He stopped twice to regain his composure, watching Sean cry as he declared his love for me in front of our friends and our family almost floored me, I pointlessly fought so hard not to cry. For me, the most amazing thing was, we hadn’t read or even discuss our vows and was amazed at how we had thought along the same lines, mine sounded like a shortened version of Sean’s, I spoke between sobs.
“Sean, from that very first day I set eyes on you, I’ve known you were my one true love, you own my heart, my mind, my body and soul and I will love you till I die. I’ll spend each and every day trying to be the Wife you deserve. You make me a better person, and without you I’m lost, incomplete. Please, will you be my Husband because there’s no one else, there never was, it’s still only ever you, I love you Sean McCarthy, please marry me.”
“What’s up G, what ya thinking?” Sean looks across the table at me; he has the hood of his leather jacket pulled up. He shaved his beautiful hair off when we got here and amazingly, he had hardly been recognised the whole trip. In fact, on one occasion, it was me that was recognised and not him. I ended up signing autographs and having my photo taken with Sean’s fans while he hid in a tourist shop on Sydney’s Circular Quay, but he had let it grow since May now and we had started to garner the odd second glance from passers-by so Sean had taken to either wearing a hat or keeping the hood of his jacket up.
Sean’s skin is so dark from all of the sun we’ve been exposed to, he almost looks Arabic, the way his hood drapes over his hair, framing his dark skin and eyes, my belly does a few forward rolls as I digest the fact that this stunningly beautiful man, who’s adored, loved and lusted after by millions of both men and women around the world, is in fact, my Husband. And I’m under absolutely no illusion as to how much he loves me. We’ve spent almost a year in near isolation from anyone else, just Sean and Georgia, Georgia and Sean, as it should be and I can’t help but smile.
“I was thinking about our wedding.” His face lights up.
“The day or the night?” I shake my head at him, he’s just turned thirty two and still such a boy.
“Our vows.” He moves his chair closer to mine and puts his arm around me.
“I meant every one of them,” he says, I give him a broad smile.
“I know you did and you’ve lived up to each and every one of them.”
“And so have you, I couldn’t be happier, could you?” I think about it for a few seconds, apparently a few seconds too long, my Husband can read me like a book and now his smile has vanished, his eyebrows pulled together in a look of concern. I have a confession to make and I’m not sure how he’s going to take the news, it’s something we have discussed, but as yet have made no firm decision on.
“What G, what is it?”
“I ran out of pills.”
“Pills, what pills, you got a headache?” I laugh.
“No, contraceptive pills.” His eyes widen.
“Ahh shit, right, well we can just get you in to see a doctor here and get you a prescription. I can’t see that it’ll be any hassle, if it is, I’ll make some calls and get some Fed Ex’ed over.”
“In June,” I add and wait for his reaction, he looks totally confused.
“What, you don’t need them till June?” I smile at him, I’m as nervous as shit at what I’m about to tell him.
“I ran out of pills in June, we’ve been having unprotected sex since June.” He looks at me blankly for a split second, then his face lights up, his eyes spark with, everything that I hoped to see in them.
“You wanna make a baby?” Oh God that sounded so sexy that all I can do is nod and smile stupidly. He stands up, throws twenty dollars on the table, grabs my hand and pulls me out to the side of the road as he hails a taxi.
“What are you doing?” I laugh as I speak.
“We’re going back to the hotel to pack, it’s time to go home baby, I’m not having you flying long haul with my baby in your belly, it won’t be good for either of you so the quicker we get home, the quicker we can get on with the job of making a mixed up version of you and me.” He opened the door of the taxi and guided me in.
As soon as we are settled in the back of the cab and on our way back to our hotel, Sean is on his mobile to the private jet company and books us a plane for six that evening.
Just to make sure that I’m not flying pregnant, he makes the cabbie stop at a chemist on the way to the hotel and buys two pregnancy tests, luckily I need to wee pretty much as soon as we are in our room and we sit on the edge of the bath tub and stare at the little stick I hold in my hands.
“What if it’s positive, you gonna make me stay here for the next nine months?” He grins his lopsided grin at me.
“Well first, I would kiss you till your lips were numb, because I would be the happiest man in the world and second, I… I don’t know I’d just carry on being the happiest man in the world.”
We stare as one line appears on the stick, not pregnant, I feel a little surge of disappointment, so I look at him and shrug. “The pill will take at least six months to clear my system, January, that’s when we’ll get pregnant, but let’s get home and get trying any way.”
He tilts his head to one side. “Naaa, let’s get trying now.”
He drags me back to the bedroom and jumps on me, but the look of disappointment on his face didn’t go unnoticed, but I’m not worried, I’ve been on the pill for sixteen years, I’m not expecting to get knocked up yet, besides, I want to see in the new year with a bang. It’s the first time in years neither Jimmie or Ash are pregnant over Christmas and we can actually all have a proper celebration in New York where the band are playing at a special New Year’s Eve concert to see in the year 2000.
Around thirty long hours later we are back at our home in Hampstead, North West London. I call my Mum, Jimmie and Ash and let them know we are home. We spend the next week hardly leaving our bed, not because we are continuously having sex, although a lot of that does go on, but because we are so jet lagged from the flight and the time difference. Sean runs his business dealings from his phone whilst still in bed, I mostly sleep.
* * *
The following weekend is when we were due home and I’d completely forgotten the boys were off to France to play at some sporting event. I really don’t feel like getting on another plane so soon after the trip back from Australia so instead I arrange a girls night out with Ashley and Jimmie, as luck would have it, the boys record label have invitations to a new club opening in Shoreditch.
We all meet up at the Docklands penthouse, the boys still own it and we all use it at various times after nights out in the city when we need somewhere to crash. It feels like years since we’ve all gotten ready together like this, probably because it is. We take forever as we talk and drink and have a general catch up, we’ve spoken on the phone almost daily since I’ve been back in the country but I haven’t seen them in almost a year and there are a few tears as soon as we set eyes on each other. By the time we finally make it down to the car, where Dave is waiting to drive us, it’s already eleven thirty pm and we’re all well on our way to being legless.
The club is a warehouse conversion, pretty much like every other building in and around East London but it looks great, the sound system is pumping and the girls are desperate to dance. I did a pregnancy test this morning, just to make sure and as it was negative, I joined my girls in a couple of lines of coke before we left and I’m now feeling the effect and can’t wait to hit the dance floor. The place is full of celebrities, actors, models, footballers, pop stars and the usual bunch of glamour models that always seem to get invites to this type of thing. The waiters and waitresses come around with an endless supply of champagne and there’s a free bar for anything else. While the girls are still on the dance floor, I head to the toilets and on the way back decide to grab us a round of shots. I stand at the bar waiting to be served when a shiver goes through me, before I get the chance to wonder what could have caused it a deep voice says right into my ear.