Marley started playing softly, then Billy joined in as Tommy came in quietly on his drums, then Sean began to sing, in that beautiful soft raspy voice of his.
“Our eyes they met and we were done ; no one else felt the effect,
No one else knew from that moment, we would always be one.
Now after loving you for all of these years,
Sharing some heartbreak and some tears.
I no longer know where I begin or where you end.
You’re my lover, my life, my Wife and best friend
And I don’t know where you begin or where I end.
Our life, our love, the bond that we share.
It means nothing; it’s pointless if you’re not there.
They broke us once, they kept us apart
But we fought and we found a way back into each other’s hearts.
And just look at us now, stronger than ever and soon we’ll be three.
We’ve made someone new, a mixed up bundle of love
Made from a little bit of you and a little bit of me
You’re my lover, my life, my Wife and best friend
And I just don’t know where I begin or where you end.
You’re my lover, my life, my Wife and best friend.
Now with that little bit of you and me that grows in your belly.
The story of us, will never end”
I’m stunned into silence for a few moments, along with the rest of the crowd, Ash and Jim both have their arms around me as I watch Sean climb down off the stage, climb the barrier and walk toward me, hands reach out and pat his back but his eyes don’t leave mine and suddenly he’s there, right in front of me.
“I love ya Georgia Rae, Happy Birthday.” I wrapped my arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulled me as close as we could get and kissed me with everything he had, our baby kicking his belly through my belly all the while.
CHAPTER 30
On a freezing cold December afternoon, we left Richard Curtis’s office to drive to the Nursery shop along the high street near where I used to live; I’d gone there because I knew they produced custom made baby equipment. I hadn’t told Sean and I couldn’t wait for him to see our baby boys pushchair that I’d had especially made.
The shop had called this morning to say that my order was ready and as I had an appointment in Harley Street this afternoon, I told them that we would call in on our way home.
Milo was driving us, it had snowed the night before and despite it only being two in the afternoon, it was already getting dark and the ground was starting to freeze over again.
My check up with the Professor had gone well, the baby and I are in excellent health and I was now thirty six weeks pregnant and as healthy as a horse.
By the time we got through the Friday afternoon London traffic, it was four o’clock when we reached the shop. Milo dropped us off and then went in search of a parking spot as there were none directly outside the shop.
Sean loved the pram, it was custom made in the bands logo shade of red, with a black trim and had ‘My Daddy Rocks’ embroidered on the front, it looked more like a sports car than a pram and I could see by the look on Sean’s face that he couldn’t wait to push our son around in it.
“Do you like it? You don’t think it’s a bit much for a little baby?” He threw his arm over my shoulder as we headed out of the store.
“Babe, it’s perfect, I love it and anyway, nothings too much for our kid.” We had spent half the time in the shop having our photo taken and Sean signing autographs, but we didn’t mind, Sean pulled me in closer as we stepped out of the shop, it was dark and snowing again.
“Hold on to me G, that ground is icy, where the fuck is Milo?”
We looked up and down the street but couldn’t see the Range Rover. Sean pulled out his phone. “Where are you man? It’s fucking freezing out here and slippery as fuck.”
He looked up and down the street again. “No mate, still no spaces.” He looked at me. “No, it’s too slippery, pull round and double park; we’ll just walk out and meet ya.”
He put the phone back in his pocket and wrapped his arms around me. “He’s had to park miles away but don’t worry, I’ll keep you warm.” I snuggled in as I watched an elderly couple climb into an old style Mercedes behind us and I smiled as the man held the door open for his Wife. He must’ve been about a hundred and judging by the way he shuffled around his car, he probably felt it in this cold weather too. I watched as he seemed to take forever to start the car up as he spoke to his Wife, he looked in his rear view mirror but instead of reversing into the road, the car shot forward. I think I screamed Sean’s name, the roar from the engine was so loud, his eyes were on mine as we both flew through the air, the car following us, we spun sideways and I landed hard on my side. Sean was still beside me, and the car came to a stop next to him. That’s what I thought was happening, but I wasn’t sure, I wasn’t sure if any of this was even real.
Everything was very quiet for a few seconds, I looked at Sean, his face was level with mine, his eyes were wide, and he gave me a small smile. “I love you Georgia Rae, show us your tits,” he whispered, then he closed his eyes, his beautiful brown eyes, with their flecks of gold.
CHAPTER 31
Beau Francis McCarthy was delivered at 6.08 pm on Friday the first of December 2000; he never took a breath and was instantly declared stillborn. My uterus had ruptured either from the force of the impact of the car or from the force of landing on the cold concrete, nobody could tell me for sure, my baby was delivered and an emergency hysterectomy had to be performed to stop the bleeding.
Beau was brought to me to hold at 8:30 pm that night when I came around from my surgery, my whole family were around my bed, but I asked them all to leave. Marley refused and he stood and watched as I bathed and dressed my perfect little boy in the coming home outfit that was packed in my hospital bag, which was already in the car and had travelled everywhere we did these past few weeks, thanks to my very organised Husband.
Beau had a mop of curly brown hair and looked exactly like his Daddy.
I wrapped him in the blue fleece blanket that Milo and his Wife had bought for us, it had guitars on it and Sean had asked where it had come from and ordered a half dozen more.
I sat on my bed with my brother as he held my son, his nephew and sobbed while we waited for the nurse to come and fetch me.
At 9:45 pm I was wheeled in a wheel chair up to intensive care and allowed to introduce Sean to our son. Lennon and Bailey helped lift me onto his bed, where I curled into his side, his arm around me and our little boy.
Sean’s life support was switched off at 11.28 pm, and he died peacefully at 11.43pm on that same night, with me and our son in his arms, surrounded by all of my family and his parents.
We buried them together two weeks later, when I was eventually ‘recovered’ enough to attend the funeral.
My only regret was that I wasn’t already dead and going in the ground with them, my life was over now anyway, so it was only a matter of time before I joined them.
I wanted to be numb, and I wanted not to feel but I was in agony. Once the funeral was over I knew exactly what had to be done.