"Fine, but hurry, man!"
The policeman ran out into the road and stopped a horse-drawn fourwheeler, ejecting its indignant passengers.
"I say! What the devil do you think you're playing at?" objected the portly old gentleman who suddenly found himself without a ride. "My wife is sixty-two, don't you know!"
"Harold!" gasped his heavily made-up spouse.
"Oh, er, sorry, my dear," stammered the erstwhile passenger; then, upon spying Swinburne as Burton heaved him onto the seat, he cried: "Great Scott! The poor fellow! By all means take the carriage! By all means!"
"Much obliged," said Burton, picking up Fidget and climbing in.
The constable followed. "Where to?" he asked.
"Bayham Street, Mornington Crescent! As fast as possible!"
The policeman repeated the address to the driver then shut the door and sat back as the vehicle jerked into motion.
"Constable Yates," he said by way of an introduction. "So what's the story? You both look proper beat up!"
"King's business, Yates! Take a look at this."
Burton took his credentials from his wallet and showed them to the constable.
"Bless me! The king's signature! You're the boss, then, sir. What can I do to help?"
Fishing his notebook out of his pocket, Burton started writing.
"We'll drop you at Scotland Yard," he said. "I want you to deliver this note to Detective Inspector Trounce. I'm recommending an immediate police raid on Battersea Power Station!"
"The Technologist headquarters? That's rather a tall order, if you don't mind me saying so!"
Burton didn't reply, but continued to fill the page with his tiny, cramped handwriting.
The carriage swung eastward onto Grosvenor Road and from there followed the river up via Millbank, past the Houses of Parliament, and on to the Yard. Barely stopping to allow Constable Yates to hop out, it raced on along the Strand, weaving in and out of the traffic, the two horses flecked with sweat, rounded into Kingsway, and continued on up Southampton Row and Eversholt Street. It shot past Mornington Crescent before careening into Bayham Street.
"Here!" shouted Burton as they reached number 3, and he leaped out as the carriage came to a halt. "Wait!"
Striding swiftly to the front door, he gave the bellpull a violent tug and waited impatiently for a response. He was just reaching for it again when the door opened.
"Why, Captain Burton!" exclaimed Widow Wheeltapper. "How nice of you to call!"
"My apologies, ma'am, but there's been an accident. I require Sister Raghavendra's assistance. Is she at home?"
"Oh my! I shall send Polly for her at once!"
Burton stepped into the house and sprang up the stairs, calling back: "Pray don't trouble yourself, my good woman! I'll go!"
"But propriety, Captain! Propriety!" cried the old woman. Her visitor, though, was already halfway to the upper apartment. He was met at the top of the stairs by Sister Raghavendra, who'd come to investigate the commotion.
"Sadhvi!" cried Burton. "I need your help! My friend has been injured! Can you come?"
"At once, Captain!" she said decisively. "A moment!"
She ducked back into her room and emerged a minute later wearing her nurse's bonnet and her jacket, and carrying a carpet bag.
They ran down the stairs and out of the front door, leaving the flustered old widow calling after them: "A chaperone! My goodness, young lady! You haven't a chaperone!"
"Montagu Place, at the double!" commanded Burton as they reached the carriage and clambered in.
The driver cracked his whip and the panting horses set off at a gallop.
Inside the rocking and bumping cabin, Sister Raghavendra examined Swinburne.
"What on earth happened to him?"
"Your albino friend happened," said Burton.
She paled, her fingers running over the poet's skin, examining the wounds, gauging their severity.
"The albino?" she gasped. "But this looks like the work of a wild animal! "
"How is he, Sister? He's been unconscious for some time."
"He's not unconscious, Captain Burton. He's asleep. He must be utterly exhausted."
Turning from Hampstead Road into Euston Road, the carriage stampeded on past velocipedes and steam-horses, between carts and hansoms, with pedestrians scattering as it thundered along, until, on Marylebone Road, the traffic became so thick that progress was slowed to a crawl.
Burton poked his head out of the window and shouted up to the driver, "Take to the back streets, man!"
The driver obeyed, and as Burton had hoped, the less direct route proved easier to navigate. Minutes later, the carriage drew up outside his home.
"Will you bring the dog?" he asked the nurse as he stepped out and lifted Swinburne. She nodded and scooped up Fidget.
After passing a handful of coins up to the driver, Burton carried his friend to the front door, opened it, and ascended the stairs to the second floor, where he deposited Swinburne in the spare bedroom. For the first time, he noticed that the poet was clutching something. It was a coat, which Burton pulled from his hands and flung into a wardrobe.
Sister Raghavendra, who'd followed him into the room, laid Fidget down and opened her carpet bag. She started to pull out vials, rolls of bandages, and other tools of her trade.
"I'll need a basin of hot water, Captain," she advised. "This is going to take some time. I've never seen so many cuts and bruises! The poor boy must have suffered terribly."
Algernon Swinburne opened his eyes. "I did," he muttered. "And it was glorious!"
It was nine o'clock in the evening and Swinburne was sitting up in bed, sipping at a cup of revitalising beef broth. Sir Richard Francis Burton had carried extra chairs into the room and in them, along with himself, sat Detective Inspector Trounce, who'd just arrived, and Sister Raghavendra. Mrs. Angell had permitted the young woman's unchaperoned attendance on account of her being a professional nurse and a member of the Sisterhood of Noble Benevolence.
"Absolutely no show, I'm afraid," reported the Yard man, settling into his seat. "We simply couldn't get into the place; it was locked up like a fortress. The lights were blazing and we could see all manner of machinery sparking away inside but of a single man there was no sign. Lord knows what kind of glass they've used in the place; we battered at it with crowbars to absolutely no effect. As for the doors, I doubt even dynamite could shift them. I've posted men around the building, of course, but aside from that, what can I do? But see here, Captain Burton-I took it on faith that you had a good reason for the raid. Perhaps you might enlighten me now?"
"For that, Detective Inspector, we shall turn to my bedridden friend here. May I present Mr. Algernon Swinburne, the esteemed poet," said Burton, graciously.
"And follower of de Sade!" blurted Trounce.
Mrs. Angell, who was at the back of the room pouring cups of tea, cleared her throat.
"Oh, I say-I'm-er-" mumbled the detective.
Swinburne giggled and said, "Pleased to meet you, Detective Inspector; and I assure you that despite my proclivity for the vices of the aforementioned gentleman-if gentleman is the appropriate word, which it almost certainly isn't-these wounds you see were neither self-inflicted nor delivered by request."
"Um-by Jove, that's a relief," responded Trounce, uncertainly.
"I think-" began Mrs. Angell, with a glance at the sister.
Burton held up his hand to stop her and interjected: "There are ladies present, gentlemen; let's not forget that. Now then, Algy, perhaps you can give us an account of your experiences?"