Half an hour later, after three drinks, and a trip downstairs to the marble and mahogany loo, where Peter’s father emerged from a cubicle and engaged him in earnest talk by the basins while a dozen tipsy guests darted or staggered in and out, he accompanied the old man up the grand stairs and thought about saying his goodbyes and going. The huge brass chandeliers had been switched on, and the room was thinning. It seemed the blond man had already left, and at this Rob felt almost relieved. And really this wasn’t the moment… and with the eager young Gareth to see in an hour, at the Style Bar… He looked round for Desmond, whom he had, not quite purposely, been avoiding.
He saw him talking to an elderly couple, with a resolute air of courtesy which Rob found lightly chastening as he slid towards him. He gave him the warm little smile of a prior claim, over their two grey heads. Desmond caught his eye but carried on talking, ‘Well, we’ll speak to Anne about it – that should work out well,’ still standing stiffly, so that Rob, in momentary confusion, merely gave him a hug, sideways on; and was then introduced to Mr and Mrs Sorley.
‘Did you know Peter well?’ asked Mrs Sorley, small and sweet-faced, a bit thrown perhaps by a glass of wine in the afternoon, and the crowded occasion. They were Yorkshire, it seemed lived there still.
‘Not well,’ said Rob, ‘I sold him a lot of expensive books.’
‘Oh… oh, I see! No, we’re old friends of Terry and Rose – well, Bill was in the army with Terry, and of course I knew Rose in the Wrens – all those years ago!’ – a guileless promptness of exposure. Rob said,
‘So you knew Peter all his life,’ and smiled back.
‘Oh yes,’ she said, with a conscientious little shake of the head. ‘I was just saying to Desmond, how Petie used to put on plays when he was quite small – him and his sister played all the parts. Proper grown-up plays, you know – Julius Caesar.’
‘I can just imagine!’ Rob thought they could hardly have expected then to have been up in London half a century later, at Peter’s own memorial, talking to his male partner. He wanted to commiserate with them and also in a way to congratulate them.
‘Well, I must have a word with Sir Edward,’ said Desmond, with a dutiful smile.
‘Well, well done today,’ said Rob, mournful, head on one side.
‘Yeah, thanks, Rob. We’ll be in touch – we’ve got your e-mail, I think’ – so was there a new man on the scene already? Or was the ‘we’ a mere habit, the way he thought of his and Peter’s home? With a kiss for Mrs Sorley, though not for Rob, he went off across the room, amid sympathetic smiles and blank but lingering glances.
Rob spoke a bit longer to the Sorleys, feeling stung by Desmond’s coldness, and of course completely unable to protest or explain. It was true he hadn’t been to the funeral, hadn’t been in touch with Desmond at all since 1995. He meant nothing to Desmond. And it occurred to him, as he gazed a little distractedly over Bill Sorley’s shoulder, that perhaps Desmond thought Rob had only come today out of some idea he had of making an offer for Peter’s library – which was, in truth, at the back of his mind. Though there was more to it than that, much more.
He could see the Sorleys rather sticking to him, now they’d got him, among all these strangers and alarming if sometimes unnameable celebrities. Paul Bryant and Bobby were leaving, Bobby turning and giving Rob a finger wave. They went out through the double doors, arm in arm for a moment, so that he felt abashed by their evident contentment and self-sufficiency. ‘That’s very funny,’ he said to Bill Sorley, ‘yes…’: they seemed happy to do most of the talking. He spotted Jennifer, by the white marble fireplace, talking to a man he’d seen arrive about half an hour ago, as if unavoidably detained or really as if appointments of any kind were beyond him. He had a soft, intelligent but very nervous face, and thick shoulder-length grey hair, unwashed and unmanageable, which he ran his hands through incessantly as he spoke. His suit was old and shiny and scuffed at the heels, and Rob imagined he might have had some difficulty getting past the porter downstairs. He couldn’t tell from Jennifer’s expression, which seemed to hover between grief and hilarity, if she needed rescuing. He smiled and slumped regretfully – ‘Well, I think I really have to go…’
As he approached her, she looked up and nodded at him, as if they were partners themselves, or at least had some useful and chivalrous agreement for the occasion. The man half turned – ‘Well, it was marvellous to see you, darling,’ a cultured voice, terrible teeth, a flinching smile, the look of being fed up with being a nuisance to people.
‘And you!’ said Jennifer, warm in the moment of escape; but perhaps here there was more to it too. ‘Shall we?’ she said to Rob. And then, ‘This is Julian Keeping.’
‘Hello.’ Rob smiled keenly at him, leant in and shook his hand, which had a bony grip.
Keeping flapped his other hand, as if to say he wouldn’t bother them further. ‘An old friend of Peter’s, from way back,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘Too long ago!’ He had a sad smell to him – Rob didn’t think it was drink, that sweet and sour choke to the nose; but smoke certainly, his finger ends and nails were tanned; and beyond that perhaps just long and compounded neglect. Rob nodded to him again, and then followed Jennifer to the door.
‘Are you getting a taxi?’ she said, at the top of the stairs, and Rob saw, which he hadn’t a minute before, that she was pretty drunk. She went down with high-stepping wariness, smiling faintly, preoccupied perhaps by thoughts of this unfortunate man. Rob was bright and speedy with drink himself, laughing half-guiltily at the echo of his own voice off the marble stairwell. ‘Believe it or not,’ she said, ‘that was my first sweetheart.’
‘Really,’ said Rob. ‘Well…’ He glanced at her, still unsure of her feelings, or what she would let him see of them.
‘He couldn’t be said to have worn well.’
‘Um, no…’
‘Corinna’s son, in fact,’ she said.
‘Oh, really?’ Rob looked narrowly at her. ‘So, your cousin, and, let me get this right, Cecil Valance’s grandson!’
‘Well, if you believe all that,’ she said; she shook her head and laughed, ‘Oh god!’
They went to their separate cloakrooms, and then he waited for her under the columns of the hall – the lights on now and a glimpse through the glass doors of evening already in possession of the street outside. She came back out with a humorous smile of accepted courtesy, a little flushed, but clearly, even determinedly, refocused on the present. Her coat was long, dark, made of some softly crinkling and glowing material, shyly extravagant, and again with an air of being a fashion all of her own. ‘So funny seeing Paul Bryant,’ she said, as they went through into the lobby, her tone again very dry.
‘Oh, yes,’ said Rob, glad she hadn’t forgotten her promise.
‘I probably shouldn’t say this…’
‘Oh, surely?’ – catching her mischievous look under the flowered hat, and giddily aware of the contrasting sobriety of the porter, in his striped trousers. Jennifer glanced over her shoulder. ‘He was always somewhat of a fantasist, you see. He told the most pitiful stories about his father, being a fighter pilot, shot down at the end of the war – somewhere or other.’
‘You don’t remember?’
‘No, he was the one who didn’t remember. The story kept changing. My aunt and I picked up on it, she thought it was odd, she had a terrifying eye for any kind of nonsense.’
‘This is Corinna, you mean?’