He had been so embarrassed he had caused ructions. But Jackie, she was a lost cause and they both knew it. He told himself that was why he didn't bother, he was trapped with her and he had accepted it. Since his son's birth he had been tied to that place. The worse his son behaved the less he wanted to be there, but the tighter the hold she had over him. He hated his life and yet he didn't know what to do about it.
If it wasn't for Patricia he knew he would lose it completely. Even though he wanted her more than he had ever wanted anyone before, he knew it suited him that Pat was not the clingy type. Jackie would completely fold without him. Although he knew they were not healthy together, if he left her it would be the end of her world. He was the only thing she had ever really wanted until his son had been born, and now Little Freddie had to try to make up for his father's absence.
Jimmy let him in to the house and they hugged. This was a new thing with them which had started a few months before when they had been drunk, and now it seemed right to show the deep feelings they had for one another. And the feelings they had for one another did run deep, even though as time was going on it was becoming harder for Freddie to ignore Little Jimmy's success.
In the dining room he saw that Paul and Liselle had already gone, but the usual hangers-on were still there, his family included. He kissed his mum, said his hellos and sat down. He barely glanced at his wife, but as Maggie put a plate of food in front of him he smiled at her nicely. 'Thanks, mate.'
She smiled back. It was a game they now played.
Maggie looked beautiful, her hair was now dyed a deeper blond, and it had white highlights that made her look even more angelic than usual. It was her teeth he really admired, though, straight and a startling white. But then she was always tanned these days. She was the epitome of the nineties woman, independent and well groomed, and she was sensible enough to make sure her husband was fed and watered and shagged into submission into the bargain.
He envied Jimmy his marriage as he envied him his peace of mind.
The turkey was moist and the salad was crunchy, and as he watched Jackie trying to focus as she spoke to him he sighed inside. Even Little Freddie was good when he was with Maggie, and his girls worshipped her. She made sure their hair was perfect and that they knew how to dress for their builds, and she gave them a safe haven when Jackie's drinking got too much for them.
As much as he was grateful for all that, his nature also made him resentful of her. Like his wife, inside he felt this couple showed up the uselessness of their existence together, and no one liked to be reminded of that.
'Will you answer me, for fuck's sake.'
Jackie was shouting at him now and he turned towards her and smiled. 'I heard you the tenth time, Jackie. I told you this morning, if you had listened to me then, I had to go out and do a bit of business, all right?'
She was placated because he had spoken directly to her.
Little Freddie came in and he sat him on his lap and let him feed off his plate. He knew the boy only ate proper food if it was given to him in this manner.
His daughters were all watching a film and he could hear them laughing and chatting together. They would wait until he went in to see them. They were getting big girls now and he knew he had to keep an eye on them, especially his eldest. Kim was built like a thirty year old, and knew more than the brasses who worked for him. She was ripe for the picking, and he was determined that she would get a better crack at her life than they had. Maggie was taking her into the salon business with her once she finished her college course in health and beauty, which pleased him. She would still be in his orbit, and that was important to him.
Joseph started to tell a long convoluted story about when he was a young man and had got his first job. As he watched him spin the tale, Freddie finally relaxed. He would sit it out for a while, and then he and Jimmy would have to get going. But he could manage an hour or so with this lot.
He glanced at his mother. She was so lovely to him, and he worshipped her in his own way. But she depressed him. Her whole life was spent waiting to die, and it annoyed him. Life was for living and the worst life was worth fighting for. Even Jackie would go out kicking and screaming, he was sure of that much.
He was proud that his mother was still well groomed, but since his father's death she had become as mad as a hatter. He knew it was only him and the kids that had kept her going. Her advice about Little Freddie had been to give him a good hiding, and he had a feeling she was right about that much at least.
Maddie saw him looking at her and she winked at him. She had always winked at him at Mass when he had been a kid and he had loved it, so he winked back. He saw Lena had noticed the gesture, and she smiled at him kindly.
He liked Lena. She was a nice old bird, and she looked out for his mum, which saved him a job. So if for no other reason than that he would have liked her anyway. But she was also a shrewd old bird and she helped keep Jackie together, which Jackie needed these days because, thanks to the drink, she was gradually unravelling at the seams.
If Jackie knew exactly what he and Jimmy were now involved in, she would go completely over the edge. Her biggest fear was of him getting another capture, even though he knew in other ways she would probably welcome it, just so she could be certain where he was of a night. He wondered if Maggie knew the half of it. Jimmy told her most things, but he had a feeling even Jimmy would think twice before discussing this lot with his wife.
If they worked this right it would be the pinnacle of their careers in skulduggery. It could also be the reason why they spent the remainder of their youth in a maximum security prison.
Maggie had washed up and put nearly everything away, with her mother happily helping her. She poured them both a large Scotch before saying, 'Leave it now, Mum. I'll finish unloading the dishwasher in the morning.'
'It won't take a sec, darling.'
Maggie let her mother do it, she knew she loved this part of the day. Lena enjoyed her houses even more than she did.
'Oh, I love this place. Stay here for a while, love, it's gorgeous.'
Maggie grinned. We'll give it a while, Mum, don't worry.'
Lena sat down heavily on the stool opposite her daughter. She was so enthralled with this breakfast bar she felt she could sit there all day. Just looking around her at her daughter's home, at her life, made her happy. If only Jackie could find that kind of peace she would finally feel she could relax and stop worrying about them all. But right now she had an agenda, and even though it was the last thing she wanted to bring into their conversation she did not know who else to turn to for advice.
So lighting yet another cigarette she said quietly, 'Something's got to be done about Jackie, you know that, don't you?'
Maggie sighed then. She had been expecting this, it was a conversation they had frequently. 'What do you suggest, then? She ain't going to stop drinking, until she really wants to.'
Lena nodded in agreement. 'Someone needs to talk to her about it…'
Maggie held up her hands in supplication. 'Well, it ain't going to be me this time. I've tried it before and she nearly ripped my head off. It's an illness, Mum, and she doesn't think she is ill.'
Lena had looked old lately, and as Maggie watched her sipping her Chivas Regal she saw the lines that had gathered around her eyes and her mouth. They made her look as if she was permanently unhappy, which she wasn't. Considering the life she had been given, she was a relatively happy woman. It was Jackie who worried her, who gave her sleepless nights.
'That child is out of his fucking tree,' Lena said. 'Did you hear about yesterday?'
Maggie shook her head. 'What's he done this time?'
She sounded bored. Little Freddie was always doing something, it was him, it was how he lived. He was his mother's son, a drama queen. Not that she would ever say that out loud, of course.