My heart hurt for her.
"How did you find out what actually happened?"
"I still don't know what happened," Danny said, anger rising.
"I didn't mean…Who told you that you'd been gone?"
"My mom," he said, looking at Shelly. "She took me in here, sat me down where you're sitting. James and Tasha and my dad were with her. Then Mom told me."
"What did you think when she told you?"
"I didn't believe her," he said. "I thought it was, like,
April Fools' or something."
"How did you realize she was telling the truth?"
"My dad showed me the Derek Jeter baseball rookie card he bought me for my birthday a while ago. He told me to look at the back. He said he'd bought the card the year I was born, 1996, Derek Jeter's rookie year. Jeter was twenty-two. Then he showed me a brand-new Jeter card. From this year. And on the back of that card, Jeter was thirty-three."
"How did you feel?"
"Scared. Upset. I mean, he'd been my favorite player and I didn't get to watch him grow up."
"What did you think about what your parents told you?"
I clarified.
"Really scared," Danny said. "I cried, I think, because
I didn't know what else to do. But I didn't really know why. I mean, I didn't feel sick, I wasn't hurt, it's not like
I missed anyone, it was just…like, weird. Like you know when you wake up from a nap and you're not really sure what time it is?"
I nodded. The past few months of my life could have been accurately described that way.
"Do you think it'll be hard going back to school?
Starting your life again? Just being a kid?"
Danny chewed his lip, looked at his mother. I could tell it was killing her to stay quiet, but she also knew her son needed to heal. And talking would help that process.
"I don't feel different. And I probably won't until I go back and, like, see people. Or like today when I want to watch a show but don't recognize anything that's on. I don't even really recognize myself, if that makes sense."
"In what way don't you recognize yourself?"
"Just, ways."
"Like what?"
He eyed his mother, a look of worry on his face. "I don't know if I can say with my mom here."
"Say whatever you need to, baby," Shelly added, for once chiming in at the right time.
"Well…I don't think I remember having hair down there."
I snorted a laugh without thinking. Shelly's face turned beet-red.
I said, "Moms don't usually like hearing things like that."
Danny shrugged. "She told me to say whatever I needed to."
"She sure did."
"How's your mom taking it?" I said. I looked at Shelly.
She knew I needed this from him, as well.
"I don't know. Fine, I guess. I mean, she's always hugging me and kissing me. I mean, like the kids don't have enough to make fun of already, I don't want to show up at school covered in lipstick."
"She missed you is all," I said.
"Yeah, I know, but she could back off a little bit."
"I was your age once," I said. "I kind of wish my mom was more like yours."
Danny laughed. "Yeah, right," he said. "I guess she's just glad to have me back." Shelly was nodding, her face in the pillow. Danny looked somewhat at ease. I knew that likely wouldn't last long.
"My mom told me you got in trouble a while ago,"
Danny said. "She looked you up in the newspapers when she found out you were coming. Was she telling the truth?
Were you in trouble?"
I felt the air rush from my lungs. I nodded. "Yeah, she's telling the truth."
"What did you do?"
I took a breath. "Some people thought I hurt someone," I said.
Danny looked at me, riveted.
"Did you?"
"Not on purpose," I said.
"What did it feel like?"
I thought for a moment, then said, "Probably a little like what you're going through. I felt like a stranger everywhere I went. Like nobody knew who I really was, they just saw what they read about or watched on TV."
"That's what'll happen to me, right? People will think I'm some freak weirdo when they don't even know who I am."
"They'll think that for a little while. Then it's up to you to prove them wrong."
"I don't see why they need me to prove anything," he said quietly. "It's not like I'm a different person or something."
I couldn't say this to Danny, but no matter what he or
Shelly wanted to believe, he was a different person.
Scandals resonated for a long time. Perceptions died hard.
Danny took a celery stalk, munched on it, leafy threads stuck between misaligned teeth. Shelly watched approv-60
Jason Pinter ingly. Danny would need braces, that was for sure. No escaping that part of adolescence.
"I don't remember the house being so clean," Danny said. "And the color on the walls outside used to be gross."
"I had it repainted a few years ago," Shelly said. She turned to me. "I wanted things to be clean in case…in case my boy ever came back. I wanted him to know things would be different."
"You never lost hope, did you?" I asked.
"Never."
"Do you think things will be different?" I asked Shelly.
"For Danny and your family?"
She gave me a smile, weaker than she likely thought it came off.
"Yes, they will. For the first time I truly know my babies will be safe."
Danny and I both looked at her, wondering just how she could be so certain.
5
I listened to the recording of my interview with Daniel on the ride back to the city. I tried to focus as much on Danny
Linwood's cadences, his voice inflections, as what he actually said. I'd spoken to abducted children before, as well as men and women responsible for kidnapping children.
The children were always withdrawn, as if a piece of their soul had been sucked out. Only they never knew why. The luckier ones, the ones that were found quicker, had withdrawn into a shallower hole. Eventually they could rejoin society, restart their lives. The ones like Daniel, who were removed for years, they weren't so lucky. It was fortunate enough they beat the tremendous odds to survive, but more than likely they'd be stuck in that hole their entire lives. They would spend as much time scrabbling for footing as they did living. With Daniel Linwood, it was as though four-plus years had simply been lopped off clean. No ragged edges to be caught on. Just a gaping hole that left barely a trace.
When Stavros dropped me at Rockefeller Plaza, I entered the Gazette and headed to my desk. First I would have the tape duplicated, then transcribed. I couldn't promise Daniel and Shelly that they would see my story before it ran, but I had given them my word that Daniel would be treated with respect. Right before I left, Shelly
Linwood told me that Paulina Cole had been calling every fifteen minutes, begging her to reconsider giving me the exclusive. Apparently Paulina promised to set Shelly up with the Dispatch 's parent company, which had subsidiaries in television, film and publishing. News would be the beginning. Film deals and book deals would follow. The money would come rolling in.
According to Paulina, "The Linwoods will no longer be victims. They'll be a brand name for survival."
Shelly said their family wanted no part of it. Once my story ran, what she wanted more than anything was for her children to lead normal lives. Shockingly, Haley Joel
Osment cast as Danny didn't fit in.
I sat down at my desk, checked my messages. There was one from Wallace asking me to stop by as soon as I got back. There was another from Jack O'Donnell asking if I wanted to grab a beer and a shot after work. Both sounded like great ideas.
I walked into Wallace's office, found the editor-in-chief balancing the phone in the crook of his neck while simultaneously typing on his keyboard. The receiver fell twice, and finally Wallace gave up, slamming it back in the cradle and offering a string of colorful profanities.