My brother Halil interrupted the discussion. “Always the past. Always the past. It’s what we usually accuse our enemies of doing. Let us discuss the future. Before we proceed, however, I have something important to report to you. There is an old family friend staying here. He was once a German tutor, but on the death of his brother, he inherited the family estates in Prussia and became a Baron. He claims that there is a person present in this room, who is spying on behalf of the palace. He knows this because he was present in Berlin when this same person negotiated a secret treaty between the Sultan and Prussia, committing us to support them in any future European conflict. In return they would help preserve the Sultan in power. This is treachery on two different levels. The first is against the interests of our country. The second is directly against the Committee. If such a person is actually present it would be useful at this stage if he could identify himself.”
These remarks created a sensation. The young officers rose to their feet in anger. The general with the squeaky voice was beginning to tremble. He was looking at the floor, but everyone was looking at him. His voice cracked even further.
“This is a complete misunderstanding. It is true I went to Berlin on behalf of the Sultan, but how could I refuse without betraying our cause? I did as I was told by the Grand Vizier. Is that a crime?”
A long silence followed this remark. The other general looked at his colleague with a sad expression. “Orders have to be carried out. We know that well, but why did you not inform me at the time? I was your senior officer. And why, when you established contact with the Committee, did you not inform its members in Istanbul? I think it would be best if you told us the truth, general.”
Then the young officer spoke again. “Have you given our names to anyone?”
“How could he?” The menace in Halil’s voice was completely new to me. “He has never met you before, but he could have given the names of the two generals who approached him to join the Committee. Did you?”
I began to feel sorry for the man with the woman’s voice. He was shaking his head in disbelief as he began to shrink and disappear in the corner of Iskander Pasha’s large, faded green leather armchair. I suppose he was amazed by the coincidence of a Prussian junker with links to the military leaders in Berlin being here on this particular day and recognising him. Who can blame the poor general? Very few people, including some who were very close to the family, were aware that Uncle Memed and the Baron had been lovers for thirty years. Even the most brilliant spy could not have foreseen such a disaster, but, at the very least, he might have been better able to pull himself out of the morass by inventing a story that created a doubt in the minds of some of those who were present. Not this man.
Never in my life have I seen someone disintegrate so completely as did the eunuch-general on that day in the library of our summer house in August 1899. Everyone was looking at him. Nobody spoke. He was cowering in fear. Slowly a smell began to pervade the room. Our noses began to twitch. I realised then that the wretched man had soiled his trousers. I think this act disgusted his stiff-backed colleagues even more than the treachery. Halil ran out of the room and returned with Petrossian, who stepped back as the stench assaulted his senses.
“What one is, one does,” said the other general in a tone of total disgust.
The eunuch-general had begun to cry. He pleaded for mercy. He sought our forgiveness. He swore on the Koran that he would tell us everything, including the names of all the spies in the Committee, provided his life was spared.
“Go and change your clothes first, you wretch,” said the young officer. “You deserve to be executed for this act alone. We will determine your fate on your return. Your very presence in the army is an outrage.”
Petrossian lifted him out of the room. We all rushed to breathe the fresh air of the scented garden. Usually I find the scent of jasmine too cloying. How welcome it was on that day as I inhaled its sweetness! Halil and the other general were walking together, deciding what to do with their colleague. The officers, including Selim, were in a huddle closer to the house. I was looking at the sea, unable to take in every possible angle of the events of the afternoon. Even if the eunuch-general gave us a list of the spies there would be no guarantee that he was telling the truth. He might deliberately mislead us to create more trouble within the Committee. It was difficult to think of him doing anything intelligent, given the scale of the earthquake that had shaken his life, but he might be thinking now as he cleaned himself up in the bathroom.
The generals signalled that the officers should join them. The eunuch-general’s fate had already been decided and the young men were being asked for their opinion. I did not want him executed. I knew what he had done was shocking, but killing him would not help anyone. They must have read my thoughts, for Selim and Halil came to join me.
“It’s his life or ours,” said Halil. “If we let him live we will all have to go into exile and that will leave the Committee headless inside the army in Istanbul. We cannot let that happen. It’s a military decision, Nilofer.”
I was not to be convinced that easily.
“And if you kill him and bury his body somewhere, what will the man waiting anxiously for his reports begin to think? I assume he will be suspicious. He’s not an insignificant person, you know. He is a general and they don’t just disappear into thin air, not even in a dying Empire.”
Halil nodded seriously. “The others never told him they were coming here. He did not even know that he would be meeting us. He was simply told that we had organised a meeting with two officers who had come for consultations from Salonika and that there might be a member of the Committee arriving from Paris. Nothing else. That is all he could have reported to his superior who, don’t forget, is the Grand Vizier, a man with a few other problems on his mind. It is very possible he said nothing at all and decided to wait till he had met the officers. Even if he has informed the Vizier that two generals are interested in the Committee, that is something we can always deny. We cannot take the risk of these young officers being exposed at this stage, Nilofer. It would be like destroying our future. Don’t forget that the spy was present during our morning discussions as well. We evaluated our strength in different units of the army in his presence. That is the sort of information for which the palace would happily sacrifice dozens of lives. Instead we are only taking one. You must understand.”
“So you are going to kill him?”
Halil and Selim looked at me, at each other and finally their gaze shifted far away, in the direction of the sea. I knew then that the poor eunuch-general would never see the sun rise again. Within an hour they had saddled their horses, summoned the coachman and left our house for ever. I knew I was seeing the eunuch-general for the last time and, despite myself, the thought saddened me. A human life was about to be truncated. I understood why he had to be despatched. I knew that it was sometimes necessary to do bad things for a good cause, but the man was so pathetic that I felt another way might have been found. Selim did not agree with me. He admitted that he, too, was unhappy, but he was convinced there was no other solution. I had seen them leave. The sentenced man had recovered some of his dignity. He walked to the carriage with his head raised, which somehow made it worse for me.
That evening’s meal was dominated by a discussion of the day’s events. The Baron had emerged as the unlikely hero of the whole affair. That is how Halil referred to him as he proposed a toast in the Baron’s own champagne. After we had all sipped the sparkling liquid, I could not resist speaking.