Cregga addressed Brother Hoben so that all at table could hear her. "Tell me, Brother, you taught most of these young 'uns at Abbey School. Would you say they're a pretty bright lot?"
Hoben put aside his soup spoon and looked around. "Hmm. They may be bright now, but most of them were fat-headed dozy little Dibbuns when I taught them."
Mhera silenced the young ones' indignant squeaks and growls by throwing out a challenge. "Right then, let's see, shall we? The creature who can solve most lines of a riddle we have here can sit in the big chair at breakfast tomorrow. Also, with Cregga Badgermum's permission, they can have the entire day off, to do as they please."
The announcement caused a sensation among the young creatures.
"What's the riddle? Bet I can solve it!"
"Go on, go on, tell us what it is, Mhera!"
"Burr, oi'm ee gurtest riggle solverer as ever lived!"
"Oh no you're not, I am!"
Brother Hoben raised his voice. "Then stop chattering and listen to Mhera. Carry on, miz!"
" 'My first is third, like the sound of the sea.' That's the first line. Any ideas as to what it means?"
They stared blankly at Mhera until Floburt inquired, "Are there other lines? Perhaps you could read us one. They may connect up to give a meaning."
Drogg Cellarhog called across from another table. "She's right, miz. Read the lot out, 'tis only fair!"
Mhera had started her dinner. She slid the slate across to Hoben. "I'm famished. You carry on, Brother."
Hoben read the first eight-line poem, slowly and clearly. Immediately they began raising their paws, as if they were still at Abbey School, jigging up and down and calling, "Brother! Brother!"
Hoben pointed at Egburt with a small baton loaf. "You first!"
The young hedgehog scratched his spikes. "I still don't know what the first line means, but the answer to the second line is the letter O. 'My second's the center of you, not me.' O is in the center of the word you, Brother."
As Recorder, Hoben always carried a scrap of parchment and a charcoal stick. He produced them and began writing. "Very good, Egburt. Any more answers, please?"
A mousemaid named Birrel spoke up. "Third line, Brother. 'My third is the end of him but not you.' That's the letter M. It comes at the end of the word him."
Suddenly Mhera had solved the first line, but she was beaten to the answer by young Broggle.
"I've solved the first line! 'My first is third, like the sound of the sea.' Third letter of the alphabet is C. That sounds like the word sea, doesn't it?"
Mhera shook Broggle's paw. "Very clever, mate. That first line had me really baffled. Well done!"
Brother Hoben looked up from his writing. "Floburt, have you got an answer for us?"
The hogmaid fiddled shyly with her apron strings. "Aye, Brother, that line which goes, 'My sixth and seventh start seldom seen.' That's two letters. S and S. 'Seldom seen' starts with them. Er .. . is that right?"
Boorab's earbells tinkled as he applauded. " 'Course it's right, m'gel. I say, can I take a look at your funny old rhyme, wot?"
Hoben passed him the slate. The hare scanned it studiously.
"Ahah! Here's one you'd have to read to flippin' well come up with a solution, this fifth line. 'My fifth is in bean though not in been.' First bean's the bally bean you eat, second one's the been where you've jolly well been, wot. Anyhow, the answer's the letter A. Bit of a swizz, that one, if y'have to listen to it."
Boorab sat down and began tucking into his minted leek'n'potato turnover, nodding at Cregga. "You were right, marm, does taste better when the taters cook down into the leeks, all nice'n'mushy, eh wot!"
"Yurr, this 'un be ee letter P. Moi fourth starts ee pitcher but not ee view. Hurr aye, 'tis ee P all roight."
Brother Hoben chuckled at Gundil's great grin of triumph. "There you are, it wasn't more than your little brain could stand." He held up his paws to stop any further discussion. "Well done, class! I'll let you see what I've written down so far."
Hoben placed his notes in the center of the table. Like everything he did, they were perfectly numbered and laid out. Thus:
1 My first is third, like the sound of the sea C
2 My second's the center of you, not me O
3 My third is the end of him but not you M
4 My fourth starts a picture, not a view P
5 My fifth is in bean though not in been A
6 My sixth and seventh start seldom seen S S
Floburt could hardly contain herself. "It's a compass! The next two lines make it even clearer. Listen.
"Sunrise and sunset, warmth and cold,
Put them together a sign will unfold.
"The sun sets in the west and rises in the east. South is the warm country, north is the cold lands. I've put it together. The compass points: north, south, east and west!"
The Redwallers cheered as Drogg Cellarhog bowed and shifted the big chair back from the head of the table for his granddaughter.
"Sit ye down, my lovely. I'd say you was the winner, paws down!"
Foremole Brull confirmed Drogg's proclamation. "She'm wurr allus gurtly clever, h'even when she'm wurr ee h'infant!"
Boorab dragged his haredee gurdee forward and announced, "In honor of our fair winner I will now render the Ballad of the Brainy Duck. Thank you!"
Sister Alkanet pushed her plate away. "That's completely ruined my appetite!"
The hare shot her a haughty glance. "I heard that remark, marm!" Notwithstanding, he tugged levers and wound wheels until the instrument groaned into action. Much to everybeast's hilarity it kept making noises like a duck. Boorab launched into his song.
"Some said his head was full of stones,
Some said 'twas full of muck,
But I tell you, that wasn't true,
Oh Dingle was a brainy duck!
He knew history and geography,
Read books from front to back,
But the poor little fellow with his webs so yellow
All he could say was Quack!
Oh geese go honk and sparrows tweet,
I suppose jackdaws shout Jack,
But the cleverest bird you've ever heard,
Was the duck who just went Quack!
One day there came a cunning fox,
Who said 'I'm Doctor Black,
And all the ducks believed he was,
'Til Dingle called him Quack!
Oh Quack Quack Quack! Quack Quack Quack!
Brave Dingle Quacked and raved,
So the ducks jumped Quackly in the pond,
And from that fox were saved.
If ever you meet dear Dingle,
Good manners he won't lack,
Just shake his wing, you'll hear him sing,
Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack!"
Midst rousing cheers, Boorab took his bow and, as usual, tripped over the haredee gurdee, rolling under the table with it. Filorn peered down. It was difficult to tell what was hare and what was haredee gurdee, the two were so enmeshed.
"Oh, you poor creature. Are you all right, Mr. Boorab sir?"
His head emerged from between a set of accordion bellows. "Er, hawhaw, quite well, thankee, marm, just makin' a minor adjustment, wot. Me quackin' mechanism overheated, doncha know!"
The friends made their escape to the comparative peace of Cregga's room, where they confronted the remainder of the puzzle. Brother Hoben read it aloud.
"The strangest thing you've ever heard,
A point that makes a noisy word,
The other three make quieter pleas,
Let me start you off with 'teas.'"
Cregga settled into her armchair. "This gets odder by the moment. What's teas supposed to mean?"
Hoben took on a teacherlike air. "Quite simple, really. Teas is just the letters of east messed around a bit, right, Mhera?"
"Yes, Brother, like north makes, er, er . . . thorn!"
Cregga caught on quickly. "And west makes, let me see ... stew!"
Hoben nodded. "It's an old trick, but it will fool you easily if you don't look out for it. So, that leaves south, the point that makes the word shout. That's a noisy word, I'd say. Oh, then there's these two final lines. Listen carefully.