I stand, alone, mortified and let the tears roll silently down my cheeks, everything he has said is true, I’m a spoilt, selfish girl and I don’t take other people’s feelings into account as often as I should, as much as I should. I look around the room, at the worried faces of the people that love most in the world but I don’t make eye contact with any of them. “I’m so sorry everyone, I didn’t mean for anyone to worry, I was asked to help out in an emergency and I lost track of time. I’m so sorry, I should’ve called, I should’ve let someone know where I was or taken Dave with me but I didn’t and I’m sorry.”
I walk past every one, go straight to my bathroom and turn on the shower, I turn the water around to hot, take off my clothes and step under, adjusting the water so that it’s as hot as I can bear it. I want to curl up in a ball and cry. I didn’t mean to be selfish, and I didn’t mean to hurt anyone or make them worry. I didn’t know Cam loved me, I didn’t know my family had been so concerned for so long but at the end of the day, is ignorance any kind of defence or am I just a stupid, spoiled twenty year old, who thought she knew it all?
I slide down the wall, bring my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them.
I’m not sure how long I spend sitting on the shower floor but when I eventually get out, Sean is sitting on the edge of the bath holding a towel. He stands and wraps it around me and just holds me tight, he grabs another from the rack and starts to rub my hair dry with it. I’ve stopped crying but my jaw is still quivering and you can hear it in my voice when I say to Sean, “I’m so sorry.”
He pulls me in tighter and kisses the top of my head. “Let’s go to bed,” is all that he says. I climb into bed and sit and dry my hair as I watch him take off his clothes, he strips totally naked and climbs into bed next to me, pulling me to him. I feel safe, warm and loved, which is probably more than I deserve. “Dya wanna tell me about it?”
I shake my head. “Not yet.”
“I was so worried G, I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in all my life. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know where to start and what scared me more was how worried your Dad was.” Once again I remain silent.
“Sean?”
“Gia?”
“Make love to me?”
He kisses me gently on the mouth, his hands tangle in my damp hair, he pushes me gently over onto my back and slides down my body and starting with the soles of my feet, he kisses his way back up my legs, bending my knees and spreading me open, kissing, licking and sucking me into my first orgasm, then up and over my belly, onto my boobs, he bites down gently on first one nipple, then the other. He keeps climbing up my body, until eventually he’s straddling my chest. I take his cock in my hand and stroke him. He brushes his thumb over my bottom lip as he looks down into my eyes.
“Squeeze your tits together,” he whispers. He places his cock between my tits while I squeeze them like he told me, he strokes himself right down at the base, all the while, he’s staring into my eyes. “God you look fuckin’ beautiful right now.”
I give him a small smile, I don’t want him to be nice to me, I want him to be rough and cause me pain. “Fuck my arse,” I say to him.
“What?”
“I want you in my arse, now.” He stills for a few seconds, his eyes fully focused on mine, then rolls to the side.
“Turn over.”
He climbs off the bed and goes into the bathroom, returning a few seconds later and puts something down on the bedside table. He lays down flat on top of me at first, just stroking up and down the backs of my arms, he kisses the back of my neck and my shoulders, then all the way down my spine, he pushes my legs apart with his. “Pull your knees underneath you babe, arse in the air, keep your legs open wide.”
I do exactly as he says; his fingers gently stroke down from the back of my neck, down my spine, over each of my arse cheeks, then through the middle of them, he uses his hands to spread me open and I can feel the calluses on his fingers caused by years of playing the guitar and of all the sensations firing through me right now, it’s that one that makes me groan, it’s so Sean, so unique to Sean. He licks me, from back to front and then back again, his tongue flicks in and around my hole, while he uses his middle finger to rub my clit. “Fuck, Sean.”
“That feel good G?”
“Yeah.”
“We’ve got no lube so I’m gonna use Vaseline, keep still for me.” I remain perfectly still while I listen to him unscrew the jar of Vaseline, then he’s back, he starts with just one finger, he rubs it gently in circles, around and around.
“Open your legs wider baby, push your arse higher and relax, you look so beautiful right now, so fuckin’ beautiful.” He pushes one finger inside me, and then adds another. “That okay, tell me if it hurts?”
I’m biting down so hard on my bottom lip that it actually hurts when I release it, so I suck it to relieve the pain. “Gia, am I hurting you? Tell me baby and I’ll stop.”
“No, no, fuck no.” He pulls his fingers out, and then rubs his cock up and down my arse crack; he stops and nudges against me. “I love you baby, please tell me you really wanna do this, you know I love you right? Don’t do this if you don’t wanna.”
I look around at him from over my shoulder. “When do I ever do anything I don’t wanna?” He gives me his ‘front of a magazine cover pout’ then winks at me; he wraps his hand around my hair and yanks my hair back roughly. “I fuckin’ love you Georgia Rae, now I’m gonna fuck your arse and make you scream.”
He eases inside me slowly as he talks, “Fuck, you’re tight baby.”
He pulls me up so that I’m almost sitting on his knees, his knees between my open legs from behind, he reaches around me and gently rubs my clit, his mouth is at my ear and I tilt my head to the side so that I can feel his hot breath on me as he speaks, “You’re in control Georgia, ride me, go at your speed baby.”
I grind gently onto him, enjoying the full sensation, it’s different but it’s nice. “You want my fingers in your cunt?” Oh God, just him saying that word has me groaning and grinding back on him. “Do ya G? Tell me, else I’ll stop.”
“No, I mean yes, no don’t stop, yes I want your fingers in me.”
He chuckles in my ear. “You’re a bad, bad girl Georgia Rae and I love the fuck out of ‘ya, now come for me, coz I ain’t gonna last, you’re too much, I can’t last.”
He pushes his fingers inside me and it’s the strangest of sensations, I feel full, stretched and when he pushes the heel of his hand onto my clit, it’s too, too much, every muscle I have below my waist clamps around his cock and his fingers. I roll my head back as he bites into my shoulder, I moan and call out his name, trying to relieve the intensity of the orgasm that just won’t stop rolling through me. In the end I have nowhere left to go and just take it, moaning and whimpering my way through it as I listen to Sean’s words, “Fuck, that’s good, I’m coming baby, only for you, it’s only ever been you.”
We collapse in a heap less than a minute later, he holds my back tight against his chest, kissing the back of my neck and my shoulders continuously; eventually we lay still and silent, I listen to him breathe and feel his chest move up and down against my back. I want him to talk, to ask me about today but I also want him to never mention it, he kisses the back of my head.
“Come and shower with me.” I nod and he eases out of me, he pulls me by the hand and we walk to the shower, he doesn’t wait for the water to heat up and pulls me in with him. I scream and he laughs, pulling me tight against his chest as the cold water makes both of our teeth chatter. It eventually starts to warm, he pushes my wet again hair from my face, then holds it with both of his hands, he kisses my eyes, my nose, then so, so softly my mouth, my chin, down through my cleavage, all the way down my belly. He kneels down on the floor in front of me, takes hold of my hands in his and says, “I love ya Georgia Rae, please be my wife?”