I love our house in Hampstead, you would never know that we were so close to the city but I’d decided that when we did finally have a baby, I wanted to be closer to my Mum and the rest of my family, who all lived within a five mile radius of each other. So I had started to look for houses for sale in the Essex countryside near where my parents lived. I had left my number with a few agents with a list of specifications on what we were looking for. Sean’s success had meant that we had homes in several countries. We were lucky, we didn’t really live a lavish lifestyle but we had the money to do anything we really wanted to in life, so telling an estate agent that we had no limit on our budget for a new home had them calling me almost daily.
“Hello.” I picked the phone up as I stood deciding what to where and what to do with my day on this boring wet Wednesday.
“Good morning, may I please speak to Mrs McCarthy?” I was always wary when answering the phone. We’d been caught out before by journalists looking for a story and by crazy fans that had somehow gotten hold of our home number.
“Who’s calling?” I asked.
“It’s Vera White, from Blackthorn White and Co Real Estate.” I liked Vera, she was very proper but swore like a trooper, she was in her fifties and had made me laugh from our very first meeting when she told me that I was a lucky bitch and that despite being happily married, she would gladly jump my Husband’s bones if he ever decided he needed some attention from an older woman. She was also one of the few agents who’d actually shown me through the houses that had ticked most of our boxes. Although, as yet, we still hadn’t found ‘The One’. Like our home in Hampstead, I knew that I’d just know when we found the right house.
“Hi Vera, this is Georgia, what can I do for you?”
“Oh, hi Mrs McCarthy. Look, I have a property that’s just come on the market that you may be interested in.”
“Okay, can you give me some details?”
“I sure can, it’s a completely refurbished Georgian style farm house. It’s set on twelve acres, behind security gates and high fences all the way around, six bedrooms all en suite, plus two more bathrooms, five receptions, a cinema room, a gym, a sauna, an indoor pool, a games room, paddocks and stables for six horses and there’s a fully detached three bed roomed cottage on the grounds. I can email you a floor plan and some photo’s if you’re interested?” She asks hopefully.
“Wow, that’s a lot of house.”
“It is,” she replies. “And the best part of all is that it’s only three miles from your parents place.”
Now I’m definitely interested. “Okay, when can you get me through?”
“How does this afternoon sound?”
“Perfect but I’m sorry Vera, I’ll probably bring my Mum along with me, not Sean, he’s busy in the studio right now but if I like it, I promise I’ll bring him along next time.”
“Good girl, grab a pen and I will give you the address…”
Two hours later, I am walking through ‘The One’ with my Mum and Vera. It’s absolutely perfect, it’s big and spacious but not sprawling, there’s plenty of room on the grounds for Sean to build a studio and I love the fact that it already has stables. I had just taken up riding lessons again and was desperate to own a horse of my own; my Mum still had hers, but had gotten rid of mine years ago. I knew I wouldn’t be able to ride when I was pregnant but I didn’t plan on being pregnant permanently. We walked through the house twice and let Vera give her spiel on the property, the original part of the building had been built in the early eighteen hundreds and had been extended and renovated over the years and had undergone a major refurbishment ten years ago. It needed a more modern kitchen and the bathrooms needed updating but other than that, it just needed a lick of paint and new carpets. I loved it, it felt right, and it felt like home.
We stood in the kitchen, discussing the pros and cons of the property and the price. I was trying not to show too much enthusiasm as I wanted to be able to negotiate on the asking price, although all things considered, it was pretty reasonably priced. As we stood talking, we all became aware of a door closing and footsteps coming down the hall.
“Do excuse me; I wasn’t aware anyone was going to be here.” Vera turned to meet whoever the footsteps belonged to, when Cam appeared in the doorway.
You have got to be fucking kidding me!
Cam!
Cam in jeans, a t-shirt and a pair of flip flops, looking larger than life and as hot as holy hell, I actually swayed on the spot as the air left my lungs and refused to allow any more to enter.
“Oh, Mr King, I’m so sorry, I wasn’t aware you would be home today, I was just showing… ”
His eyes met mine, he looked at me like he wanted to eat me, right there and then, in front of the estate agent and my mother, the yearning, longing in his eyes was unmistakable and I had to hold on to the marble bench top as he whispered, “Kitten” in that deep voice of his.
“Excuse me?” Vera asked and I nearly laughed. Did she think he was talking to her?
His eyes left mine and were on Vera’s then my Mum’s. “Mrs Layton, how are you, hope Frank’s well?”
My Mums eyes flicked from Cam to me and then back to Cam again. “I’m very well thank you Cameron, we both are.”
“Good, that’s good, please give him my regards.”
“I will do.”
He nodded his head, his eyes back on me, while he spoke to Vera. “I’m sorry Vera, I didn’t realise you would be showing someone through so soon.”
“Yes, well you did say we could move on it straight away.”
“I did and you are that’s good.”
“And what a coincidence that you all happen to know each other.”
None of us say anything for a moment, my Mum being the first to speak, “Vera, why don’t you show me the pool again, that’s going to be just perfect for when the baby gets a bit bigger.”
My Mum looks back at me as she speaks and shakes her head, my Mum’s not stupid, anyway, you would have to be deaf, dumb, blind and thick as shit not to notice the silent interaction between Cam and myself and my Mum was none of those things.
Cam stalked toward me. “You’re pregnant?”
He looks like he was going to cry, I shake my head. “No, but we’re hoping to be, next year.” I cannot give him a clue, that I may already be and that the baby could be his.
He reaches out and strokes my face with the back of his knuckles and I stupidly lean into his touch, my eyes fill with tears. “Why Kitten, why him?”
“He owns me Cam, I have no choice. My heart belongs to him.”
“Not all of it, I have a piece, all be it a very small piece, but I know; I just know if you gave me a chance…”
I shake my head. “No, no Cam, it’s too late for us, you would’ve had to have met me when I was ten to have ever stood a chance.”
“I don’t believe you Kitten; don’t have a baby with him. Please, wait a while, think about it, think about what you really want. Who you really want. If he owns you so completely then why did you let me fuck you just a couple of weeks ago. All this time and the instant we are together it’s there, its back.”
His words and the guilt that I feel cause me actual physical pain, like an ice cold blade has been stabbed into my chest, dragged down to my belly and twisted around and around a few times and it’s no less than I deserve.
“I want you Kitten, no one has ever wanted anything more than I want you. Please, give me a chance, choose me, let yourself love me enough, let me show you how good it can be. I’ll never hurt you; I’ll never make you doubt me, not for a second.” A sob escapes me and fat tears plop from my lashes onto my cheeks, he wipes them away with his thumbs.