He had dropped the taxi off at a scrap-metal yard in South London and watched as it had been crushed with Hapless Harry in the boot, then he had gone back to the house to make sure they had cleaned away everything to do with the man. He knew the girls would not be able to resist using any credit cards that might be floating around. He had disappeared, and that was that. The last thing they needed was his cards being kited around Brentford shopping centre.
Then Patricia had offered him a lift, because he had no car and had been dropped back at the house by one of the men from the scrappy who was after a freebie with the girls for his time and effort. He had realised then that the wedding was a no go, and in fact he'd known all along that he was not going to show up. He would have started a fight with a complete stranger if he'd had to in order to keep away.
Something inside him had berated him, told him that nothing should keep him away from Jimmy's big day. That it would cause bad blood, because Jimmy had put a lot of store on his wedding, and he also put a lot of store on Freddie being his best man. It was an honour, and on one level he was gutted that he had let him down, but he also knew he would now be the talk of the wedding, and, like Jackie, he needed to be the centre of attention no matter what.
Patricia got out of the bed and lit a cigarette. She sighed and yawned. 'You had better get your arse in gear and show your face, hadn't you?'
He sighed. 'Bit late now.' He grinned lazily at her and patted the sheets. 'Come back to bed, I've fucked meself now anyway.'
His arrogance, as far as she could see, knew no bounds. She stood up and said nonchalantly, 'No way! I am invited to the reception and I am going, mate. I like little Jimmy and so does Ozzy. I have to give them their wedding present, Ozzy spent ages agonising over it.'
With those few words Freddie finally realised exactly what he had done. He would have to justify a blanking of this magnitude with something big.
The Irish club was packed now, and the reception was in full swing. Even the priest was drunk, and leading a private singsong of Irish rebels' songs in the corner by the bar.
Maggie was still wearing her long ivory dress and her hair was still perfect, and Jimmy gazed at her in wonderment. She was finally his, and they were going to be together for ever.
There was plenty of food, the drink was flowing freely, everyone was having the time of their lives, yet for all his smiling and joking Jimmy had never taken his eyes off the door.
Freddie had been a complete no-show.
He felt in his pocket for the keys given to him by Patricia. They were the keys to a small hairdresser's in Silvertown, and he was astonished at Ozzy's generosity. He had yet to tell Maggie but he was saving it for later, for the right moment. When he had explained that to Pat, she had understood his reasoning and told him he was an old romantic at heart.
He had responded with a smile. 'I hope so. I want her to have all the romance and love she can handle.'
Pat had walked away then, and he would have laid money that she had tears in her steely green eyes.
Glenford was talking about his Irish grandfather and everyone around him was in stitches. He had made the day for them, had stepped into the breech, as they say, and Jimmy would be grateful to him for that until the day he died. The wedding had been a success, but to him it had been marred by Freddie's absence. He also knew he would never forgive Freddie for this humiliation.
Maggie went to him then, and she slipped into his arms comfortably. He held her tight and they swayed together to Teddy Pendergrass's 'Love TKO', a record they had made love to so many times. Feeling his disappointment over Freddie's disregard for them she whispered, 'I love you, Jimmy Jackson.'
It was heartfelt and, looking into her deep-blue eyes, he decided then and there that he was not going to let Freddie ruin this moment, this day, or this wonderful journey they were about to embark on. He would look after this girl, and he would try to ensure that she never knew an unhappy day in her life. And if she ever did, it would not be because of him.
'Maggie, I love you, girl, and I promise you will never know hurt from me.'
Jackie was dancing nearby with Joseph and, hearing the words, she wanted to cry. Not just for them and their obvious happiness, but because she was alone and she was living a lie. She saw Jimmy kiss her sister gently on the lips, his arms protective as he held her, and her sister's eyes so trusting and so bright as he whispered in her ear.
'Ozzy sent you something wonderful, baby.'
Maggie was nonplussed and she laughed as she said, 'What? What you on about?'
Pat was nearby now because Jimmy had motioned to her to join them. Jimmy placed the keys in Maggie's hand and she stared at them in bewilderment.
'What are these for, then?'
Pat took her cue and said happily, 'It's a salon, babe, and it's yours. Ozzy has also earmarked ten grand for you to do it up exactly how you want.'
Maggie's scream could be heard all over the Irish club. People snapped their heads in her direction and then smiled as they realised she was squealing with happiness. She was hugging Patricia and then jumping up and down with glee as she told everyone what had just happened.
Jackie stood back. Unlike her father, who was congratulating his daughter profusely, she felt the usual jealousy and antagonism. As always, Maggie had been given it all on a plate.
The news went round, the congrats were given, and Jimmy was once more proud that Ozzy had seen fit to reward them so generously. It set the seal on a perfect day and he took her back into his arms to the strains of The Temptations and 'My Girl'.
As they swayed together, Freddie walked through the door. He was in his morning suit and he looked dishevelled and drunk. Sighing, Jimmy watched as he strode purposefully over to his mother.
Maddie stood up and greeted him, but the smile did not reach her eyes.
Then Freddie began walking her out of the room. He shrugged at Jimmy, who, against his better wishes, followed him outside with his new wife in tow. He knew the eyes of the room were on them and wondered if he was going to have to fight him this night, of all nights.
'What happened to you, then?' he asked.
Freddie held out his arms in supplication. 'I am so sorry, Jimmy, but me dad's topped himself.'
It was Maggie's, 'Oh my God,' that started Maddie off". She was wailing like a banshee, a terrible, lonely sound like a wounded fox, high and filled with such pain it was almost unbearable to listen to. It was this terrible keening that brought everyone outside to hear the terrible news.
But even as he commiserated with him, spoke all the appropriate words, Jimmy was sure that it was not the real reason for his blanking his wedding, and he knew that Freddie was well aware of that.
Book Two
Thou shalt not steal; an empty feat, When it's so lucrative to cheat.
– Arthur Hugh Clough 'The Latest Decalogue'
Proprium humani ingenii est odisse quem laeseris.
It is part of human nature to hate the man you have hurt.
– Tacitus Aricola, 42
Chapter Ten
Jackie watched as her son demolished another Easter egg, stuffing it into his mouth and barely chewing the chocolate before grabbing another one. He would be sick soon and he would cry, then the whole cycle would start all over again.
As usual mere were too many eggs, too much chocolate, and she did not have the energy to tell him to wait until he had eaten his dinner. He never ate real food, not in this house, anyway. He ate crap, and she had stopped trying to make him do any different.
His tantrums were legendary, and his sisters had gone ahead to their aunt's house rather than sit and listen to it all. He had been calling them names since he had awoken at five thirty that morning. He had sat up all night watching videos, and had not deigned to go to bed until gone two.