This vision completely satisfied my esthetic expectations, and I broke into a smile.
“Shall we run down to the Glutton and back, Shurf? Or shall we pretend that you’re too busy?”
“Too busy I’m not,” he replied. “The Glutton Bunba is a place I missed even when we were in the Country Home.”
“Even in the back room of the Country Home, where stern, gray-haired men threw themselves into games for small stakes, to kill time? I don’t believe it!”
“You’re right, Max. Let’s go, before I change my mind. Sir Melifaro, I’m leaving.”
“Has something already happened in the dark alleys of our capital, gentlemen killers?” Melifaro’s quizzical face poked out of the doors of his office. “Whose blood are you planning to drink? Really—has something happened?”
“No,” Lonli-Lokli said. “We just think that your backside alone will be more than enough to wipe the dust off the chairs of our side of the Ministry. And Max and I will be doing just about the same thing, but in another place. I deeply regret that your working schedule won’t allow you to accompany us to the Glutton at this time of day.” He turned to me. “Let’s hurry, Max, before something does happen. You’re too lucky in attracting adventures.”
Melifaro’s mouth fell open. The airy monologue of the deadpan Lonli-Lokli, the last bastion of seriousness in our small, zany organization, was too much for him.
“Where’s our good old Lomki-Lonki? What did you do to him at that resort town, Max? Cast a spell on him? Admit it, you beast you!”
“There’s nothing to admit. I just gave him a piece of my mind a few times and swore at him like it was going out of style. Right, Shurf?” I winked at Lonli-Lokli. “I’ll have to try the same thing on this fellow here. Who knows what kinds of transformations—”
“Yes, Max, that was some first-rate cussing you did there,” Shurf said with an air of nostalgia. “As for Melifaro, I think you might want to give it a try in his presence. Maybe after that he’ll finally learn my name. You must do it soon. In the interests of civic peace and social tranquility.”
And we left proudly, the two most fearsome people in the Unified Kingdom, I in the Mantle of Death, and Shurf in the Garments of Truth—a veritable double-edged sword.
An hour later we returned, and Melifaro forced us to go over the whole thing again.
“Come on, what did you do to Loki-Lonki, Mr. Bad Dream?”
Poor Melifaro, the best investigator in all this World, kept on trying to get to the bottom of this unyielding mystery. I even started feeling sorry for him. It had been so long since I had had my own secrets, though. These days I was always trying to uncover the secrets of other people.
“I’ve told you the honest truth, friend. Shurf tried to wake me up, and I let him have it. Then I just about died with shame. But everything blew over, as you can see. Maybe my cursing worked like a spell.”
“What exactly did you tell him?” Melifaro prodded incredulously.
“I don’t remember. Ask him yourself. He took notes on my performance, and then demanded that I translate the meaning of some very colorful and exotic words.”
“He took notes? Well, Max, you’ve put my mind at ease. It’s not all that bad. Only good old Shurf is capable of writing down all the filth people say to him in good conscience. To broaden his horizons. Yes, that means everything is fine.”
Juffin was already waiting for me in the office by the time I returned to the House by the Bridge.
“Ta-da!” I exclaimed from the doorway. “I completely forgot! You asked me to bring you a souvenir from your homeland.” I drew the crumpled parcel from the pocket of the Mantle of Death. “I decided to give you the thing that moved me more than all the other Kettarian wonders. Don’t be offended.”
“Offended? Why should I get offended, Max?” I noticed with astonishment that Juffin was sniffing the package and inhaling its unbearable stench with downright pleasure. “Oh, I understand. You know nothing about real delicacies, son!” Sir Juffin carefully unwrapped the parcel and bit off a piece in delight. “You wanted to laugh at the old man, didn’t you? You can’t imagine how happy you’ve made me!”
Deep down, I’m not such a scoundrel as I seem. I wasn’t terribly disappointed. If Sir Juffin considers that to be a rare delicacy—well, so much the better.
“Excellent,” I said, and smiled. “The greater are my chances of escaping alive from the clutches of the famous Kettarian Hunter.”
“Well, if I were you, I wouldn’t indulge in false modesty, nor would I get my hopes up. Didn’t Mackie tell you that hope is a foolish sentiment?”
“So you were there with me, Juffin? I knew it, I just knew it!”
“Don’t be silly, Max. I was right here in Echo, and I was engaged in much more important matters than—” He trailed off, but his smile was cunning.
“The next time you’re on hand to observe my sensational adventures, if it’s not too much trouble, will you please applaud my modest victories? I’d appreciate it.”
And with enormous pleasure I demonstrated the famous Kettarian gesture, two gentle taps on the nose with the forefinger of the right had. Practice had made perfect—I did it almost automatically.
“Oh, Max!” Juffin said. “Sometimes you’re really touching, do you know that? Fine. You’ll be having a mug of kamra with Melamori soon. Sir Kofa will grab you tonight, there’s no room for doubt there. And Lookfi won’t fail to visit you at sundown, as soon as he puts the buriwoks to bed for the night, and before you leave for home. How do you like that for a busy schedule? You won’t collapse in exhaustion?”
“I just might. And you, Juffin? Have you had enough for today?”
“Absolutely. I’m on my way home. Do as you wish, but I’m tired after the past few days. I’ll just stop by Xolomi—one of the old-timers there took a notion to escape, can you imagine? Now the boys are trying to scrape his remains from the walls of his cell, and I’m required to be present, since someone there thinks it’s a serious case. A ‘serious case’!” Juffin said comically, and stood up. I plunked myself down in the chair he had just vacated.
Thereafter, everything happened strictly according to the schedule Sir Juffin Hully had devised. I even shared some kamra with Lady Melamori, as he had predicted—something I really hadn’t counted on. But we chattered away like old friends, I won’t deny it.
Things were falling into place in my life. I didn’t dare count on more. For the time being, it was enough.
It took me three days to realize that none of my colleagues liked cigars. Only Lady Melamori was daring enough to try one, but it was pure bravado. Her face didn’t show a trace of pleasure, just undiluted determination. I stuffed the box in the desk drawer. I had one vague hope left—that General Boboota would recover.
He had to be good for something, that big meanie! He’d look great with a cigar stuck in his mouth. And these were the biggest worries I had, Magicians be praised!
“You’re still not missing a dose of daily marvels?” Sir Juffin asked innocently on about the fourth day after my return.
“Not at all,” I said. “Has something happened?”
“Well, the marvels have been missing you,” Juffin said, with a grin. “I was just wondering whether you’d want to keep me company. I’m thinking of visiting Maba.”
“What a question! Of course I do!”
This time Maba Kalox met us in the hall.
“I think today we might sit in another room,” he remarked casually. “You have no objection to a little variety, do you?”
Wandering rather aimlessly through the corridors (I got the impression that Sir Maba himself wasn’t entirely sure which door led to this ‘other room’), we finally settled ourselves in a small chamber that resembled a bedroom more than a living room, though I didn’t see a bed.
“Mackie’s spoiling you, Max,” our cordial host said, pulling out a tray with some strange dishes from under the small table. “He’s sent you enough of those smoking sticks to last you the rest of your life. You’ve probably even stopped practicing.”