O'Farrell coughed in his handkerchief. Postle turned red. Greenberg said gravely, "Young lady, you will stand and apologize to Mr. Postle."
Betty looked at the Commissioner, dropped her eyes and stood up. She said humbly, "Mr. Postle, I'm sorry you're a fossil. I mean I'm sorry I said you were a fossil."
"Sit down," Greenberg said soberly. "Mind your manners hereafter. Mr. Stuart, no one is required to accept counsel not of his choice. But you place me in a dilemma. Legally you are a minor child; you have chosen as counsel another minor child. It won't look well in the record." He pulled at his chin. "Could it be that you... or your counsel... or both of you... are trying to cause a mistrial?"
"Uh, no, sir." Betty looked smugly virtuous; it was a possibility she had counted on but had not mentioned to Johnnie.
"Hmm..."
"Your honor..."
"Yes, Mr. Lombard?"
"This strikes me as ridiculous. This girl has no standing. She is not a member of the bar; obviously she can't function as an attorney. I dislike finding myself in the position of instructing the court but the obvious thing to do is to put her outside the bar and appoint counsel. May I suggest that the Public Defender is present and prepared?"
"You may so suggest. Is that all, Mr. City Attorney?"
"Uh, yes, your honor."
"May I say that the court also finds it distasteful for you to instruct the court; you will not do so again."
"Er... yes, your honor."
"This court will, make its own mistakes in its own way. Under the customs by which this court is convened it is not necessary that a counsel be qualified formally... in your idiom, be a 'member of the bar,' a licensed lawyer. If you find that rule unusual, let me assure you that the hereditary lawyer-priests of Deflai find it much more astonishing. But it is the only rule which can be applied everywhere. Nevertheless I thank you for your suggestion. Will the Public Defender stand up?"
"Here, your honor. Cyrus Andrews."
"Thank you. Are you prepared to act?"
"Yes. I'll need a recess to consult with my principal." "Naturally. Well, Mr. Stuart? Shall the court appoint Mr. Andrews as your counsel? Or associate counsel?"
"No!" Again Betty answered.
"I was addressing Mr. Stuart, Miss Sorenson. Well?" John Thomas glanced at Betty. "No, your honor."
"Why not?"
"I'll answer that," Betty put in. "I talk faster than he does; that's why I'm counsel. We won't take Mr. Andrews because the City Attorney is against us on one of these silly things they've got about Lummox... and the City Attorney and Mr. Andrews are law partners when they are not fighting sham battles in court!"
Greenberg turned to Andrews. "Is that correct, sir?"
"Why, yes, we're law partners, your honor. You will understand that, in a town this size..."
"I quite understand. I also understand Miss Sorenson's objection. Thank you, Mr. Andrews. Stand down."
"Mr. Greenberg?"
"What is it now, young lady?"
"I can get you part way off the spot. You see, I had a dirty hunch that some busybody would try to keep me out of it. So we fixed it up ahead of time. I'm half owner."
"Half owner?"
"Of Lummox. See?" She took a paper from her bag and offered it. "A bill of sale, all legal and proper. At least it ought to be, I coped it out of the book."
Greenberg studied it. "The form appears correct. The date is yesterday... which would make you voluntarily liable to the extent of your interest, from a civil standpoint. It would not affect criminal matters of earlier date."
"Oh, pooh! There aren't any criminal matters."
"That remains to be determined. And don't say 'pooh'; it is not a legal term The question here is whether or not the signer can vend this interest. Who owns Lummox?"
'Why, Johnnie does! It was in his father's will."
"So? Is that stipulated, Mr. Postle?"
Mr. Postle whispered with Mrs. Stuart, then answered, "So stipulated, your honor. This creature called 'Lummox' is a chattel of John Thomas Stuart, a minor child. Mrs. Stuart's interest is through her son."
"Very well." Greenberg handed the bill of sale to the clerk. "Read it into the record."
Betty settled back. "All right, your honor... appoint anybody you want to. Just as long as I can have my say."
Greenberg sighed. "Would it make any difference if I did?"
"Not much, I guess."
"Let the record show that you two, having been duly warned and advised, persist in acting as your own counsel. The court regretfully assumes the burden of protecting your rights and advising you as to the law."
"Oh, don't feel bad, Mr. Greenberg. We trust you."
"I'd rather you didn't," he said dryly. "But let's move on. That gentleman down at the end... who are you?"
"Me, Judge? I'm the Galactic Press stringer around here. Name of Hovey."
"So? The clerk will supply a transcript for the press. I'll be available for the usual interview later, if anyone wants it. No pictures of me with this creature Lummox, however. Are there any more gentlemen of the press?"
Two others stood up. "The bailiff will place chairs for you just beyond the rail."
"Yes, Judge. But first..."
"Outside the rail, please." Greenberg looked around. "I think that's all... no, that gentleman down there. Your name, sir?"
The man addressed stood up. He was dressed in formal jacket and striped gray shorts and held himself with self-conscious dignity. "May it please the court, my name, sir, is T. Omar Esklund, Doctor of Philosophy."
"It neither pleases nor displeases the court, Doctor. Are you a party to any of these issues?"
"I am, sir. I appear here as amicus curiae, a friend of the court."
Greenberg frowned. "This court insists on choosing its own friends. State your business, Doctor."
"Sir, if you will permit me. I am state executive secretary of the Keep Earth Human League." Greenberg suppressed a groan but Esklund did not notice as he had looked down to pick up a large manuscript. "As is well known, ever since the inception of the ungodly practice of space travel, our native Earth, given to us by Divine law, has been increasingly overrun by creatures... 'beasts' rather let us say... of dubious origin. The pestilential consequences of this unholy traffic are seen on every..."
"Doctor Esklund!"
"Sir?"
"What is your business with this court? Are you a principal to any of the issues before it?"
"Well, not in so many words, your honor. In a broader sense, I am advocate for all mankind. The society of which I have the honor..."
"Do you have any business? A petition, perhaps?"
"Yes," Esklund answered sullenly, "I have a petition."
"Produce it."
Esklund fumbled among his papers, drew out one; it was passed to Greenberg, who did not look at it. "Now state briefly, for the record, the nature of your petition. Speak clearly and toward the nearest microphone."
"Well... may it please the court: the society of which I have the honor of being an officer... a league, if I may so say, embracing all mankind, prays... nay, demands that this unearthly beast which has already ravaged this fair community be destroyed. Such destruction is sanctioned and, yes, commanded by those sacred-"
"Is that your petition? You want this court to order the destruction of the e.t. known as Lummox?"
"Yes, but more than that, I have here a careful documentation of the arguments... unanswerable arguments I may say, to..."
"Just a moment. That word 'demands' which you used; does it appear in the petition?"
"No, your honor, that came from my heart, from the fullness of..."
"Your heart has just led you into contempt. Do you wish to rephrase it?"
Esklund stared, then said grudgingly, "I withdraw the word. No contempt was intended."
"Very well. The petition is received; the clerk will record it. Decision later. Now as to that speech you wished to make: from the size of your manuscript I surmise that you will require about two hours?"
"I believe that will be ample, your honor," Eskiund answered, somewhat mollified.