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He then had me, my mum and my sisters-in-law all whisked away for a pamper day, later having me delivered to the Mandarin Hotel, where he was waiting to spoil me some more for the night while my mum went home and looked after H.

We didn’t actually end up getting married until June of 2003. Ash and Jimmie had insisted they be able to drink at my hens do and our wedding, which of course meant waiting until after the babies were born.

* * *

Determined not to be the youngest member of our family, George Francis King arrived two weeks early, on Valentine’s Day, weighing in at a healthy and eye watering eight pounds and nine ounces.

I was stunned when he was put into my arms as the doctors attended to my beautiful and selfless best friend, Jimmie. When Beau was born with his dark hair, I was absolutely positive he was the image of Sean, but looking down at George for that first time, was like looking at the image of Beau, so there must’ve been at least a little bit of me in both of my sons. I can’t begin to put into words the range of emotions that rushed through me in that moment. How conflicted I felt. How much love I felt for this new life I was holding in my arms, who was a part of me and Cam, and at the same time aching so badly for my husband and the children we had lost.

“He looks just like his big brother,” Cam said as he stroked George’s cheek with the back of his finger. I smiled through my tears.

“I think Harry’s more like you than George.”

He shook his head and took George from my arms. He kissed his forehead and looked at me. “I’m talking about Beau. The photos you have of Beau, George looks like the same baby.” All I could do was nod. He left me speechless. Cameron King, the man described in the papers as an East End bad boy, and his capacity for love left me completely speechless.

Just four days later, on the eighteenth of February, our daughters were born by caesarean section. As soon as Ash was done being thoroughly pissed off at the news she was carrying twin girls, because in her words, ‘There was now no chance of her ever having any King dick inside her vagina.’, she had promptly booked herself into the Portland hospital for a C-section.

At four thirty seven in the afternoon, Kiki Camryn King was born weighing in at a small but healthy four pounds two ounces, her younger sister by four minutes exactly, Tallulah Rae arrived weighing four pounds exactly. The girls looked so tiny when we laid them next to their big brothers.

* * *

Our lives since that day had been filled with love, light and complete and utter chaos, and I wouldn’t swap it for the world. Our boys and Kiks were the absolute image of their Daddy, right down to their mannerisms; although, George would sometimes look at me a certain way and it was like looking at myself, despite the difference in our eye colour. Lulah was the only one of my children who resembled me, and when I say resembled, she was a clone, not only in looks, but in her mannerisms and nature, too. Our eldest three were pretty easy going, but our Lu was strong willed, defiant, bad tempered and was scared of no one. She was the smallest and yet the bravest, and I am sure her father had already shaken his head at her more times in her short life than he had at me in all the years we had known each other.

* * *

We are here in Florida now, holidaying with our entire family, including all of my brothers and their wives and kids, my parents, plus Benny and Marian.

Marian had moved in with us as our housekeeper, and she also helped out with the kids on the rare occasion I ever left them on their own.

It turned out that Marian was originally from Scotland and had been Cam’s mum’s best friend. They had moved to the bright lights of London together as innocent sixteen-year-olds and both ended up marrying Londoners.

I look down at Cam as he bites on my nipple, his eyes still looking up at me.

“Ouch, that hurts, I thought we had to get up?” I complain.

He kisses where he just bit me. “We do, but I think we need a quick fuck first. What d’ya reckon?”

“I reckon you should’ve left me to sleep for another half an hour or at least brought me coffee.” He grinds his hips and his hard on into me.

“I’ve got something much better than coffee for you, Kitten, and this comes with a double shot and extra cream.” He winks as he smiles his sexiest smile. I don’t know at what age men are supposed to lose their libido, but at forty-eight, Cam most definitely hadn’t got that memo and I don’t mind in the least that he is still my Martini man; any time, any place, anywhere.

Our bedroom door flies open and Tallulah storms in. Cam rolls off me and pulls the quilt to cover us both up.

“Shit,” he hisses quietly.

“It was an accident. I didn’t mean to do it and now they’re all shouting at me.”

She’s wearing her Tinkerbell costume, complete with wings and a pair of pink and silver Converse, and for a not yet five-year-old, she’s totally rocking the look.

She looks up at Cam with her big blue eyes as he sits himself up in bed and holds his arms out for her. Sucker. I know that look. It’s one I’ve used on the men in my life since I was a bit younger than my daughter is now and I know as sure as shit that whatever it is she’s saying she didn’t do; she did it. I’d bet my last pound on it.

“What happened, princess. Who’s shouting at you?” Cam asks her as she climbs on the bed and into his lap.

“Daddy, don’t be daft. I’m Tink not a princess. Kiks is a princess. She’s got her Aurororora dress on.” Cam winks at me as we both try not to smile at her mispronunciation of Aurora.

Harry and George come through the door next, both wearing swim shorts that are dripping wet.

“Boys, stop right there. What are you doing in the house while you’re all wet like that?” They both come to a halt. For anyone who didn’t know our family history, you would assume Harry, George and Kiki were triplets. They are all the absolute image of Cam. “Why were you in the pool? You know the rule. No pool unless there’s an adult with you.”

Before the boys can defend themselves, Marley walks in carrying a soaking wet and sobbing Kiki, still kitted out in her pink Sleeping Beauty dress and tiara and I’m now absolutely certain that Lulah is behind the chaos.

“What happened?” I ask Marley, who, I notice is also fully clothed and dripping wet.

The boys start to speak, but Cam points his finger and they both fall silent, their big brown eyes looking from me to their dad.

“Your daughters had a difference of opinion and one of them ended up in the pool.” All eyes turn to Lu.

“Well,” she says, turning her baby blues and all her charm to Cam, “it was like this, Daddy. Kiks had orange flip flops on with her pink Aurororora dress and I said they looked ugly together and she pushed me and I pushed her back and she fell in the pool and the boys jumped in to save her and then Uncle Marls jumped in to save them all, but I didn’t mean it, Daddy, and she pushed me first.” Her eyes fill with tears as the boys and Kiki start to all talk at once.

“Shush, the lot of ya!” Cam shouts over them. “One at a time. H, you’re the eldest, you start.” Harry frowns as he looks at Tallulah and shakes his head. I can’t help but smile at how much like Cam he is.

We have told him a little bit about Tamara. He knows that she’s his mum and she’s now in Heaven and that Cam chose me to be his Mummy instead. He’s never really asked any questions and he has only ever known me as his mum. As far as he and the rest of the kids know, they are all special. We have told them that because Mummy’s belly was broken, they had to be grown in Ash and Jim’s bellies. As they get older, we will explain things to them in a more adult way, but for now, they are happy with those explanations. I want Harry to know about his birth mother, but I also want to protect him from the truth of what she was and what she did. Cam and I have decided that if he asks, then we will tell him as much truth as we feel is age appropriate.