PASS THEM BY! PASS THEM BY!” The voices were mostly high-pitched and feminine, but Frank could distinguish a few deeper, more masculine-sounding ones among them: “ORGANIZED LABOR DEMANDS CLOSED SHOP!” they chorused. “PASS THEM BY! PASS THEM BY!” A moment later the voices were raised in fury and the sounds of a commotion drew Frank to the window. “SCAB! SCAB!” The cry had spread like wildfire through the marchers. Frank watched as half a dozen overly-painted girls in low-cut blouses and tight skirts rushed from the line of march and fell upon a pair of clean-cut, collegiate-type girls who were entering the Observatory. Immediately a platoon of police rushed to break up the melee before it could develop into a riot.
“You see,” the Professor explained, “when we started using married couples, we still used as many prostitutes as ever; and while some of them grumbled, they let it pass. But when we started cutting back on the prostitute subjects as non-prostitute single volunteers became more available—not to save money, you understand; we pay the non-prostitutes the same fee, but rather because we felt they would be more typical of the population as a whole—- anyway, when we took this step, the prostitutes protested. Now they claim we’re cutting into their outside business as well, and besides claiming that we’re employing scabs, they’re accusing us of unfair competition.”
“Have you tried talking to Hal Rockwell about this?” Frank asked.
“Yes. He says there’s nothing he can do. The girls are taking matters into their own hands. The madams are backing them. And the Syndicate claims the girls are right and they’re feeling the pinch.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” Frank promised.
“Thank you. And do you think you can do anything about the editorials in the papers like the one that referred so unflatteringly to Dr. Peerloin and myself? I’m afraid that if there are any more of them, the public outcry may shut us down altogether. Believe me, it was never our intention to operate in the glare of such a publicity spotlight.”
“I know some of the editors. I’ll talk to them,” Frank told the Professor. “Is there anything else?”
“One other thing. A sort of two-sided situation that hasn’t really exploded yet. If it could be stopped before it does, I’d be eternally grateful. It concerns the Observatory’s relationship with minority groups. Some of them have contacted us and I can see an impossible situation developing if something isn’t done about it.”
“Who’s contacted you?”
“Well, the B’nai Brith for one.”
“What did they want?”
“They’re concerned about the matter of proportionate representation of Jewish subjects in the survey. I assured them that I’d do my best to see to it that there would be such representation and said there was absolutely no discrimination as far as I knew. That seemed to satisfy them, but the very next day I got a call from a different branch of the B’nai Brith, the Anti-Defamation League. They were concerned about the image that might be created if Jewish subjects should number more than they do in proportion to the general population. I promised to try to keep the representation as proportionate as possible.”
“Didn’t that satisfy them?”
“It satisfied the Anti-Defamation branch, but then the next day after that, the first B’nai Brith people were calling back again to complain.”
“What were they complaining about?”
“They said that what I’d proposed constituted a quota system and that it was their duty to their members to oppose such a system.”