“She became frightened for some reason when she heard my voice. This eunuch probably mistreated her in the sovereign’s absence.”
The emir glared at the eunuch. The latter began to shake and bowed to the ground, not daring to say a word in his own defense.
“Guljan, you are in danger,” Hodja Nasreddin said. “But I will save you, and you must trust me, for my skill can overcome anything.”
He fell silent, awaiting her response. Did Guljan not understand, did she not guess? But then her voice came:
“I hear you, Hussein Huslia, sage from Baghdad. I know about you and trust you; I say this here, in the presence of my sovereign, whose legs I can see through a crack in my curtain.”
Remembering that he needed to maintain a learned and dignified look in front of the emir, Hodja Nasreddin said sternly:
“Give me your hand, so that I can determine your illness by the color of your nails.”
The silk billowed and parted. Gently, Hodja Nasreddin took Guljan’s slender hand. He could only express his emotions with a squeeze. Guljan reciprocated faintly. He turned her hand, facing the palm upwards, and looked at it attentively for a long time. “How thin she has grown!” he thought with pain in his heart. The emir leaned over his shoulder and began to wheeze right over his ear. Hodja Nasreddin showed him the nail on Guljan’s pinky and shook his head concernedly. Although the nail on the pinky did not look any different from the other nails, the emir managed to see something out of the ordinary. Pursing his lips, he gave Hodja Nasreddin a meaningful, understanding glance.
“Where do you feel pain?” Hodja Nasreddin asked.
“My heart,” she replied with a sigh. “My heart hurts from grief and anguish.”
“What is the cause of your grief?”
“I am separated from the one I love.” Hodja Nasreddin whispered to the emir:
“She is ill because she is separated from the sovereign.”
The emir’s face lit up with pleasure. He began to wheeze even louder.
“I am separated from my beloved!” Guljan spoke. “And now I can sense that my beloved is here, nearby, but I can neither embrace nor kiss him. O, when will the day come when he will embrace me and bring me closer to him?”
“Almighty Allah!” Hodja Nasreddin exclaimed, feigning amazement. “What mighty passion the sovereign has managed to arouse in her in so short a time!”
The emir was absolutely delighted. He could not even stand still; he began to shift from foot to foot and snicker into his hand stupidly.
“Guljan!” Hodja Nasreddin said. “Calm down. The one who loves you can hear you!”
“Yes, yes!” the emir could not restrain himself. “He hears, Guljan! Your beloved hears you!”
Quiet laughter came from behind the curtain, resembling the babbling of water. Hodja Nasreddin continued:
“You are in danger, Guljan, but you must not be afraid. I, the famous sage, astrologer, and healer Hussein Huslia, will save you!”
“He will save you!” the delighted emir repeated. “He will definitely save you!”
“You heard the sovereign,” Hodja Nasreddin concluded. “You must trust me, I will deliver you from danger. The day of your happiness is near. The sovereign cannot visit you right now, for I have warned him that the stars forbid him to touch the veil of a woman. But the stars are beginning to change their arrangement, do you understand, Guljan? Soon they will enter a favorable union, and you will embrace your beloved. The day when I send you your medicine will precede your joy. Do you understand, Guljan? Upon receiving your medicine, you must be ready!”
“Thank you, thank you, Hussein Huslia!” she replied, laughing and weeping from joy. “Thank you, incomparable and wise healer of the sick. My beloved is nearby, I can feel our hearts beating together!…” The emir and Hodja Nasreddin left. The head eunuch caught up with them near the gate.
“O sovereign!” he exclaimed, falling to his knees. “Truly, the world has never seen such a skilled healer. She lay without movement for three days, but now she has left her bed, she is laughing and dancing, and even deigned to slap me when I approached her.”
“Sounds familiar,” Hodja Nasreddin thought. “She always had quick hands, my Guljan!”
During the morning meal, the emir showered all the courtiers with favors. He gave two purses to Hodja Nasreddin – a large one filled with silver, and a smaller one filled with gold.
“What passion we inspired in her, though!” he said, snickering. “Admit it, Hussein Huslia, it is not often that you get to see such passion, yes? And how her voice was trembling, how she laughed and cried! Imagine what else you will see, Hussein Huslia, when you take the post of head eunuch!”
Whispers spread through the rows of bowing courtiers. A gloating smirk flickered on Bakhtiyar’s face. Only now did Hodja Nasreddin understand who had planted the idea to appoint him head eunuch in the emir’s head.
“She is better already,” the emir continued, “and there are no more reasons to delay with your appointment. We will have some tea now, Hussein Huslia, and then you can sequester yourself with the surgeon. Hey, you!” he said to the surgeon. “Go fetch your knives. Bakhtiyar, give me the decree.”
Hodja Nasreddin choked on the hot tea and coughed. Bakhtiyar stepped forward with the prepared decree in his hands, trembling with vengeful delight. The emir was handed a quill; he signed the decree and returned it to Bakhtiyar, who hastily applied a carved copper seal.
All of this happened in less than a minute.
“It seems you have lost your tongue from joy, o esteemed sage Hussein Huslia!” Bakhtiyar said with a triumphant smile. “But the courtly custom demands you thank the emir.”
Hodja Nasreddin bent his knees before the emir.
“At last, my wish is granted!” he said. “And imagine my annoyance at the delay which stems from the necessity to prepare medicine for the emir’s concubine, so as to strengthen her healing, for otherwise the illness will return to her body.”
“Will preparing the medicine really take so much time?” Bakhtiyar asked with concern. “One can prepare medicine in half an hour.”
“Exactly,” the emir said. “Half an hour is quite enough.”
“O sovereign, everything depends on the stars Sad-ad-Zabikh,” Hodja Nasreddin replied, using his last and most potent measure. “Depending on their arrangement, I will need from two to five days.”
“Five days!” Bakhtiyar exclaimed. “O esteemed Hussein Huslia, I have never heard a medicine taking five days to prepare!”
Hodja Nasreddin turned to the emir:
“Perhaps the illustrious ruler will deign to entrust the further healing of the new concubine to Grand Vizier Bakhtiyar instead of me? Let him try to heal her, but then I do not vouch for her life.”
“What are you talking about, Hussein Huslia?” the emir said fearfully. “Bakhtiyar doesn’t understand anything about illnesses and, in fact, does not exactly have the sharpest mind, as we had already discussed when I offered you the post of grand vizier.”
A slow spasm passed over the entire body of the grand vizier, and he directed a gaze full of insatiable hatred at Hodja Nasreddin.
“Go and prepare the medicine,” the emir concluded. “But five days is a long time, Hussein Huslia. Perhaps you could manage to do it sooner, for we can’t wait to see you as head eunuch.”
“Great ruler, I can’t wait for it myself!” Hodja Nasreddin exclaimed. “I will try to finish sooner.”
Walking backwards and bowing incessantly, he departed. Bakhtiyar followed him with a gaze which showed clear regret that his enemy and rival was leaving without losing any of his body parts.