They tugged at each other’s clothing, making themselves naked in the firelight. “You’re beautiful,” he told her, his voice filled with awe.
Jamie was amazed by his words. Did he really think that? “Oh, but you’re the one who is beautiful,” she told him. And he was. His body was lean and brown and muscular. His erect penis was amazing. It was a magnet pulling her toward him, her desire so great she felt as though she would cease to exist if she did not take it inside of her. She had been waiting her entire life for this moment and had no fear. Only desire.
She gasped as he thrust himself into her. And then she thrust back, marveling at the feel of him. She felt herself melting around him as wave upon wave of sensation cascaded over her skin and through her belly and veins and mind until finally sensation was all that there was-white, hot, intense sensation that filled every pore of her body and lifted her higher and higher until finally it exploded inside of her.
And for a span of time-a hundred years or a few seconds-she lost herself. She could not have said who she was or where she was. All that existed in the entire universe was her body and his.
When finally she could speak, the only word she could say was his name. Over and over she said it. He held her tenderly and stroked her hair and covered her face and neck with kisses. Then he began to speak, telling her that he had always loved her. Even when she was a little girl, he had felt a kind of sweet, protective love for her. And he knew that this love was something that would linger and grow and one day become the center of his life. He had even told his mother that he would like to marry Jamie Long when she grew up. Then Marcia came along, and they didn’t so much as love each other as use each other. They skirted the issue of commitment, but he had begun to feel as though it was inevitable, as though it was something he owed her. When he told her about his plan to go to Europe, Marcia suggested that they should go their separate ways for a time. He’d been gone for months before he called her. The conversation had been cool. He didn’t call her again. While he was trying to decide if he should come home when his fellowship was over or trek around the Continent with some of the guys he’d met at Oxford, he’d called his grandparents to ask if they’d ever heard from Jamie. Then he called Austin information. And Mesquite information. And he’d gone to a cyber café to search for her, but there were countless Jamie Longs. And he didn’t know her middle name or initial.
“What is your middle name?” he asked, rising up on his elbow and looking down at her face.
“Amelia,” she said. “It was my mother’s name.”
“Amelia,” he said softly, then he continued explaining how it seemed as though she had vanished off the face of the earth and he realized that he didn’t want to decide about his future until he had seen her again. So he simply drifted along with the other guys. He had been drunk when he staggered onto the ship.
“I thought about you even more on shipboard than I had on dry land. The waves made me think of you. And the wind. And the night sky. Remember how wonderful we thought the night sky was in Mesquite? I knew I had to find you and take you out into the middle of the ocean to show you what a night sky really looks like.”
“I love you,” she told him, “and I will love you for the rest of my life.”
By way of disguise, Joe shaved his head and let his beard grow. Jamie’s cheeks turned red with whisker burn, but after several days of growth, the whiskers became less bristly.
They allowed themselves a week to put the future on hold and enjoy being in an isolated, beautiful place while they explored each other’s bodies and hearts and minds. They had no radio or television to interrupt the process. The rest of the world could have vanished, and they wouldn’t have known it. They walked for hours on the beach and took turns swimming in the ocean while the other watched over Billy. Joe became proficient at diapering and learned how easy it was to make Billy smile and gurgle and wave his arms and legs. They both knew this idyllic time was only temporary, but that made it all the more precious.
Only when they held a planning session did reality intrude. And only then did they argue. Jamie refused to be left alone. Joe insisted it was too dangerous for the three of them to go. It was bad enough to have had Billy onboard while they traversed little-used secondary roads, but there was no way he could avoid Houston traffic. And by now, Gus Hartmann’s people would be looking for them on a Harley, which was the reason he had to go to Houston in the first place.
On the last day before Joe’s departure, they hiked to a convenience store and stocked up on diapers and other provisions. Jamie bought some magazines and newspapers to help her fill the time of waiting that lay ahead. Joe had already paid another week’s rent on the cabin in advance and given her a roll of bills that she’d put in her backpack along with diapers, a change of clothes for herself and the baby, a couple of water bottles, a bag of trail mix, and a road map-just in case she had to make another hasty departure. Joe knew that she was remembering Oklahoma City and how she could have been out the door minutes sooner if she had been better prepared and came within seconds of losing her life.
That evening, with Joe carrying the baby, they had taken an evening walk on the beach and sat cross-legged on the warm sand while they watched the sun set. “I should be back here by tomorrow evening or the day after,” Joe told her. “But if I have to lie low for a time, it might be longer. If I’m not back by the end of the week, you probably should assume the worst.”
He tried to engage her in a discussion of what she should do then, but she refused to go there. “You have to,” he said, “for Billy’s sake if not your own.”
“Later,” she said. “Let’s just sit here for a while longer and listen to the sounds.”
And they did. To the wind and waves. And the methodical clanging of a distant buoy bell. Joe reached for her hand.
When Billy began to fuss, they walked back to the cabin. Jamie changed him and nursed him to sleep. Then they talked. After considering all the difficulties involved with fleeing to a foreign country, they finally decided that if he did not return she should go through the same process as before-find the grave of a child who would have been close to Jamie’s age had she lived and use her name to get yet another birth certificate and Social Security number. The money Joe had given her should be enough to last for several months. By then, hopefully she could find a job and start a new life.
“How can we sit here and talk sanely about how I should live my life without you?” she asked. “We only just found each other. And if you die, it will be my fault. I created this impossible mess. If anyone should die, it should be me. But if I die, my child will be raised by a religious fanatic who thinks she speaks for God and by her insidiously evil brother.”
“I don’t want to die, Jamie,” Joe told her. “I want to live on and make little brothers and sisters for Billy. I want to live to a ripe old age with you at my side. But if I die tomorrow, I will be grateful for this time we have had together.”
She nodded. “Me, too.”
Then she reached for him, and they made love with tears and poignancy and frantic professions of eternal love.
Joe woke at dawn surprised that he had slept at all. Jamie was curled on her side beside him. He lay there for a time, reminding himself why it was necessary for him to get on with things, why he couldn’t wait a few more days to make this trip no matter how gut-wrenching it was to think of her here alone and defenseless. Their time here had been glorious, but always a nagging voice in the back of his mind kept reminding him that the longer they stayed in one place the more likely they were to be discovered. Someone could make an innocent remark about seeing a young couple with a baby walking on the beach. Or helping this clueless guy who was trying to buy clothes for his girlfriend and her baby. Or renting a beach cabin to a young couple who arrived on a motorcycle with a baby and not much else.