Why?
KATERINA. I have been like that from my birth up, full of fire! I was only six years old, when do you know what I did? They offended me somehow at home,—it was in the evening and quite dark—I ran away to the Volga, and got into a boat, and pushed it off from the bank. They found me next morning, ten miles down the river.
VARVARA.
Really! And were there any men in love with you, as a girl?
KATERINA.
Of course there were!
VARVARA.
Well? And didn't you care for anyone?
KATERINA.
No, I only laughed at them.
VARVARA.
And you know, Katia, you don't love Tihon.
KATERINA.
Oh, yes, I do! I'm dreadfully sorry for him.
VARVARA. Oh, no, you don't. If you're sorry for him you don't love him. And indeed you've no great reason to, I must own. And it's no good your being so close with me! I noticed a long while ago, that you were fond of some one.
KATERINA (with dismay).
How did you notice it?
VARVARA. How absurd you are! I'm not a baby! Well, I'll tell you the first sign I knew by; directly you see him, your whole face is transformed. (Katerina drops her eyes.) And that's not all….
KATERINA (still looking down).
Well, whom then?
VARVARA.
Why, you know, what's the use of telling his name?
KATERINA.
No, tell it! Tell his name!
VARVARA.
Boris Grigoritch.
KATERINA.
Yes, yes, Varia! Only mind, Varia, for pity's sake….
VARVARA.
What nonsense! You'd better mind, and not betray yourself in any way.
KATERINA.
I can't deceive, I don't know how to conceal anything.
VARVARA. But there's no doing without deceit; think where you're living! Our whole house rests on it! I wasn't fond of lying either, but I learnt the trick, when I had to. I was out walking yesterday, and so I saw him and had a few minutes talk with him.
KATERINA (after a short silence, looking down).
Well?
VARVARA.
He sent greetings to you. He was sorry, he said, that he never meets you.
KATERINA (her head still more bent down).
As if we could meet! And what would be the use….
VARVARA.
He is so sad and unhappy….
KATERINA. Don't speak to me of him, for goodness' sake, don't speak of him! I don't want to know him even. I will love my husband: Tisha, my dear one, no one shall ever take your place! I did not want to think of him, you tempt me.
VARVARA.
All right, don't think of him; no one compels you to.
KATERINA. You have no mercy on me! You say: don't think of him, and you mention him yourself! Do you suppose I want to think of him; but what can I do, when I can't get him out of my mind? Whatever I try to think, he seems always standing before my eyes. And I try to be different, and I can't. Do you know, last night, the evil one tempted me again. I was almost walking straight out of the house.
VARVARA. You are such a fantastical creature, God bless you! What I think is: one should do what one likes, only be sure it's kept dark!
KATERINA. I don't like that. What good can come of it! I had much better bear it as long as I can bear it.
VARVARA.
And when you can't bear it, what will you do?
KATERINA.
What shall I do?
VARVARA.
Yes, what will you do?
KATERINA.
Whatever I long to do, I will do.
VARVARA.
Just try; why they'd torment you to death.
KATERINA.
What do I care! I should go away, and that would be the end of it.
VARVARA.
Where would you go? You are a married woman.
KATERINA. Ah, Varia, you don't know me! I pray, of course, it may never come to that! But if I am too miserable here, they would not keep me by any force on earth. I should throw myself out of the window, I should drown myself in the Volga. If I will not to live here, then I would not, they might cut me to pieces! (Silence.)
VARVARA. Do you know what, Katia! When Tihon's gone, let's sleep in the garden, in the summerhouse.
KATERINA.
Oh, why, Varia?
VARVARA.
Why, isn't it just the same to you?
KATERINA.
I'm timid of sleeping in a place I'm not used to.
VARVARA.
Timid, nonsense! Glasha will be with us.
KATERINA.
Still one feels nervous, somehow! But perhaps I will.
VARVARA.
I wouldn't have asked you, only mamma wouldn't let me alone, and I must.
KATERINA (looking at her).
What for?
VARVARA.(laughing).
We'll tell our fortunes together there.
KATERINA.
You must be joking.
VARVARA.
To be sure, I am joking; did you think I meant it?
[Silence.
KATERINA.
Where can Tihon be?
VARVARA.
Why, do you want him?
KATERINA.
No, I only wondered, he has to start so soon.
VARVARA.
He's sitting locked up with mamma. She's nagging away at him now.
KATERINA.
What for?
VARVARA. For nothing at all, teaching him to mind what he's about. He'll be a fortnight away out of her sight! Only fancy! She has an uneasy inkling all the time that he'll enjoy himself when he's his own master. And so she's busy now laying all sorts of injunctions upon him, each more imperative than the last, and then she'll take him up to the holy picture and make him swear solemnly that he'll do everything exactly and precisely according to her bidding.
KATERINA.
And so even when he's free he'll be as good as bound.
VARVARA. Bound! Oh, will he! As soon as he gets away, he'll start drinking, you may be sure. He says nothing now, but all the while he's only thinking how to get away as soon as possible.
[Enter Mme. Kabanova and Kabanov.
SCENE III
The Same with KABANOV and MADAME KABANOVA.
MME. KABANOVA.
Now do you remember everything I've told you? Mind you do remember it!
Keep it in your heart!