‘Oh, for god’s sake,’ said Rob.
‘No, a bit naff, perhaps.’ Raymond shielded his feelings with a genial-sounding change of subject. ‘So what can I do for you, Rob?’
Rob narrowed his eyes. ‘You said you might have something for me…’
‘Oh, yes… Yes, indeed.’ Raymond swivelled his chair and peered bemusedly around the office – a moment’s teasing to cover his excitement. He raked his beard as his eyes ran over the shelves. ‘I thought, this is quite up Rob’s street… if I can only find it. Oh, I know, I put it in my naughty drawer’ – and leaning forward over himself, Raymond tugged open the bottom drawer of a filing-cabinet. The naughty drawer was where he kept things he didn’t want the Harrow schoolboys to find, in their occasional lingering searches in the more hidden parts of the shop. Sometimes a house clearance turned up a stash of girlie mags or even muscle mags which by now were antique collectibles in themselves. Raymond was the mere dealer – to Rob’s eye he seemed to survey an old Penthouse and an issue of Physique Pictorial with the same gruff detachment. Now he brought out a red leather-bound book, a thickish quarto, at a glance a journal or manuscript book, with a rounded spine to enable it to open flat. He swivelled back, weighing the book in both hands, as if he shouldn’t let it go without certain warnings and preconditions. ‘What do you know about someone called Harry Hewitt?’
‘Nothing whatever.’ Rob saw that the book had a clasp, a lockable diary, perhaps; on the front, under Raymond’s thumb, an embossed gold H.
‘No…’ Raymond nodded. ‘Quite an interesting character. Died in the sixties. Businessman, art collector – left some stuff to the V and A?’ Rob shook his head obligingly. ‘Lived up the road – Harrow Weald. Big house called Mattocks, sort of Arts and Crafts. Never married,’ said Raymond reasonably.
‘I get the picture.’
‘Lived with his sister, who died in the mid-seventies. After which Mattocks became an old people’s home. Closed down a few years ago – place boarded up, kids got in, a bit of vandalism, not too bad. Now about to be demolished.’
‘I assume Hector’s been over it…?’
‘There wasn’t much left.’
‘No, well, those old folks…’
Raymond grunted. ‘Thieves got the best stained-glass windows. Hector salvaged a fireplace or two. But there was a strong-room no one had got into, which didn’t hold Hector back for long. Nothing valuable in it, apparently, just papers and stuff from Hewitt’s days.’
‘Including what you have in your hand.’
Raymond passed it over – and as he did so the hinged brass bar of the lock dropped open. ‘We had to cut it, I’m afraid.’
‘Oh…’ It seemed to Rob a bit rum that a man who could unlock a strong-room had to take a hacksaw to a book. A handsome book, too, the inner border of the binding tooled in gold, thick gold on the page-edges, the endpapers with gold-seamed crimson marbling, bound by Webster’s, ‘By Appointment to Queen Alexandra’. Rob winced at the violation, quite apart from the damage to the price. Inside perhaps a hundred pages densely written over in greyish blue-black ink, a sheet of mauve blotting-paper half-way through marking where the writing stopped.
‘Have a look at it,’ said Raymond. ‘Cup of tea?’
And so he settled Rob down, after jarring shunting of a large wardrobe, in a tiny improvised sitting-room, made out of a chaise-longue, a bedside cupboard and a standard-lamp. The tea was served in a bone-china cup and saucer. Beyond the wardrobe, he could hear Raymond back at his computer, moments of music and talk.
At first, Rob wasn’t sure what he was reading. ‘December 27, 1911 – My dear Harry – I can never thank you enough for the Gramophone, or “Sheraton Upright Grand” to give it its official title! It is the most splendid gift anyone ever had, Harry old boy. You should have seen my sister’s face when the lid was first opened – it was a Study, Harry. My mother says it is quite unearthly to have Mr McCormack singing his heart out in her own humble Drawing room! You must come and hear him yourself soon Harry. Mere Thanks are inadequate Harry old boy – Best love from Yours ever Hubert.’ The handwriting was small, vigorous and compacted. Under a ruled line another letter began immediately: ‘January 11, 1912 – My dear old Harry – A Thousand thanks for the Books. The binding alone is most handsome and Sheridan one of the best writers I am sure. My mother says we must read the plays out Harry she is keen for you to take a Part! Daphne is all set to dress up too! You know I am not much of an actor Harry old boy. We will see you tomorrow at 7.30. Really you are too kind to us all. Tons of love from yours Hubert.’
