He sighed. "I didn't understand that when I asked to go into action. Not that I didn't want to...I just didn't realize how alone it would leave my old friend."
Melissa's eyes were filled with concern. "You love him, then? He is a man who is easy to love?"
Ardan considered that question carefully. "I wouldn't say he is easy to love. To love him, you have to know him well. He can seem very harsh and stern, when need be. But inside he is a caring man. Even when I was a tiny lad, and he was so much older, bigger, and stronger, he was always patient, even tender—for a boy—when it came to me. He never made me feel like a nuisance, though I must have been one often."
"What did you do together? When you were boys?" Melissa was sitting cross-legged on the carpet, looking up with the starry eyes of a child. Ardan didn't smile.
"We went fishing and caught whales that turned into minnows, once we got them home. We trapped grassbirds for the farmers, to keep them from spoiling the fields of grain. We picked fruits from my father's farm, and we helped the family that had the care of Hanse with the work there, too. Hanse's father didn't believe in bringing up a Prince to behave like someone above and beyond ordinary people."
"Like Mother!" Melissa exclaimed.
"Very like," Ardan agreed. "We went boating on the river...almost drowned, too. I understand now that the convenient fishermen who pulled us out were there just for the purpose of seeing that the younger son of their ruler survived to grow up. And a good thing it was, too. Otherwise, when Ian was killed, that slimy Michael would have managed to seize power. Hanse's sister is no Katrina. She is easily swayed."
"And when he went away...to be trained as a Mech-Warrior...did you miss him?"
"Terribly. If it hadn't been for my father's promise that I would go, too, as soon as I was old enough, I might well have pined away. Like a pet whose master has left it behind."
Melissa set her chin on her fists. "I have heard that Hanse was a brilliant warrior. Brave and resourceful. Did you ever go into battle with him? When you were old enough?"
"Only once, just before his brother was killed. I was young. Just trained. Hanse used to see to my training personally when he could find the time and opportunity. We were attacking an enemy position from two sides. I was on the left flank, he was on the right of the center line in a WarHammer."Behind his eyes, Ardan could still see the battle. He felt his blood warm at the memory.
"There was a unit of 'Mechs there, backed by infantry with hand-weapons and tanks armed and ready. It was the last stronghold of the enemy onplanet, and we had to root them out.
"The position had been dug into a cliff with a heavy overhang of granite, where sandstone had been washed out beneath it by some ancient stream or sea. An impossible position, believe me. We were taking heavy losses, for we had to bunch up to rush the only entrance, and that brought us into the line of fire of everything they had."
Melissa had straightened, her eyes huge as she listened raptly.
"As Hanse came through our ranks, he signalled for us to fall back. When we did, he walked right up to that hellish entryway and threw in everything he had at itThen he stood there, taking fire from every direction, every kind you can imagine, while his PPC hammered at the pillar of sandstone at the edge of the portal."
"What happened then?" demanded Melissa, when he paused for breath.
"Hanse must have felt like a piece of cooked meat— with his 'Mech getting hotter every minute. But he kept right on firing until the granite roof caved in on the entire enemy installation—men, 'Mechs, tanks, and all. We dug them out later, but only a few men survived. We got 'Mechs and replacement parts out of there that we're still using." He recalled his ruined Victorand sighed.
"He is brave, then. And an original thinker...I like that," the girl said. "I don't think I could be happy with someone who went by the book all the time."
Ardan chuckled. "Never accuse Hanse of that!" he said. "He writes a new book whenever he has to, and never limits himself to what's been done before."
"He was so kind to me the one time we were together for any length of time," she said. "We had seen each other when he met with mother and the Councillors, but we'd spoken only once or twice. Mother gave an entertainment ...do you remember it?...when the treaty was finished.
Everything formal and elegant and dressed-up. It was my own engagement, and I insisted on going, even though I was too young." She giggled. "I also insisted on doing my hair up on top of my head and wearing a black dress. I must have looked a fright!"
"I was on duty that night, so I didn't see you. But you never look a fright, even when you're acting like one," Ardan grinned, recalling some of their antics when he had first known her.
"Anyway, Hanse had brought a fantastically ancient and valuable vase for Mother...one of those that really belong in a museum, you know. It was lovely, too. All iridescent peacock-blue with pinkish lights all over it. Gorgeous." She sighed.
"I was really too young for such an entertainment. I was overexcited and trying to make an impression. You know how young people are."
Ardan hid his smile.
"Anyway, I insisted on looking at the vase, holding it in my hands." She paused, remembering. "And I dropped it ...A world's ransom in antique vase, and I shattered it to splinters on the parquet flooring of the ballroom. I was mortified.
"Mother was really angry. It's one of the few times I have seen her so furious. And I could see everyone whispering and murmuring behind their hands...I felt like a worm. A veritable worm!"
"I can imagine," Ardan said, picturing the scene.
"I started to cry. Just like the child I was at the time, of course, but it embarrassed me even more than the accident did. I stood there in my sophisticated black dress, my hair beginning to tumble down, and my face wet with tears. I remember thinking that the Prince, mature and at ease and in control of everything around him, would never accept such a complete failure as a wife."
Melissa smiled. "I found a dark corner and was trying to sort myself out and clean up my face, when I felt someone touch my shoulder, and give me a kind of pat. When I looked up, it was Hanse. He was smiling at me."
"That's so like him," Ardan murmured. "He hates for others to be uncomfortable through no great fault of their own."
"I found that out. But I was still mortified to be caught crying like an infant. I said to him, 'I suppose you nevercry, do you?' And his answer comforted me instantly, though I have never quite understood what it meant"
Ardan gazed down at her. "And what did he say?"
Melissa's gray eyes were seeing into the past as she replied, "He said, The Starbird weeps inside.' Do you know what that means?"
For a moment, Ardan caught at an errant memory that evaporated the moment he tried to seize it in thought. "No, though I suspect it means something quite deep and important to Hanse. And I do know that he hates much of what he must do to maintain the balance of powers and influences that hold the Federated Suns stable. I wish I could tell you more..."
She rose. "You look tired. Back to bed with you!"
He found, to his astonishment, that she was right. The short walk, the brief time spent sitting and talking, had drained his energies.
As she accompanied him back to his room, Melissa whispered, "That was when I knew that I would not object ...not at all!...to becoming Hanse Davion's wife."
Ardan thought of that later. It might of course, have been policy...or Hanse's exquisite sense of the decent thing to do. But he suspected otherwise, that Melissa's story revealed a gende man comforting a stricken child. There were worse beginnings for political marriages.