"Easily done," Valthyrra said. "Then we are in agreement that this is what we must do? Karvand?"
Commander Schyrrana quickly consulted with her ship, first officer and Commander-designate, and there was no dissension. Daelyn was grinning with mischievous satisfaction. Schyrrana nodded. "We agree."
"Delvon?"
"No complaints here!" Korlan insisted, not even pausing to consult with his ship or officers. There was no need; they all nodded eagerly.
Valthyrra turned her pod to Mayelna, who sat well back in her chair, deep in thoughts of her own. "Commander?"
Mayelna glanced up sharply, at first surprised. But she also nodded in agreement. Consherra offered no opinion, aside from a very bewildered stare; this whole affair left her speechless.
As soon as the council was over, Velmeran made as inconspicuous a retreat as he could manage. His problem was compounded by the fact that his only way out lay through the middle of the gallery, so that he was caught between the crowd of pack leaders and officers gathered there and Mayelna behind. Noticing the look that Mayelna gave him, he knew that he would do well to flee. And being a first-rate Starwolf, he was unequaled in his talent for dodging and evading. He had made it to the corridor outside before Baress stepped out of the crowd before him.
"Velmeran, I would like that place in your pack, if you will have me," he said. That was not only enough to bring Velmeran up short, but make him forget that he was being pursued.
"That position off my right wing tip does not seem to be a lucky place to be," he remarked. "But if you will have it, then I would be glad to have you. I am sure that Valthyrra would agree."
"Of course I do," she replied for herself. She had managed to be the first out the door by having a probe lying in wait, ready for her immediate use.
At that moment he was grabbed and spun about, tightly pinned by four arms in a fierce hug, and soundly kissed on the mouth. Startled, he drew back as far as he could, only to find himself in the arms of the Karvand's Commander-designate, Daelyn.
"Velmeran, you are fantastic!" she declared. What was this?
"I know," he replied uncertainly, still too surprised and confused to know what he was saying. "I mean, I have to be… I try."
She released her hold on him, and he remembered too late that he was supposed to be running for his life. Mayelna caught both of his right arms and, with Daelyn holding his left arms, he was herded quickly down the length of the corridor, up a flight of steps and into Mayelna's office. Valthyrra followed, none too close, while Daelyn remained on guard by the closed door.
"Do you have any idea what you have gotten us into?" Mayelna demanded as she backed her prey across the room. "Do you even know what you are doing?"
"Of course I know what I am doing!" he replied hotly. Having been brought up short by a corner, he decided that it was time to counterattack. "Three entire ships agree that I indeed know what I am doing. You are the only one who is dissatisfied. Do you want me to call everyone back and tell them that I cannot play this game, that my mother says that it is too rough for me?"
Mayelna blinked in confusion, taken off her guard by his determination. Momentarily at a loss, she turned on Daelyn, an easier target. "You! I thought that you were on my side."
"You told me that I was on your side," Daelyn replied, undaunted. "I decided otherwise. He is right, you know."
"Of course he is right!" Mayelna exclaimed in frustration, throwing up her hands. "He has a disturbing habit of always being right. He is also the only one capable of getting away with this. But I still do not have to like it."
"What do you not like?" Velmeran demanded. "Is it the Commander who objects to me, a young and inexperienced pack leader taking entirely too much upon myself? Because I want us to be more aggressive when you would have us remain defensive? Or is it the overprotective mother who refuses to accept that I am quite grown up and able to decide these things for myself?"
"Under the circumstances, I am equal shares of both," she answered. "Velmeran, I no longer question your abilities. You are already a far better leader in battle than I ever was or will be. Your ability to never miss a trick amazed me. But I question your motives. What are you trying to prove?"
"You tell me," Velmeran said in return.
"Very well. The last time we talked, you were afraid that you were just a machine, a weapon of war built for one specific purpose. Now I wonder if you are willing yourself to become that machine. Dveyella might be gone, but you still have life. Are you trying to deny that?"
"Is that what you think?"
"You are not the same person you were before," she said. "I did not really understand you before. But I hardly even know you now."
"To the contrary," Valthyrra interrupted. "This is the real Velmeran that I always knew existed."
"You keep out of this, chips-for-brains!" Mayelna snapped impatiently. "You put him up to this. You put the idea in his head."
"Actually, he was the one who gave me the idea," Valthyrra countered.
"This is something that I must do," Velmeran added. "But for my own reasons."
"And what are your reasons?" she demanded. "Do you think that you can avenge yourself and Dveyella upon the ones who killed her? Vengeance is a human passion, and I am not sure that even they found quite the satisfaction in their revenge as they always thought they should. But you are not human, so stop pretending. Revenge will not help her death sit any easier in your conscience; it will not help you to forget, and it certainly will not bring her back. She was beyond your help the moment she died, so you cannot say that this is something you want to do for her."
"No, not for her. For me, Mayelna! This is what I must do for me, and for every Kelvessan alive today and who will live in days to come!" Velmeran declared so fiercely that Mayelna was driven back by his wrath. "I am Kelvessan, and I want that to mean something. I want my kind to be able to go where they want without fear of being shot. I want my people to be whatever they want, to have worlds of their own, to write their own music and their own stories and build their own monuments. I want this war to end now, not for the sake of some alien race but for my own. Someday I think that I might even like to have children, but children who will be free to be whatever they want.
"I know now what I am, what I want to be. Yes, I am a warrior, a Starwolf, but that is now my decision based upon my talents and desires, and not just because it is expected of me. Let me do what I can… what I must. Help me, if you dare, because I need all the help I can get. But if you are afraid, then kindly get out of my way. I know what I have to do, and I can do it without you."
The silence that followed came almost as a shock. Valthyrra was so startled and cowed by that violent outburst that she had drawn the probe's camera pod into its protective cowling and was peering out cautiously. Daelyn, on the other hand, was smiling with satisfaction. Mayelna simply stood where she was, staring aimlessly at the floor, deep in thought. After a moment she glanced up at him, searchingly.
"Is this what you have decided, those long days you spend alone in your room?" she asked gently.
Velmeran nodded slowly. "I have faced death as I never have before. Dveyella's life was dearer to me than my own. I could not face life alone without first coming to terms with it."
"Yes, I suppose so," Mayelna agreed. She reached out and took up his hands in hers, urging his attention. "Meran, I always knew of the conflict in your heart and soul, your dissatisfaction with your inability to choose your own lot in life. I hated to have to force a fate upon you. You said it yourself, that you want children who are Kelvessan and free to be what they want. That freedom is one thing that I could never give my own children, and that hurt me. But now I think that I am satisfied after all. Daelyn found her own life, even if she had to leave this ship to do it. Now I trust that you have found yours, and I am sorry that your lesson had to be such a bitter one."