So, a letter-book, copies kept by the grateful ‘Hubert’? It seemed a bit unlikely he would show such pride in them. In which case, letters transcribed by their recipient, also ‘H’ of course, to immortalize them, if that was the word? So many of them were thank-you letters that it seemed little more than a vanity project. He had an image of this wealthy old queen in effect writing thank-you letters to himself (‘ “My dear Harry,” wrote Harry.’). Rob skimmed on, with lowish expectations, eye out for proper nouns… Harrow, Mattocks, Stanmore, the whole thing parochial in the extreme, and then Hamburg, ‘when you get back from Germany, Harry,’ well, we knew Harry was a businessman. Rob sipped frowningly at his tea. It was slightly chilly in the shop. ‘You will not find me much use at bridge, Harry, Old maid is about my level!’
Jumping ahead, Rob started to see there was something else going on, a kind of shadow side to the glow of gratitude. June 4, 1913 – ‘My dear old Harry, I am very sorry but you know by now I am not the demonstrative type, it is not in my nature Harry.’ September 14, 1913 – ‘Harry, you must not think me ungrateful, no one ever had a better friend, however I’m afraid I do rather shun, and Dislike, displays of physical affection between men. It is not in my way Harry.’ In fact – of course – the two strands often came together, thanks and no thanks. Perhaps the book of vanity was also a covert record of mortification – or success: Rob didn’t know how it was going to end. He tried to picture the displays of physical affection – what were they? More than hugs, kisses, perhaps, begun with tense negligence, then growing more insistent and difficult. And meanwhile the presents escalated. May 1913, ‘The gun arrived this morning – it’s an absolute ripper, Harry old boy’; October 1913, ‘Harry, I can’t thank you enough for the truly splendid wardrobe. My poor old suits look quite shabby in their new home!’ – and a quaint reflection, ‘Creature comforts in life do matter Harry, whatever the Divines may say!’ Then January 1914, ‘My dear old Harry, the little car is a joy – I went out with Daphne for a spin in her – we did 48mph several times! She says a Straker is the best car in the world, and I am bound to agree. Only a large Wolseley overhauled us.’ Was there a certain hardening, the half-hidden note of covetousness, poor puzzled Hubert very slightly corrupted by all this generosity? Perhaps Harry would give him a Wolseley next. To an ardent gay man the recurrent olds that tolled through the letters – ‘My dear old Harry’, ‘Harry old boy’ – however cheerfully meant, might have palled after a bit: ‘I cannot believe you are 37 tomorrow, Harry old boy!’ in November 1912. Well, it was a curiosity – clever of Raymond to see that, and worth paying a bit for. One of Garsaint’s customers would probably go for it, the collectors of Gay Lives, which Rob had made a speciality of. And then of course the date.
He leafed forward, something resistant in the dense exclamatory crawl of the writing, the words themselves. There was very little after the end of 1914 – a few short letters from France, it seemed: BEF Rouen, more whole-hearted letters now they were apart, perhaps, and the whole perspective had changed. Then a letter of April 5, 1917: ‘My dear old Harry – A quick letter as we are moving shortly but don’t know where. They don’t give us much notice as a rule. A glorious day, which makes life feel much more worth living. We had our Easter service today, as we shall probably be moved by then, and I stayed to Communion afterwards. You will keep an eye on Hazel won’t you Harry old boy – she is a dear sweet girl – and on Mother and Daphne too. Goodnight Harry and best love from Hubert.’ After which Harry had written, ‘My last letter from my darling boy: FINIS.’ But underneath, in a ruled ink box, there was a little memoriaclass="underline"